A lifetime of working with undiagnosed ADHD leaves its mark.
Back then, it wasn’t recognised. It was labelled as anger, and misunderstood as attitude, disobedience, or trouble.
I wasn’t difficult, I was unsupported. I pushed through school without knowing why I couldn’t focus, why I reacted so quickly, or why everything felt harder than it should.
Nobody knew, I didn’t know. When I got into trouble, and my parents asked why, I simply said, “I don’t know.”
Then, at 35, I learned how to learn. Imagine that - halfway through life, finally understanding how my brain worked.
It changed everything, but the real shift came later.
Three years of intense depression while in the police, three years of hiding the struggle behind a uniform, three years of thinking I just had to ‘harden up.’
That was the start of my real journey. Not the badges, not the cases, not the rank.
Understanding people, understanding pain, understanding the brain. And eventually, understanding myself.
Although they hurt me, those years didn’t break me. They shaped me.
They moved me towards helping others before they reach the point I once did.
Today, I know this:
🧠 When you’ve lived inside the chaos, you recognise it in others.
🧠 When you’ve felt the weight of depression, you see the signs others hide.
🧠 When your own brain has been a battlefield, you learn how to guide people out of their own.
May I say I am proud of the work we do now, which isn’t about theory; it’s about lived experience.
I share this with you for one reason - whatever you’re carrying, you’re not alone.
Brains can be rewired, lives can be redirected, and sometimes the hardest years become the most meaningful.
You’ve got this.
Let’s talk.
A Simple Sigh!
Have you ever wondered why we tend to sigh a lot at the moment, and why we often yawn?
Why do they arrive without warning, as if our body knows something that our mind doesn't?
A sigh usually shows up when we feel stressed and tired.
Inside our brains, nothing is ever random. A sigh or yawn is a rescue mission.
It’s an inhale the brainstem triggers on purpose, and a long, slow exhale that says “I’ve got you.”
A sigh resets the lungs; it reopens the alveoli that stress has collapsed and restores oxygen the way clarity restores hope.
The vagus nerve lights up, our heart rate softens, and the amygdala loosens its grip.
Our prefrontal cortex, the part of us that thinks clearly, finally comes back online.
A yawn does something similar; it resets attention when our mind is overloaded or exhausted.
It’s the body’s way of saying, “Stay awake, stay alert, we’ve got something else to do.”
A sigh or yawn is an emotional release disguised as biology, a small moment of regulation.
They show up when life gets heavy, when the mind gets busy, and when the world demands so much of us.
Sometimes we just need to breathe.
So, the next time you sigh – don’t apologise, don’t hide it, don’t brush it away – embrace it.
It’s our brain trying to take care of us, one breath at a time.
Let’s talk!
The Importance of Being Earnest.
The Importance of Being Earnest - I don’t mean the movie, I mean real life.
Being earnest, being sincere, being real and being genuine.
Somewhere along the line, we learned to hide the truth about how we feel.
To stay strong, to keep going, to not rock the boat.
And in doing so, we trained our nervous system to stay on alert – always managing impressions, always performing, rarely relaxing into who we really are.
But neuroscience shows us that when we speak honestly and connect genuinely, our brains release oxytocin, the bonding chemical. Oxytocin lowers stress hormones like cortisol and signals to the nervous system, You’re safe.
In real-life experience, it is even clearer. When you’re earnest, people relax around you, conversations become human instead of transactional, and trust builds without effort.
Emotional honesty is not weakness; it’s not oversharing, nor is it vulnerability for its own sake.
Its alignment, its safety, its connection. It’s the moment our brain and body stop fighting each other.
Sincerity strengthens our brain. In a world full of noise, filters, and performance, maybe the bravest thing we could do is to say what is true, while being mindful not to hurt others.
Because when you speak earnestly, people feel safe with you. And that’s where every meaningful relationship begins.
Let’s talk
It's What Underlies Our Visible Emotion That Matters.
A couple of days ago, I found myself frustrated with technology.
Nothing dramatic, just one of those moments where things wouldn’t work the way they were supposed to.
I didn’t realise my words had become harsher than I intended.
It wasn’t the technology, it wasn’t the lack of internet connection, it wasn’t that I needed to access documents.
It was the pressure underneath it all, the importance of the task, the urgency, the fear of letting someone down.
That’s what was really speaking.
Neuroscience tells us that when stress rises, the brain tries to protect us by reacting fast, too fast.
The amygdala fires before the thinking brain even comes online.
Our tone sharpens, our patience shortens, our focus narrows to the threat, not to the reality.
And suddenly, we’re reacting to something on the surface when the real trigger is sitting quietly underneath.
For me, it wasn’t a glitch in a device – it was the weight of needing that device to work because what I was doing mattered.
I think this happens to all of us more often than we admit.
• We snap at our kids – not because of the spilt juice, but because we’re overwhelmed.
• We get short with a colleague – not because of the question, but because we’re already carrying too much.
• We get frustrated at a small problem – because the bigger problem is sitting in the background, unnoticed.
This is not an excuse; it is a reason.
So, what should we try to do? The true origins of Stoicism had this in mind:
• Pause – stop for a moment.
• Question your thoughts – what is causing me to feel this way?
• Act according to your values – it will be the wrong thing if not aligned with who you are.
• NOT let the emotion guide our action – and that is where I went wrong.
Awareness is powerful; it’s just hard to do in the immediate moment.
Apologise as soon as you can for behaving in a way that is not in line with your desired action, reflect on what happened, and commit to doing better next time.
Let’s talk!
Have You Ever Witnessed A Workplace Accident?
Have you ever witnessed a workplace accident?
I have.
Many years ago, as a builder, I watched a rigger fall from the roof of a commercial building I was overseeing.
On the way down, he struck a pallet of blocks.
It was surreal. And it’s an image I still see, even now.
That moment changes how you think about safety.
Not paperwork, not procedures, but people.
Over the years, I became deeply involved in workplace safety – as a Health and Safety Representative, in senior safety roles, and later investigating incidents & accidents.
Even then, one thing was clear: What we were doing 40 years ago wasn’t working.
We often discuss psychological safety.
It’s often described as feeling safe to speak up.
Psychological safety is about trust under pressure. It’s what happens when:
👉 Someone raises a concern
👉 A mistake is exposed
👉 A decision is challenged
👉 The stakes are high
And most importantly, how we respond in those moments.
Genuine psychological safety means you can speak honestly without fear of retribution.
Mistakes shouldn’t be met with humiliation; disagreement shouldn’t cost you a sense of belonging.
Many workplaces claim psychological safety, right up until someone says, 'This isn’t working, this is wrong.'
That’s when genuine psychological safety is tested. Not in policies, in behaviour.
Psychological safety matters, and in some circumstances, more than physical safety.
Let’s talk!