When a Pet Becomes Family – And Then Leaves Us
Lately, I have been seeing numerous posts across all social media platforms about the loss of a pet.
It's the kind of grief that sneaks up on us. They sit beside us in our darkest moments and celebrate with us in our brightest.
They ask for nothing but love, and give it unconditionally.
What makes it even more painful for many of us is that our pets are the ones we can tell everything to without fear of judgment.
Our worries, our secrets, our fears. They listen, and they sit with us. And when they’re gone, it feels like a part of our soul has gone with them.
When we lost our last family pet, George, I wasn’t prepared for the depth of emotion.
The house felt quieter, emptier. I kept expecting to hear the familiar sound of paws, the gentle nudge for attention, the look that said, I’m here, and I love you.
What surprised me most was how raw the grief felt. It wasn’t just sadness, it was heartbreak. It broke us all!
And yet, in that pain, I found something beautiful - the reminder of how deeply we had loved George.
To anyone who’s lost a furry (or feathered or scaled) friend, I see you.
Your pain is real. Your love was real. And your memories are forever.
If you feel comfortable, I’d love to hear about the pet who changed your life.
Let’s honour them together.
And, let’s talk about them!
Communication Strategies
A lot of the stress that we face at work involves difficult communication in some form or another.
Whether it is communicating with challenging customers, handling difficult colleagues, running meetings, or presenting to a large audience, these things all involve communicating.
To have good communication skills, you not only need reasonable grammatical knowledge and confidence, but you also need to control your emotions during these conversations.
To control your emotions, you need to control your thoughts. That is what I learned to do effectively and efficiently as a crisis negotiator. Controlling my thoughts, which controlled my emotions, so that I could quickly and successfully engage with a person in crisis.
Here are a few quick communication tips that may work for you:
👉 Don't say the first thing that comes into your head when emotional because it will always be wrong.
👉 Take a long, slow, deep, quiet breath to control your adrenaline before meetings and during difficult encounters. Breathing out slowly will also reduce your heart rate.
👉 Slow is smooth, smooth is fast. Slow things down so that you remain calm and in control.
👉 Address difficult messages early in conversations. Avoid using the 'praise sandwich' approach, as it can lead to confusion and dilute the impact of important feedback.
👉 Refrain from sending emails when you are emotional. Walk away, grab a glass of water or go for a walk and come back to it when you are feeling calm.
👉 Be quick to apologise if you made an error of judgment in something that you have said or sent.
Let's talk!
Stop For Just A Moment.
Jumped to conclusions. Formed opinions. All based on fragments of information. We’ve all done it.
A diagnosis.
A headline.
A moment of conflict.
But what if we paused? What if we asked more questions? What if we waited for all the facts?
I’ve seen people judged for their actions without anyone knowing the pain behind them.
I’ve felt the sting of being misunderstood, and the relief when someone took the time to truly listen.
Whether it’s a personal struggle, a workplace challenge, or something we see in the media – we owe it to ourselves and to others to seek understanding before judgment.
Pause.
Ask.
Listen.
Learn.
Because compassion begins where assumptions end.
And wisdom starts with knowing we don’t know everything.
Lets’ talk!
We Can Learn To learn!
After 7 years from when I first started, I’ve finally completed my Diploma in Positive Psychology and Well-being (DPP) through the Langley Group Institute and Sue Langley.
It wasn’t easy. In fact, it was one of the most challenging things I’ve ever done.
Not because of the content, but because it required me to look inward, to learn about myself, and to apply what I was learning in real time.
I left high school with no qualifications. Learning was hard for me. I didn’t understand the language, the structure, or the systems.
It wasn’t until I was 35 that I discovered how to learn. And it opened a whole new world, the world of understanding.
Since then, I’ve earned a Diploma in Policing, a Graduate Diploma in Business Studies, and a Master of Arts in Terrorism, Safety, and Security.
Each step was a struggle, but also a triumph. I still find academic language difficult.
Registering for university as an adult took me two weeks; I needed every step explained.
This latest diploma was different. It wasn’t just about knowledge – it was about implementation.
I had to apply the techniques to myself before I could use them with others. That meant facing discomfort, fear, and vulnerability. But it also meant growth, insight, and transformation.
I was recently accused of becoming “an academic” and forgetting my roots. I’ll take that any day over the ignorance I once lived with.
During the induction week for the DPP, I spoke with the wonderful Dr Denise Quinlan about the possibility of doing a PhD.
She asked me a powerful question: Who are you doing this for – yourself or others? I paused.
I realised that all my previous studies had been for me. But this next step? It was to prove a point. Maybe even to show off.
So, I won’t be doing a PhD.
Instead, I’ll write one final book, this one on essential communication skills for every challenging situation.
It will be my last personal academic achievement, and I hope it will help as many people as possible.
So, what have I learned?
You don’t have to be an academic to become one.
You don’t have to be perfect to make progress.
And if you apply yourself, you can achieve amazing things.
To anyone who struggles to learn, I see you.
Ways To Engage With Clients!
I recently ran an online workshop for a New Zealand organisation that deploys staff internationally. The feedback was overwhelming, in the best way.
Not only did participants engage deeply during the session, but many also reached out afterward to share how much it impacted them personally and professionally.
Over time, I’ve refined my approach to workshops. I’ve moved towards creating an experience that can resonate with everyone in the workshop.
Here’s what I’ve learned and what you might consider applying to your own work:
🔹 Know your audience - Before every interaction, research the organisation’s culture, needs, and expectations. Tailoring your delivery starts with understanding who you're speaking to.
🔹 Invite curiosity – I begin by saying, “Don’t believe a word I say.” Most laugh, yet it’s not a joke; it is an invitation to question, explore, and engage. Try opening with something that sparks curiosity.
🔹 Create psychological safety - Make everyone feel welcome, regardless of background or experience. When people feel safe, they participate more fully.
🔹 Draw in the quiet voices - Encourage those who hesitate to speak. Often, their insights are the most profound and will stop the room with their deep thoughts.
🔹 Be responsive, not rigid - I read the room and adjust breaks based on energy levels, not timing. Flexibility shows you’re present and attuned.
🔹 Share tools that work - Introduce simple and effective techniques that bring immediate change. People value what they can use right away.
🔹 Tell real stories - Anecdotes from your own life, particularly those that show vulnerability, build trust and connection.
🔹 Use humour wisely - Appropriate humour lightens the mood and makes learning enjoyable therefore more effective.
🔹 Respect cultural nuances - Adapt your delivery to suit the group’s culture. One size never fits all.
🔹 Facilitate connection - Give people time to talk with you and with each other. That’s where transformation happens.
🔹 End with impact - I wrap up with five key takeaways, a calming breathing technique, and two powerful quotes. Leave them with something to carry forward.
If you run workshops, lead teams, or present in any capacity, consider which of these techniques might work for you.
Because when we connect deeply, we have the opportunity to change lives.
Let’s talk!