Lately, I’ve noticed that I’m having more trouble staying positive.
That’s not something I say lightly, because this is the work I live and breathe. I also know I’m not alone in this. I’m hearing it from people across the wellbeing space.
Many of the traditional tools we’ve relied on for years just aren’t cutting through in the same way anymore.
The world we’re in has changed. There is more uncertainty, more noise, more pressure and more things outside of our control than many of us have ever experienced.
People are saying that they’re waking up feeling flat, tense, tired and pessimistic.
If this sounds familiar, you’re responding normally to an abnormal amount of uncertainty.
The nervous system is doing its job, scanning for threats before the day even begins.
Once that switch is on, it doesn’t turn itself off just because we tell ourselves to think differently.
I’ve had to be honest with myself that distraction, reframing, trying to stay upbeat, or mentally talking myself out of worry isn’t enough right now.
If your body still thinks you’re under threat, your mind will keep generating concern no matter how skilled you are at psychology.
What’s been far more effective for me has been working below the level of thought and directly with my nervous system, particularly re-engaging the parasympathetic system so the brain gets the message that it is safe.
The practice I’ve been using is simple and doesn’t require belief, motivation, or emotional insight.
It takes about ten minutes. I start with slow, resisted breathing, breathing in through my nose and breathing out long and controlled through pursed lips, almost as if I’m fogging a mirror.
That gentle resistance signals to the vagus nerve that the environment is not urgent.
I then use cold on the face, either a splash of cold water or a cool cloth over the cheeks and eyes.
It’s uncomfortable (only for a moment), but it rapidly shifts the nervous system out of fight-or-flight and into regulation.
After that, I step outside if I can and take a slow walk. Letting my arms swing, and my feet feel the ground.
Slow movement is one of the fastest ways to tell the lower brain that there is no need to mobilise for danger.
Finally, instead of asking how to fix everything or stop worrying, I ask myself one question. What needs my energy today, and what doesn’t?
I write one sentence, nothing more. That single question shifts the brain out of threat scanning and into prioritisation, which is where calm decision-making lives.
I’m sharing this because it’s a lonely place in business and leadership, with many people feeling isolated even in very busy lives.
If we don’t actively help our nervous system regulate, it will keep treating the world like a constant emergency. Ten minutes a day won’t solve everything, but it can stop the escalation.
There are practical ways to steady yourself that don’t rely on force, positivity, or distraction.
Let’s talk!
Humility!
The irony isn’t lost on me that I’m writing a post about humility to increase our views!
When people ask me about humility, I instantly recall a biblical passage: 'For those who humble themselves shall be exalted.'
We’re often told we’re wired to win; we are actually wired for survival.
Winning once meant safety, status and belonging. So maybe the need to win a conversation is about protection.
Why do some of us need the last word?
Why do some of us need to be right?
Why does humility sometimes feel like we are losing?
The answers are rarely single-layered.
I don’t believe in personality tests or putting people into boxes. People aren’t types; we are collections of traits shaped by experience, threat, belief and context.
Boxes separate us, traits invite understanding.
Lately, I’ve started paying closer attention to my own behaviours. I am still an angry person when triggered, yet learning to control my reactions.
Same situations, same triggers, yet each time making a different choice.
Airports sometimes trigger me - noisy, long queues at security, invasion of privacy when searching me or my bag, flight delays or cancellations.
I’ve noticed that if I pause, just briefly, and smile, something shifts.
My automatic urge to react drops away, the conversation softens, and oddly, (or maybe not so odd), I tend to get more than I ever thought I would when trying to win.
I pondered, is this real, or am I making it up?
From a neuroscience perspective, it’s very real. That pause creates space.
It allows the threat system to settle and the thinking brain to come back online. Smiling, even if it's intentional, sends signals of safety to ourselves and to others.
When we feel safe, we listen better. When others feel safe, they’re more open.
So does humility always feel like winning in the moment? Not always.
Sometimes it leaves us replaying the conversation later, wondering if we should have said more.
However, humility isn’t a weakness.
Humility is understanding that connection often outperforms control.
Just maybe the real win is in walking away feeling you made a difference, for yourself and for others.
Humility is not losing, humility is not backing away, humility is leaning in and helping understand.
Let's talk!
Small Changes Do make A BIG Difference.
Right now, we are seeing staff across organisations struggling.
The onslaught of change in the world never seems to stop.
To add to that, rising levels of aggression, frustration and emotional intensity from the public. It’s a lot.
Too often, organisations respond by rushing to off-the-shelf training and hoping it sticks.
We do things differently and provide solutions to your requirements.
Before we design anything, we take the time to understand your organisation, your people, and your work groups.
What are the real pressures they’re navigating day to day?
We then build a tailored programme that focuses solely on the challenges you’re actually facing.
No generic content, unnecessary theory, and no trying to change everything.
Instead, we look for what’s already working and ask, ‘What’s going well here and how can we strengthen it?’
Often, it’s small behavioural shifts that create a massive impact in how people communicate and respond under pressure.
Our most sought-after programmes are Managing Change and De-escalation.
They speak to the reality that ALL organisations are living right now.
The assessment, tailoring and development of our programmes come at no cost to you.
Our clients are partners, and we continue to work with clients from 10 years ago, bringing something different each time.
Small changes make a big difference.
For too long, the conversation has focused on what’s going wrong.
We focus on what’s right and how to help it hold, even when everything around it is changing.
Let’s talk!
True Stoicism
We’ve all heard the saying: “The loudest person in the room usually loses.”
But is it true? Or is it just another catchy phrase we repeat without thinking?
When someone raises their voice in an argument, they’re showing their internal state.
The louder we get, the less we think clearly.
The moment we feel threatened (emotionally or physically), the body shifts into a threat-response mode.
Our heart rate increases, our breathing becomes shorter and blood flow moves away from the thinking part of the brain toward our survival systems.
Then, cognitive control drops, our impulse behaviour rises, words get messy, and we say things we don’t mean. The nervous system is overwhelmed.
The loudest person takes the longest to recover.
A raised voice usually means cortisol and adrenaline are surging, which lasts long after the argument ends – sometimes for hours, or sometimes days.
The quiet person who stays calm actually has the advantage as their physiology stays in a state where they can still think, listen and respond.
The loudest person isn't always wrong, but they are dysregulated.
Being loud doesn’t mean someone has poor intentions.
It may mean they feel unheard or attacked, they don’t have the tools to regulate emotion, they learned early on that volume equals safety, or the big one - they’ve been carrying hurt they haven’t spoken about.
Volume is a symptom.
This is where true Stoicism enters. Genuine Stoicism is the ability to:
🙏 Stay grounded when others rise.
🙏 See your emotion without being controlled by it.
🙏 Pause long enough to respond instead of reacting immediately.
🙏 Protect your peace.
The quiet person wins because they’re regulated.
In a world where people are overwhelmed, overstimulated, and often carrying invisible pain, the most powerful thing you can bring to any conflict is a controlled nervous system.
The next time you feel angered:
🧠 Pause – give yourself time to think.
🧠 Question your thoughts – are you acting or simply reacting?
🧠 Respond according to your values – most of us have a value of respect, caring or family.
🧠 Be mindful – other people matter.
That’s true Stoicism – controlling our emotions rather than letting our emotions control us.
Let’s talk!
Don't Let The Old Man (Person) In!
I’ve noticed that my body hurts more and for longer these days.
And I seem to be more tired than I once was. Old age, I tell myself.
At 68, four hours’ sleep and two hamburgers no longer get me through the day.
But the thing is, I’ve realised this discomfort and fatigue is not a signal to stop.
Clint Eastwood, now 95, once said to Toby Keith at a charity golf tournament: “Don’t let the old man in.”
Those words resonated for me. They’re not about pretending to be young; they’re about refusing to surrender when your body tries to negotiate an early retirement.
If we continue doing the things we did when we were younger, such as strength training, walking fast, challenging ourselves mentally, and staying socially connected, our brains strengthen.
You know this, but here’s the latest research to support it.
A 2025 meta‑analysis of 4,349 adults aged 60+ found that:
🧠 Resistance training delivered the biggest boost to overall cognitive function.
🧠 Mind–body practices (like Tai Chi or yoga) significantly improved executive function and working memory.
🧠 Aerobic exercise enhanced memory - the thing so many fear losing.
A National Institute on Ageing study showed that even small improvements in fitness significantly increased myelin, the brain’s communication wiring, particularly after age 40.
That means sharper thinking, faster processing and better resilience against decline.
Across 130,000+ older adults in international ageing studies, those who stayed active were dramatically more likely to maintain a high, stable trajectory of health over 10 years.
Movement shifted the entire path upward.
Strength training, in particular, remains one of the strongest protectors against frailty, bone loss, and loss of independence as we age.
A remarkable 2026 Yale study of 11,000 older adults found that nearly half improved physically or cognitively over 12 years.
And the biggest predictor of improvement? Their mindset about ageing.
Those who believed ageing could include growth were the ones who actually grew.
What this means is the tiredness you feel, the soreness you wake up with, and the days your body whispers to you, ‘skip the gym,’ aren’t signs of decline.
Those are the moments when the research says that if you keep going, you win.
If you move, lift, stretch, breathe, connect and challenge yourself, you push the ‘old person’ back outside the door.
Although your body is tired, sore, complaining, or making excuses, it is still capable of extraordinary things when you give it the chance.
Keep moving, keep learning, keep pushing.
Your future self will thank you.
Let’s talk!