A couple of days ago, I found myself frustrated with technology.
Nothing dramatic, just one of those moments where things wouldn’t work the way they were supposed to.
I didn’t realise my words had become harsher than I intended.
It wasn’t the technology, it wasn’t the lack of internet connection, it wasn’t that I needed to access documents.
It was the pressure underneath it all, the importance of the task, the urgency, the fear of letting someone down.
That’s what was really speaking.
Neuroscience tells us that when stress rises, the brain tries to protect us by reacting fast, too fast.
The amygdala fires before the thinking brain even comes online.
Our tone sharpens, our patience shortens, our focus narrows to the threat, not to the reality.
And suddenly, we’re reacting to something on the surface when the real trigger is sitting quietly underneath.
For me, it wasn’t a glitch in a device – it was the weight of needing that device to work because what I was doing mattered.
I think this happens to all of us more often than we admit.
• We snap at our kids – not because of the spilt juice, but because we’re overwhelmed.
• We get short with a colleague – not because of the question, but because we’re already carrying too much.
• We get frustrated at a small problem – because the bigger problem is sitting in the background, unnoticed.
This is not an excuse; it is a reason.
So, what should we try to do? The true origins of Stoicism had this in mind:
• Pause – stop for a moment.
• Question your thoughts – what is causing me to feel this way?
• Act according to your values – it will be the wrong thing if not aligned with who you are.
• NOT let the emotion guide our action – and that is where I went wrong.
Awareness is powerful; it’s just hard to do in the immediate moment.
Apologise as soon as you can for behaving in a way that is not in line with your desired action, reflect on what happened, and commit to doing better next time.
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It's What Underlies Our Visible Emotion That Matters.