In the early days of running workshops, I would actively seek out negative feedback to find where I thought I had gone wrong.
If I’m honest, I often defended myself internally.
That’s just them.
What would they know?
They don’t get the work.
The feedback felt like a threat.
These days, I still seek out challenging feedback, but for very different reasons - to see what I can learn and improve on.
There’s another blind spot I’ve come to recognise, when I focus solely on negative feedback, I miss something just as important.
The opportunity to acknowledge, absorb and savour the positive feedback.
Our brains are wired with a negativity bias; we look for danger by comparison.
Many of us scan for what’s wrong. Whether it’s in our work, our relationships, or our days. We move straight past what’s going well.
I often say it’s not about stopping to smell the roses, but taking time to admire them makes a real difference to our wellbeing.
Recently, I received some genuinely positive feedback – “A big thank you for your fantastic presentation and the genuine way you connected with everyone, it truly made the day memorable. The content you shared resonated deeply.”
Instead of skimming over it or brushing it off, I read it slowly and sat with it. I felt content.
It reminded me why the work we do is so important and reconnected me to my sense of purpose.
How often do you deliberately look for what’s going right or let positive feedback stay with you for more than a few seconds?
Simple reflections on the small positives, the kind we usually rush past, can remarkably improve our sense of self-worth.
Growth isn’t just about fixing what’s wrong. Sometimes, it’s about finally allowing ourselves to acknowledge what’s right.
Let’s talk!
The Power of Giving Back!
The Power of Giving Back!
Today I had the privilege of attending the opening of a newly renovated classroom for Life Education Trust, Rodney.
Having previously served as a trustee and now a proud patron, it was a special moment to see firsthand the impact that passion, commitment and community support can have.
Coincidentally, just recently my son and my granddaughter were talking about how much the mobile classroom visit meant to them.
The learning stayed with them and so did the experience. And of course, Harold the giraffe, who seemed to steal the show.
That’s the magic of what Life Education does. It’s not just education, t’s connection, memory and influence that lasts well beyond the classroom.
Those who have been involved in not-for-profit work know just how much effort it takes to simply keep things afloat let alone to grow and thrive.
And yet, organisations like Life Education continue to show up for our young people, our tamariki, our rangatahi.
There is something powerful about volunteering, and something even more meaningful when it’s in service of the next generation.
Life Education Trust has been supporting young New Zealanders for over 35 years, shaping healthier choices and stronger futures.
But none of this happens without people, without time, without generosity.
If you have a few hours a month, or even a few dollars to spare, please consider giving it to a cause like Life Education.
Because without the quiet dedication of volunteers and the kindness of donors, many of these life-changing initiatives simply wouldn’t exist.
And our young people would be poorer for it.
What Are Your True Values?
Over the last few years of running workshops on identifying and using personal values, one thing continues to inspire me - the impact that understanding your values has on your calm, your clarity and your connection with others.
Our values are always at work, whether we’ve identified them or not.
👉 When we feel triggered, it’s often because a value has been offended.
👉 When something doesn’t feel right, it’s usually because it doesn’t align with what matters most to us.
👉 When something plays on our mind, it’s often because either we or someone else has acted against a value we hold deeply. What we often miss are the other costs of not understanding our values:
👉 Chronic frustration or resentment without knowing why.
👉 Decision fatigue, overthinking choices that should feel clearer.
👉 People-pleasing that slowly erodes self-respect.
👉 Reacting emotionally instead of responding intentionally.
👉 Feeling disconnected from work, relationships, or even yourself.
When values stay unconscious, they don’t disappear; they simply run the show from the background.
Yet when you know them, you gain a language for your reactions, you strengthen your decision-making, and you feel steadier in difficult conversations. I
’ve included an image containing our primary values. Follow this process to find your top primary values: 1️⃣ Read every word (English or Māori) without a pen in your hand.
2️⃣ Read every word a second time, this time writing down, circling underlining or putting a mark next to the words that resonate with you. Words that give you a good feeling, words you know are who you are.
3️⃣ Now select the top five of the words you’ve marked – they are your solid values to guide you.
If you’ve ever wondered why certain moments hit harder than others, or why some decisions feel peaceful and others exhausting – start with your values.
They’ve been guiding you all along.
Let’s talk!
The Disruptive Activities of a Busy Brain!
In today's busy world, the brain does some interesting things to try and keep up.
In my workshops, I often talk about what I call the three disruptive activities the brain defaults to when work gets busy and cognitive load increases:
1️⃣ Multitasking - Trying to do two or three things at once. Neuroscience is clear on this: we don’t multitask, we task‑switch, and every switch comes with a cost. Attention fragments, mistakes increase, and mental fatigue ramps up.
2️⃣ Procrastination - Putting important or effortful tasks off to deal with what’s right in front of us. This is the brain avoiding complexity or discomfort in favour of short‑term relief.
3️⃣ Attentional narrowing - Also known as reactive mode, when demands pile up, the brain narrows its focus. We become busy but not effective.
From a neuroscience perspective, this happens when the prefrontal cortex becomes overloaded, and the brain shifts from thinking to coping.
It’s efficient for survival, but it’s terrible for getting through meaningful work, leaving many well-intentioned people feeling exhausted.
Feeling like they’ve been flat out all day, yet barely getting through their to-do list.
The solution is to:
➡️ Take micro‑breaks to reset attention
➡️ Limit distractions so the brain doesn’t default to reactive mode
➡️ Use lists and structure to offload memory and regain perspective
Start working with your brain, not against it.
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What Makes Us Different?
One of the first questions organisations ask us is “What exactly do you do that’s different?”
The answer is the same; we start with understanding. Before a single session is designed or delivered, we take time to assess the organisation as a whole.
What is your plan, what are your challenges, what do you want to achieve in the long term?
Importantly, we then examine the emotional, behavioural, and human demands that people absorb daily.
Change doesn’t land the same way everywhere. What we build is purpose‑designed, focused only on what this organisation and its people are dealing with right now.
The biggest improvements rarely come from doing more.
They come from identifying small behavioural changes that:
✅ Reduce unnecessary friction
✅ Improve responses under pressure
✅ Strengthen confidence in handling difficult situations
✅ Protect your people from emotional overload
Strengthening what’s already working and aligning our behaviour with reality is what works best.
That’s how we make change manageable instead of overwhelming.
Let’s talk!