Recently, I was sent two photos.
One taken when I first began my Diploma in Positive Psychology and Well-being course through the Langley Group, the other taken seven years later after completing the same course again.
In the first photo, I see someone who looks unsure, innocent even. Someone who appears lost and is hoping to find something rewarding.
A person simply going through the motions, hoping something would change but not quite knowing how, when, or why.
Searching for purpose but not yet finding it. Lost!
In the second photo, I see someone different. Still the same person, but more grounded.
More confident, more healthy, more happy. Someone who has found their direction and, more importantly, their purpose.
What changed?
This journey wasn’t just about learning new theories or earning a qualification, which is what I initially set out to do.
It was about unlearning old patterns, facing uncomfortable truths, and slowly yet often painfully growing into the person I knew I had to become.
I was not a bad person; I just wasn’t a nice one. I cared, I loved, I supported – yet there was something missing.
We know what we know because of how we were treated, because of how we learned from others, because of the actions of those we loved.
Knowing something is not right is the first step; the next is to find out what that something is.
I never thought I would find out as much about myself as I did when completing this diploma. And it hurt!
I sometimes have watery eyes as I think about how I was to how I am now. Not perfect, more human.
I’m sure many of you have been in the same situation. Feeling that something is missing, something needs changing, something just doesn’t feel right.
If you’re feeling lost, uncertain, or like you’re just going through the motions, please know this: change doesn’t come in a flash.
Sometimes it takes years. But every small step matters. Every moment of doubt, every little win, every lesson – they all add up to a powerful transformation.
And, one day, you will look back at an old photo and smile. Not because you’ve arrived, but because you’ve grown.
Growing hurts, but growth is so rewarding.
What small things can you do to improve yourself and grow?
Let’s talk!
When Pets Become Family!
When a Pet Becomes Family – And Then Leaves Us
Lately, I have been seeing numerous posts across all social media platforms about the loss of a pet.
It's the kind of grief that sneaks up on us. They sit beside us in our darkest moments and celebrate with us in our brightest.
They ask for nothing but love, and give it unconditionally.
What makes it even more painful for many of us is that our pets are the ones we can tell everything to without fear of judgment.
Our worries, our secrets, our fears. They listen, and they sit with us. And when they’re gone, it feels like a part of our soul has gone with them.
When we lost our last family pet, George, I wasn’t prepared for the depth of emotion.
The house felt quieter, emptier. I kept expecting to hear the familiar sound of paws, the gentle nudge for attention, the look that said, I’m here, and I love you.
What surprised me most was how raw the grief felt. It wasn’t just sadness, it was heartbreak. It broke us all!
And yet, in that pain, I found something beautiful - the reminder of how deeply we had loved George.
To anyone who’s lost a furry (or feathered or scaled) friend, I see you.
Your pain is real. Your love was real. And your memories are forever.
If you feel comfortable, I’d love to hear about the pet who changed your life.
Let’s honour them together.
And, let’s talk about them!
Communication Strategies
A lot of the stress that we face at work involves difficult communication in some form or another.
Whether it is communicating with challenging customers, handling difficult colleagues, running meetings, or presenting to a large audience, these things all involve communicating.
To have good communication skills, you not only need reasonable grammatical knowledge and confidence, but you also need to control your emotions during these conversations.
To control your emotions, you need to control your thoughts. That is what I learned to do effectively and efficiently as a crisis negotiator. Controlling my thoughts, which controlled my emotions, so that I could quickly and successfully engage with a person in crisis.
Here are a few quick communication tips that may work for you:
👉 Don't say the first thing that comes into your head when emotional because it will always be wrong.
👉 Take a long, slow, deep, quiet breath to control your adrenaline before meetings and during difficult encounters. Breathing out slowly will also reduce your heart rate.
👉 Slow is smooth, smooth is fast. Slow things down so that you remain calm and in control.
👉 Address difficult messages early in conversations. Avoid using the 'praise sandwich' approach, as it can lead to confusion and dilute the impact of important feedback.
👉 Refrain from sending emails when you are emotional. Walk away, grab a glass of water or go for a walk and come back to it when you are feeling calm.
👉 Be quick to apologise if you made an error of judgment in something that you have said or sent.
Let's talk!
Stop For Just A Moment.
Jumped to conclusions. Formed opinions. All based on fragments of information. We’ve all done it.
A diagnosis.
A headline.
A moment of conflict.
But what if we paused? What if we asked more questions? What if we waited for all the facts?
I’ve seen people judged for their actions without anyone knowing the pain behind them.
I’ve felt the sting of being misunderstood, and the relief when someone took the time to truly listen.
Whether it’s a personal struggle, a workplace challenge, or something we see in the media – we owe it to ourselves and to others to seek understanding before judgment.
Pause.
Ask.
Listen.
Learn.
Because compassion begins where assumptions end.
And wisdom starts with knowing we don’t know everything.
Lets’ talk!
We Can Learn To learn!
After 7 years from when I first started, I’ve finally completed my Diploma in Positive Psychology and Well-being (DPP) through the Langley Group Institute and Sue Langley.
It wasn’t easy. In fact, it was one of the most challenging things I’ve ever done.
Not because of the content, but because it required me to look inward, to learn about myself, and to apply what I was learning in real time.
I left high school with no qualifications. Learning was hard for me. I didn’t understand the language, the structure, or the systems.
It wasn’t until I was 35 that I discovered how to learn. And it opened a whole new world, the world of understanding.
Since then, I’ve earned a Diploma in Policing, a Graduate Diploma in Business Studies, and a Master of Arts in Terrorism, Safety, and Security.
Each step was a struggle, but also a triumph. I still find academic language difficult.
Registering for university as an adult took me two weeks; I needed every step explained.
This latest diploma was different. It wasn’t just about knowledge – it was about implementation.
I had to apply the techniques to myself before I could use them with others. That meant facing discomfort, fear, and vulnerability. But it also meant growth, insight, and transformation.
I was recently accused of becoming “an academic” and forgetting my roots. I’ll take that any day over the ignorance I once lived with.
During the induction week for the DPP, I spoke with the wonderful Dr Denise Quinlan about the possibility of doing a PhD.
She asked me a powerful question: Who are you doing this for – yourself or others? I paused.
I realised that all my previous studies had been for me. But this next step? It was to prove a point. Maybe even to show off.
So, I won’t be doing a PhD.
Instead, I’ll write one final book, this one on essential communication skills for every challenging situation.
It will be my last personal academic achievement, and I hope it will help as many people as possible.
So, what have I learned?
You don’t have to be an academic to become one.
You don’t have to be perfect to make progress.
And if you apply yourself, you can achieve amazing things.
To anyone who struggles to learn, I see you.