Some people just like to argue, regardless of what you tell them.
There are several ways to manage this type of person. The best way I have found is to make it all about them, more than you would with others. Use sentences like "You make a great point" or "I can see where you are coming from."
The difficulty arises when you can't actually help them. For example, company policy means you can't do what the customer is asking of you.
Honesty is the best policy but with an explanation as to why. I call it 'the reason for the reason'.
Policies are developed for two reasons;
- To protect the company
- To protect the customer
Often we will say, "I'm sorry but I can't do what you are asking because it is our company policy". You know what the customer hears when we say this - "We have rules for situations like this and I can't change them".
Try explaining to the customer why the policies are in place, to protect them.
Something like, "Lance, I apologise that I cannot do any more for you. We value our customers and have policies in place which are designed to protect everyone".
Finish off the conversation by giving the customer something that they can take away, it need not be tangible although this would be more helpful. It could be as simple as “What I am going to do is to mention your situation to my supervisor as you raise a valid point”.
Always do what you say you are going to and don’t over-promise. Under-promise and over-deliver.
The bottom line, sometimes people will need a reality check!
Let's talk!
Majoritarianism!
Majoritarianism is the idea that the majority rules, but what happens to those left behind?
It can leave us with feelings of isolation, invisibility, frustration, resentment, and thus a lack of motivation.
Growing up with challenges in learning, no meaningful friendships and poor socialisation skills, I retain a small insight to how that can feel.
I often believed I didn’t belong!
I know I'm not the only one; many of us have felt that way for a variety of reasons.
Belonging happens when we feel truly seen, when we're accepted as we are, and not when we’re trying to match the expectations around us.
We live in a world that often celebrates the loudest, the strongest, the most popular.
But real strength lies in listening to the quiet voices, and the ones who have experienced adversity.
If you’ve ever felt like the minority – whether in thought, background, or belief - know this: your perspective matters.
A strong culture is one where every voice is heard and valued. That's when we all win.
Have you ever felt like the odd one out? What helped you find your place?
Let’s talk!
Do Tough Times Build Character?
We often hear that adversity builds character.
That may be so, yet why must lessons be so difficult to remember - we seem to repeat them.
And why is it that we must endure pain, loss, and struggle to truly develop?
It’s uncomfortable to admit, but growth rarely comes from comfort.
Our brain does not want to remember the comfortable because that is safe; it wants to remember the uncomfortable to keep us safe from harm.
Growth comes from being stretched, challenged, and sometimes broken.
I’ve seen it in crisis negotiations, in trauma recovery and in my own life working through depression.
The most profound transformation often commences in the darkest of places.
Lessons are not learned in our darkest moments; it is the start of our transformation.
When everything familiar falls away, we’re forced to confront who we really are. And that hurts!
Pain teaches empathy. Loss teaches gratitude. Struggle teaches resilience - how to cope with adversity.
However, I don’t believe tough times are meant to be. I don’t believe suffering is necessary; I believe it’s simply part of being human.
Yet when we do go through adversity, we tend to come out knowing.
Knowing what it was like, knowing the effort it took to get us through, knowing we are stronger than we thought we were.
Importantly, we now know how to avoid those situations again or manage them differently should we face them.
We can choose to let adversity harden us, or we can let it shape us into something stronger, wiser and more empathetic.
So, if you’re going through a tough time right now, know this: You’re not alone. You’re not broken. You’re becoming.
What’s one challenge that changed you for the better?
Let’s talk!
You Are Not your Thoughts!
To my friend who is going through a rough patch - Y ou are not your thoughts
Self-compassion is not about letting yourself off the hook or ignoring areas for learning. It's about managing yourself with the same empathy and care that you would offer to others.
Why Am I So Stupid!
Why Am I So Stupid?
It’s a question many of us ask ourselves.
In my workshops, I talk about how we speak to ourselves more than we speak to anyone else. And yet, the voice inside is often our harshest critic.
We beat ourselves up over mistakes. We worry endlessly. We feel like an imposter, even when we’re doing well.
We put ourselves under pressure that no one else would dare to apply.
Yet here’s the truth - this inner critic is designed to protect us. Our brains are hardwired to survive, not for happiness.
At the core of this wiring is the brain stem, the oldest part of the brain. Its job is simple, to keep us alive.
It scans for danger, reacts instantly, and doesn’t care about nuance. It’s where the fight, flight, or freeze response lives. And it’s always switched on.
When we experience stress, the brain stem kicks in before our rational brain (the prefrontal cortex) even has a chance to weigh in. That’s why we spiral into negative thoughts so quickly; it is a reaction, not an action.
Neuroscience shows that negative thinking is sticky. It activates the amygdala, floods us with cortisol, and shuts down the parts of the brain responsible for logic, empathy, and creativity. It’s a loop that’s hard to break because it’s designed to be hard to break.
Worse still, our brains have a negativity bias – we remember criticism more than praise, fear more than joy. This bias was useful when danger lurked around every corner. But today, it means we’re constantly fighting ourselves.
So, how do we stop this cycle?
We don’t fight it, we retrain it:
🧠 Mindfulness can help us notice the spiral before it takes over.
💬 Self-compassion calms the brain stem and activates the soothing system.
🧩 Cognitive reframing rewires the neural pathways, replacing fear with fact.
You’re not stupid.
You’re not broken.
You’re human, with a brain that’s doing its best to keep you safe.
Start communicating with yourself like you matter, because you do.
Let’s talk!