For years, I thought it was just me.
I'd climb into bed, turn off the light, and then suddenly my brain would decide it was the perfect time to replay the day's events.
A conversation from work, something I should have said, something I shouldn't have said, a problem I hadn't solved, or a situation that felt unfinished.
As someone with undiagnosed ADHD, I assumed this nightly movie marathon was just part of the package. It turns out there's some fascinating research behind it.
Psychologists talk about our tendency to keep thinking about things that feel unresolved. The brain dislikes unfinished business.
When we finally slow down at night, those unfinished thoughts often reappear in one of three forms:
🧠 Rumination - "Why did I say that?"
🧠 Problem Solving - "What should I do tomorrow?"
🧠 Threat Monitoring - "What if this goes wrong?"
The challenge is that our brain doesn't always know the difference between preparing us for tomorrow and keeping us awake until midnight.
Over the years, I've found one simple strategy helps more than almost anything else - get it out of your head before you go to bed.
Talk about it, write about it, read about it or make a plan about it. Don't let it bounce around inside your skull all evening!
When you write things down or talk them through, you're sending your brain an important message: I've noticed this. I've thought about it. I've got a plan. You can stop reminding me now.
Here’s a way of doing it if none of the three earlier solutions worked for you. Answer these three questions:
✅ What happened?
✅ What did you do well?
✅ What would I do next time in the same situation?
✅ Is there anything I can do to minimise what occurred?
Once those questions are answered, the issue moves from being an emotional burden to becoming a task with a plan.
Of course, my brain occasionally ignores all this advice.
At 3 am it still likes to remind me about a conversation I had in 2014 that nobody else remembers, yet at least now I know it's not a personal flaw.
It's just my brain trying very hard to protect me, solve my problems, and prepare me for tomorrow.
The trick is helping it (my brain) realise that tomorrow will still be there after a good night's sleep.
Sometimes the best sleep strategy isn't clearing your mind; it's emptying it out of your head onto paper first.
Let’s talk!
Get It Out Of Your Head!