We often hear that adversity builds character.
That may be so, yet why must lessons be so difficult to remember - we seem to repeat them.
And why is it that we must endure pain, loss, and struggle to truly develop?
It’s uncomfortable to admit, but growth rarely comes from comfort.
Our brain does not want to remember the comfortable because that is safe; it wants to remember the uncomfortable to keep us safe from harm.
Growth comes from being stretched, challenged, and sometimes broken.
I’ve seen it in crisis negotiations, in trauma recovery and in my own life working through depression.
The most profound transformation often commences in the darkest of places.
Lessons are not learned in our darkest moments; it is the start of our transformation.
When everything familiar falls away, we’re forced to confront who we really are. And that hurts!
Pain teaches empathy. Loss teaches gratitude. Struggle teaches resilience - how to cope with adversity.
However, I don’t believe tough times are meant to be. I don’t believe suffering is necessary; I believe it’s simply part of being human.
Yet when we do go through adversity, we tend to come out knowing.
Knowing what it was like, knowing the effort it took to get us through, knowing we are stronger than we thought we were.
Importantly, we now know how to avoid those situations again or manage them differently should we face them.
We can choose to let adversity harden us, or we can let it shape us into something stronger, wiser and more empathetic.
So, if you’re going through a tough time right now, know this: You’re not alone. You’re not broken. You’re becoming.
What’s one challenge that changed you for the better?
Let’s talk!
Do Tough Times Build Character?