When it seems that everyone else is fast asleep, we lie awake.
Nighttime can be lonely for those who cannot sleep. Demons tend to come in the dark because of the quiet during the night.
I have always been a worrier and never a warrior. I picked it up from my mother, she had a big heart and always worried about everything.
At the age of 16 I hardly slept, barely getting enough sleep to get by. Alcohol and substance abuse to try and get to sleep.
Medication is never the solution; it only adds to the unwanted cycle of worry and despair.
Fast forward 30 years, and, once again, sleep evaded me as I dove into depression. Self-medication was the automatic default.
Lying awake at nighttime is desperately lonely, for you are the only one who is suffering. Yet, there are many others who struggle to sleep; you are not as alone as you think.
Fast forward to the present. Sleep still evades me on occasion, particularly when hit by a setback.
Having studied sleep and trialed many methods of getting to sleep, we have compiled a document on how to achieve a better night's sleep. It is yours free of charge, available on our website.
For me, the number one way of dealing with a sleepless night is to accept it, accept that I will have a sleepless night.
Acceptance brings an anchor. The night will be a roller-coaster of high anxiety and, on occasion, calmness. And that is where I find sanctuary.
Remember this - if you are struggling with sleep, know you will get through the night. It is just your thoughts keeping you awake, and those thoughts cannot hurt us unless we allow them to; they are ours to control.
Become a warrior and work through your thoughts until you find calm.
The sun will come up, and you can now work on what's actually worrying you, not what you thought was worrying you.
Let’s talk!
Workplace Culture!
We talk a lot about positive culture in workplaces, but what does that actually mean?
Culture doesn’t just come from a vision, a mission statement, or a list of values.
Nor is it a morning tea, a team-building day, or a celebration of success.
It’s how people behave when no one’s watching, how we respond under pressure, and how we treat each other when things go wrong.
At WARN International, we approach culture through the lens of neuroscience and behavioural awareness.
A truly positive culture starts with individuals understanding their own triggers, emotional responses, and patterns of behaviour.
You can’t dictate culture, but you can promote it, model it, and call out poor practices when they arise.
So how do we change culture?
Here are 5 practical steps we use to build inclusive, engaging, and resilient teams:
1. Name it to tame it - Teach people to recognise their emotional triggers and to control them.
2. Model micro-moments of safety – Culture changes through small, consistent actions. A calm tone, a genuine check-in, or a pause before reacting can rewire team dynamics.
3. Call out the behaviour, not the people – Use language that separates the person from the action. This promotes accountability without shame and encourages growth over defensiveness.
4. Create space for genuine conversations – Psychological safety isn’t built in meetings; it is built in moments of vulnerability. Make room for people to speak up, share ideas, and to admit mistakes.
5. Reward the right things – Recognise behaviours that align with your values, not just performance outcomes. What gets rewarded gets repeated.
Culture isn’t a one-off initiative. It’s a living system, a moving phenomenon, a continuous process.
Culture is largely about people’s behaviour; it is the biggest driver.
Change the behaviour to change the culture, one small step at a time, just as we do when changing our own behaviour.
Let’s talk!
Write It Down!
During a presentation last week for Survey & Spatial, someone shared that they’d been told not to write lists.
They were told that remembering tasks keeps the brain active.
It made me pause. For me, writing things down doesn’t make me lazy or forgetful - it makes me free.
Free of the brain loop, free of unnecessary information, free to think of other things.
Neuroscience backs this up.
Writing by hand with a pen activates multiple brain regions, including the hippocampus, visual cortices, and frontal areas. More so than typing or trying to remember.
Writing boosts memory encoding, comprehension, and even creativity.
In fact, writing is a form of external cognition; it offloads mental clutter so your brain can focus on what matters.
When we write, we engage in a deeper cognitive process. We summarise, reflect, and connect.
That’s why ideas often pop into our heads while writing. The act itself stimulates the brain’s default mode network, the part responsible for imagination and spontaneous thought.
Writing down goals, vividly and intentionally, increases the likelihood of achieving them by up to 40%.
Why? Because writing triggers the generation effect, where we remember and act on things we’ve created ourselves.
As part of my positive psychology studies, I wrote down a simple intention: Spend more time with people and take a genuine interest.
As an introvert, this was uncomfortable. But something changed recently, and I found myself asking someone I’ve known for years what they were up to.
They looked surprised and asked, “Why are you asking what I am up to?”
That moment hit me, I realised I’d been unconsciously connecting with people. Not because I was forcing it, but because I’d written it down.
Writing helps us:
* Reduce cognitive load and stress.
* Spark creativity and insight.
* Improve focus and comprehension.
* Achieve goals through deeper encoding.
* Feel progress through dopamine hits when we tick things off.
So yes, write. Write the list, write the goal, write the intention.
And maybe, just maybe, you’ll discover something about yourself you didn’t know was there.
Let’s talk and let’s write!
Burnout!
It was burnout that started my decline into depression, a major contributor.
For me, it felt like a heavy weight pushing me down when I first woke up. No energy to get out of bed, and yet, I had to.
There were people waiting for me, there were people needing me.
The self-talk starts – “You always had energy, you could always be relied upon. Be a man, harden up, what is wrong with you?”
"I can do this, I can push myself to get out of bed, I can push myself to go back to work, I can push myself however far you need me to be," became my response.
What does burnout feel like? It is lonely, isolating, overwhelming, debilitating, and something you can't just snap out of. You can push as hard as you want, but you can never get that energy back.
But still, you have to keep going, that is, until something breaks - and you feel powerless.
The biggest contributor to workplace burnout is a feeling of loss of control over your workload, which causes chronic stress.
I was told I was unable to take leave due to ‘operational requirements’ -and this continued until I had accrued seven months of annual leave.
The stream of files that needed to be investigated, as each one had a victim or victims who rightfully needed an outcome.
The mandated training, the files for court, the covert operations, the special events, the media interviews… and so it goes.
How will you know if you are suffering from burnout? You will know.
Common signs of burnout include feelings of no control, difficulty getting out of bed, feeling disengaged and cynical at work, a lack of satisfaction with your job, being less productive, difficulty concentrating for long periods, and no energy whatsoever.
If you have the opportunity, take a few days off work, do so, and see how you feel. Just taking a complete break over the weekend as much as you can may be helpful.
If resting helps and you are feeling in control, then you might just be fatigued. If you have any of the above signs and are unable to sleep, please speak with a specialist - a GP is a good place to start.
It may seem selfish of you to rest, that's how it felt for me. It is not selfish; rest is a necessary part of revitalisation. We are not robots.
As for work, if you are unable to negotiate your workload with your boss, leave a copy of this post on their desk. I am happy to take their phone call or email.
Let's talk!
Managing Tough Times!
A job we didn’t get. A relationship that didn’t work out. A goal we didn’t reach. A ...
How often do we set expectations, whether on ourselves, on others, or on outcomes, only to feel let down by the outcome.
Disappointment is a quiet type of grief, more so if we had an emotional expectation with it.
And it brings along its friends – anger, denial, regret, guilt, fear, sadness - sometimes feeling all at once.
Neuroscience shows us that disappointment activates the same regions of the brain as physical pain.
The brain doesn’t distinguish much between a broken bone and a broken heart.
Thankfully, we can train our brains to handle disappointment better.
Nothing changes from dealing with other forms of grief or when managing any dramatic situation.
1. Name the emotion - label what you feel. “I’m disappointed,” “I feel let down,” “I am hurt.” This reduces activity in the amygdala.
2. Practice self-compassion – Instead of asking ‘What’s wrong with me?’ ask ‘What happened?’ Treat yourself like you would a friend, this releases oxytocin and calms stress.
3. Reframe what happened - Disappointment often comes from unmet expectations. Don’t think of what happened as a failure, just a redirection of the expectation. This helps us move from rumination to resilience.
4. Breathe, breathe, breathe – Slow, deep breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, calming the body and mind.
5. Connect – Disappointment makes us want to isolate; connection heals. Talk to someone, share your story, listen as others share theirs.
Whether it’s the sting of rejection, the ache of unmet goals, or the heartbreak of betrayal, disappointment is part of life.
And so is hope, so is growth, so is the ability to rise again.
If you’re feeling disappointed today, know that you are not alone, you are not broken, and this moment doesn’t define who you are.
As with everything, good or bad - let’s talk!