Is it anger you are feeling ...or could it be grief, sadness, confusion, stress, frustration or even hunger (hangry)?
Keep this in mind next time you see someone angry, or if you are experiencing anger yourself!
Workplace Violence!
When I first heard the term workplace violence, I thought it meant violence between colleagues. That’s just how my brain works; I take things literally.
But it’s not that.
Workplace violence is violence against staff from the public. And it’s happening more often than we care to admit.
Let’s be clear - workplace violence is unnecessary, it’s unacceptable, it’s abhorrent, and it must be eliminated.
We all get angry at times. We all feel aggrieved on occasion. But most of us don’t resolve our frustrations with violence.
We talk, we listen, we find a way through.
Yet for some reason, when violence happens in a workplace, particularly to frontline workers, people say, “It’s just part of their job.”
It isn’t!
Adding the word workplace doesn’t soften the blow. It doesn’t make it okay.
Violence is violence, and it must be called out, addressed, and dealt with appropriately and legally.
In the work we do at WARN International, we support those who face the public every day – local and district council staff, government employees, emergency responders, health workers, social service teams, road crews, and many more.
Yes, some people only know one way to express themselves, through aggression. While a reason, it’s not an excuse.
We all must:
* Educate the public about respectful engagement.
* Empower staff to report incidents without fear.
* Support leaders to take action, not just file a report.
* Involve the police - because violence is a crime and not a workplace hazard.
Psychological safety starts with physical safety, and physical safety starts with zero tolerance for violence.
Every person deserves to feel safe at work.
Let’s talk!
How To Lift Your Mood!
The other day, after four intense days of work, I found myself sitting in my car, mentally preparing for a full day with the Timaru District Council.
I was tired, so incredibly tired. But I have a process I go through to lift myself to bring full energy and motivation.
A few slow, deep diaphragmatic breaths, a shift in mindset by imagining the feeling of engaging with the audience, and a reminder to always bring my best for every event.
As I stepped out of the vehicle, someone spotted me across the car park. He walked over, beaming.
I remembered him from my last visit; he was always smiling. Radiating boundless energy.
We chatted, and I asked him, “Where does all that energy come from? You are always so happy?”
He simply said, “There’s always something to be happy about if you look for it.” As simple as that!
Our conversation lifted my energy levels more than any motivational technique ever could.
What struck me during both workshops that day was how my own energy was now boundless.
I felt genuinely happy and at times, even moved to tears when recounting heartwarming anecdotes.
It made me wonder: What’s happening in our brains when we experience these moments?
When we are happy, are we more emotional, more energised, more positive.
Here’s what neuroscience tells us:
🧠 Emotions are processed in the limbic system. While the amygdala is often associated with fear and threat, it also lights up with positive emotions such as joy, gratitude, and connection.
🧠 Positive emotions trigger the release of neurotransmitters like dopamine and oxytocin. These chemicals don’t just make us feel good – they enhance our focus, creativity and even our immune system.
🧠 When we experience genuine happiness, our brains become more sensitive to all emotions. The amygdala also heightens our awareness of joy, empathy, and can bring tears to our eyes from that joy.
🧠 Connection is contagious. When someone shares their positive energy, our mirror neurons fire, allowing us to feel and catch their mood. One person’s smile can literally change the chemistry of another’s brain.
Yes, without a doubt, when we choose to look for the good, we’re not only changing our mindset, but we are also rewiring our brains.
We are boosting our energy and opening ourselves up to deeper, more meaningful experiences.
To the person who reminded me that “there’s always something to be happy about”, thank you.
You didn’t just lift my spirits, you reminded me of the incredible power we all have to change someone’s day - and potentially their brain, all with a single moment of kindness.
Let’s talk!
Disagreements Are More Difficult Than Emergencies For Most Of Us!
Why do we lose our cool more in disagreements than emergencies?
We recently ran a survey on LinkedIn asking: “What do you find more difficult: staying calm in an emergency or staying calm in a disagreement?”
The results were striking:
Staying calm in an emergency: 5%
Staying calm in a disagreement: 81%
Both are equally challenging: 14%
Emergencies often trigger action, something positive to work on, whereas disagreements trigger emotion, and emotion is harder to manage.
Think of a time when someone challenged your opinion in a meeting. Or when a loved one said something that hit a nerve. Or when a colleague dismissed your idea without explanation.
These moments don’t require physical action; they require emotional regulation, and that’s where a lot of us struggle.
Here’s what we teach to stay calm in disagreements:
1. Do not respond immediately - Reacting quickly locks in your response. It’s called anchoring bias; the brain remembers your first reaction and defaults to it when triggered again. Instead, pause first to act with intention.
2. Breathe out before responding - This simple act lowers your voice, slows your speech, and gives your brain time to think. It’s a reset button.
3. Ask a question - If you’re unsure what to say, shift the focus: “What just happened?” “What went wrong?”
This gives the other person control, helps you gather information, and buys you time.
Then, validate their experience. Validation isn’t agreement; it’s an acknowledgment of what they just said or their situation.
“That must be frustrating.”
“That should never have happened.”
“I’d be confused too.”
It shows empathy and lowers defensiveness.
Use inclusive language. Instead of “I’ll see what I can do,” say “Let’s see what we can do.”
It’s subtle, but it shifts the dynamic from me vs. you to us working together.
Finally, follow their lead, let them do all the talking. You respond. You guide. You stay calm.
This works. I promise.
It takes practice; you won’t get it perfect the first few times. Yet each time you pause, breathe out, ask, validate, and include – you are rewiring your brain to act rather than react.
Let’s talk!
We See Things Through our Own Eyes!
Everyone has an opinion about everything.
Some keep their thoughts to themselves, others express them politely, and a few will let everyone know exactly what they think - sometimes done in ways that upset others, whether intentionally or not.
As crisis negotiators, we are trained to see the world from the other person’s perspective.
To do this, we explore their thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Not by interrogating, but by asking open questions.
And we never ask “why.” For why is a blame word. Instead, we ask, “What is the reason?” That small shift opens doors.
Every organisation is limited by the knowledge and experiences of those within it. This can restrict their ability to respond efficiently and effectively.
When I was in the New Zealand Police, I was selected to oversee the practical application of the witness protection programme.
I was excited as this was a sought-after role. But I was also nervous. These were specialist operators, a small group of elite personnel, always armed, always on alert.
I didn’t know how they did their job, so I started asking questions: “Why do you do this? Why do you do that?” Coming from my previous role with Professional Standards, the unit that oversees police conduct, I was met with suspicion.
One officer even told me he thought I was a plant, sent to catch them out.
So, I changed my approach. I stopped asking “why” and started asking, “What is the reason?”
Suddenly, the purpose of my questions became clear. They opened up, sharing the rationale behind their methods.
I offered alternative ideas, and together we explored new ways of doing things.
Sometimes they’d explain why a change wouldn’t work; other times, they’d see a better way forward.
This new lens, this willingness to look at things differently, motivated them to keep asking themselves, “Is there a better way?”
We are all limited by our own knowledge and experiences. Organisations are no different.
We rely on policies and procedures to keep us safe and shield us from criticism. But this can reinforce the idea that our way is the only way, and everyone else is wrong.
If you’re stuck, reacting instead of acting, or quick to judge, take a moment to seek someone else’s perspective.
You might find a solution. You might find a better way. You might even find that you were wrong.
Try looking at things through a kaleidoscope, using as many lenses as possible.
You just never know what you might discover.
Let’s talk!