A few years ago, I had the privilege of meeting Nigel Latta when we were both speaking at the same conference.

I will always remember him talking to me afterwards about the breathwork I had used in my presentation. He was fascinated by the practical application of it and how something so simple could have such a powerful effect on people.

What struck me most wasn't his intelligence or reputation, although both were obvious; it was his presence.

Over the years we'd often bump into each other at airports. Like me, Nigel usually had his head buried in work, reading something interesting, or watching a video.

Yet whenever we saw each other, he would immediately put everything aside, stop what he was doing and spend time catching up.

No distractions, just genuine interest in another person. In a world that constantly competes for our attention, that is a rare gift.

Nigel spent much of his career helping New Zealanders better understand themselves, their behaviours, their relationships, and what it means to live a meaningful life.

His work translated psychology into something practical, relatable, and human.

I was fortunate to be involved in episode two of the documentary series inspired by his final book, Lessons on Living.

Exactly 12 months after his passing that I recieved an email from the producers, Ruckus Media, advising the publication of this project.

During what felt like a very long interview, John Aiken somehow managed to get me emotional not once, but twice.

The series explores three simple but powerful ideas over three episodes:

Drive the Bus

The space between what happens to us and how we choose to respond.

Focus on the Things You Can Control

Where our attention and energy are best directed when life feels overwhelming.

Teamwork

Belonging, vulnerability, kindness, connection, and ultimately Nigel's belief that the meaning of life comes back to love.

As Nigel often demonstrated through his work, the most important lessons in life are rarely complicated. They are simply difficult to remember when life gets busy, stressful, or uncertain.

Looking back, what I remember most isn't what Nigel knew, it's how he made time for people and how he made them feel.

Perhaps, that was one of the greatest lessons he taught us all.

Lessons on Living launches at 8.30 pm on Wednesday 14 October 2026 on Sky Open, Sky Go, ThreeNow, and Neon.

Thank you, Nigel. New Zealand is better for the conversations you started and for the understanding you helped create.

Let’s talk!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaJ7JS4jEQU

Get It Out Of Your Head!

For years, I thought it was just me.

I'd climb into bed, turn off the light, and then suddenly my brain would decide it was the perfect time to replay the day's events.

A conversation from work, something I should have said, something I shouldn't have said, a problem I hadn't solved, or a situation that felt unfinished.

As someone with undiagnosed ADHD, I assumed this nightly movie marathon was just part of the package. It turns out there's some fascinating research behind it.

Psychologists talk about our tendency to keep thinking about things that feel unresolved. The brain dislikes unfinished business.

When we finally slow down at night, those unfinished thoughts often reappear in one of three forms:
🧠 Rumination - "Why did I say that?"
🧠 Problem Solving - "What should I do tomorrow?"
🧠 Threat Monitoring - "What if this goes wrong?"

The challenge is that our brain doesn't always know the difference between preparing us for tomorrow and keeping us awake until midnight.

Over the years, I've found one simple strategy helps more than almost anything else - get it out of your head before you go to bed.

Talk about it, write about it, read about it or make a plan about it. Don't let it bounce around inside your skull all evening!

When you write things down or talk them through, you're sending your brain an important message: I've noticed this. I've thought about it. I've got a plan. You can stop reminding me now.

Here’s a way of doing it if none of the three earlier solutions worked for you. Answer these three questions:
✅ What happened?
✅ What did you do well?
✅ What would I do next time in the same situation?
✅ Is there anything I can do to minimise what occurred?

Once those questions are answered, the issue moves from being an emotional burden to becoming a task with a plan.

Of course, my brain occasionally ignores all this advice.

At 3 am it still likes to remind me about a conversation I had in 2014 that nobody else remembers, yet at least now I know it's not a personal flaw.

It's just my brain trying very hard to protect me, solve my problems, and prepare me for tomorrow.

The trick is helping it (my brain) realise that tomorrow will still be there after a good night's sleep.

Sometimes the best sleep strategy isn't clearing your mind; it's emptying it out of your head onto paper first.

Let’s talk!

Should I Rest More?

I've spent most of my life believing relaxation was something other people did.

Me, I've got stuff to do.

I've never been known for sitting still. I've always been what I call an active relaxer. Even during a movie, I'll usually get up and find something to do.

I've been around long enough to remember when computers arrived in the workplace, when mobile phones came with battery packs the size of a small suitcase, when colour TV was a novelty, and when our home phone was a party line shared with the neighbours.

For most of those years, my attitude was simple: I'll rest when the job is done.

The problem is that the job is never done.

Recently, though, I've started noticing I may not be as invincible as I once thought.

Then along came our new kitten. For a couple of hours, he tears around the house, creating absolute chaos.

Then, without a hint of guilt, he stretches out and falls fast asleep. A little later, he's fully recharged and ready to do it all again.

Watching that kitten got me thinking.

Why are humans so determined to keep going when every other creature seems to understand the importance of recovery?

Neuroscience suggests that short breaks during the day reduce fatigue and increase energy.

Research has also shown that when we stop focusing on a task, the brain switches into a different mode that helps us process experiences, reflect, and connect ideas. In other words, the brain doesn't stop working when we rest. It simply does different work.

Then there's the power nap.

One well-known NASA study found that pilots who took a short nap improved alertness by 54% and performance by 34%.

For years, many of us have treated recovery as a reward, but the evidence suggests it's actually a requirement.

So perhaps the question isn't: Do I have time to rest? Maybe it's: Can I afford not to?

As for me, I'm still learning!

But now and then I look over at our newest member of the WARN International team, asleep on the office floor after another exhausting morning of being completely unhelpful, and I wonder if the kitten understands performance psychology better than I do.

What about you? Do you rest naturally, or do you need to give yourself permission to slow down?

Let’s talk!

Get Curious.

Having never been shown how to learn or study, I found school very difficult. I could have asked for help, but that did not come naturally to me.

We are all born with curiosity. If we feed our curiosity with information that we want to learn, then learning becomes enjoyable, and we learn more.

When I was shown how to learn, how to remember, and how to put words into a logical order, I was hooked on learning, studying, and writing.

In his book How the Brain Learns, David Sousa describes that we get excited when we learn if learning is fun - we enjoy it, we learn faster, we learn more, and our learning lasts much longer.

The alternative to enjoying what we learn is to have a motivator to work towards. My first diploma was in policing, and my motivation when studying was to qualify as a detective and for promotion.

The detective qualifying course is the most difficult academic course undertaken at the Police College. I did not think it was possible to cram so much information into my brain, yet it happened.

Next on my list was a diploma in business studies. When trawling through the many courses on offer at university, I was drawn to study about learning, in particular adult learning.

It feels selfish looking back now, as it was for me to understand how I learned. Little did I know that I would use this when I started my business to develop programmes for our clients. It was at that point that I became intrigued by the human brain!

Again, being selfish, I chose to undertake a master’s degree in Terrorism, Safety and Security. It was purely to gain promotion within the police and to be an asset. I chose radicalisation as my major, intrigued by how a human brain could be so modified as to want to kill others.

Once more I was able to use that academic achievement in my work today. Despite this qualification being the most challenging of all three, I cannot recall a moment where I wished I'd never started.

All the topics within this qualification – how do people communicate in secret, can a radicalised individual make an atomic weapon, do CCTV and body cameras prevent crime – are just a few of the papers undertaken.

The study for this qualification was enthralling; it was like reading a novel, completely captivating. I couldn't tell you how long it took me to complete each paper; time just flew by.

Interestingly, I can still remember minute details in every one of the papers written for the masters. If you are considering doing any study, study topics that you become lost in.

Only after completing the qualification might you attempt to work out how you can use the qualification in your current work or business. It may not seem applicable currently, but life has a way of bringing things together at some point.

Let’s talk!

You Are Not Alone!

We often hear that adversity builds character.

Why is that? Why must we endure pain, loss, and struggle to truly develop?

Growth rarely comes from comfort. Our brain does not want to remember the comfortable because that is safe; it wants to remember the uncomfortable to keep us safe from harm.

Growth comes from being stretched, challenged, and sometimes broken.

I’ve seen it in crisis negotiations, in trauma recovery and in my own life working through depression.

The most profound transformation often commences in the darkest of places.

When everything familiar falls away, we’re forced to confront who we really are. And that hurts!

Pain teaches empathy. Loss teaches gratitude. Struggle teaches resilience - how to cope with adversity.

However, I don’t believe tough times are meant to be. I don’t believe suffering is necessary; I believe it’s simply part of being human.

Yet when we do go through adversity, we tend to come out knowing.

Knowing what it was like, the effort it took to get us through, and that we're stronger than we thought we were.

Importantly, we now know how to avoid those situations again or manage them differently should we face them.

We can choose to let adversity harden us, or let it shape us into something stronger, wiser, and more empathetic.

If you’re going through a tough time right now, know that you’re not alone, and you’re not broken.

Let’s talk!