Are You Ready For 2017?

Welcome to 2017. I love the beginning of the year as I look at what I want to achieve across the next 12 months. And I relish the opportunity that each new day brings.

Here's 10 tips that I have learned from successful people about how to get the most out of the year to achieve all that you want to achieve;

1. Stay true to yourself - first and foremost you must stay true to yourself. Stick rigidly to your own values, to your ethics, and to your beliefs. Don't allow others to influence these core cornerstones, stay strong and true.
2. Be flexible - while it is good to have a set of goals or a business plan to guide you and help you 'stay the course', you should also be flexible with your goals and plans. Richard Branson said it very well, "If someone asks if you can do something, say yes, then figure it out."
3. Take it one step at a time - you have your plan, your big picture, the goal of what you want to achieve. Now break it down into smaller steps and work on each step one step at a time. Every now and then look up to your plan but don't let it overawe you, only look up to see how far you have come then go back to the small step. Importantly, take that first step.
4. Maintain control of your thoughts - do not allow your brain to control your negative thoughts. We all need to worry, that's what keeps us safe. The problem is that we worry about the wrong things. Worry has been triggered by something necessary so write it down and work out what it is that underlies your worry to find the answer. Additionally, don't let jealousy creep in when you see someone getting ahead or doing something similar to what you do. Use that as motivation to do better.
5. Surround yourself with good people - look to those who have been there before you and use their experience and wisdom. Talk to them about your fears, your problems, and your worries. Collaboration is the key to success in 2017, work with others to advance each other. A word of caution on this one, take care that you choose the right people to surround yourself with. In business, strong ethics is important.
6. Learn and develop - you have to look after yourself first before you can look after others. Keep yourself up to date with the latest trends, the latest research, and the newest methods. Professional development is imperative in today's ever-changing world. Successful people train all three key areas - physical, academic and mental skills. Keep fit, study for academic qualifications and work on your mental skills associated with the thought process.
7. Keep going - perseverance is often the key. History shows us that many success stories have come from those who kept going no matter what the setback or adversity they faced. Mistakes happen, keep going. Review your goals and plans every so often to see if they remain relevant if you aren't achieving what you set out to do.
8. Believe in 'you' - Research reveals that many successful people often do not believe that they should be where they are today. They remain full of self-doubt and hold a fear that they might be found out as a fraud. This is natural. Believe in yourself and that you are where you are today because of your skills and that you are where you are today because others believed in you. You've got this!
9. Give it everything - fully commit yourself to achieve your goals or plans. "The harder I work the luckier I get" is a good mantra. Being fully committed will help to reduce self-doubt, will control your negative thoughts, and will provide the greatest opportunity for success.
10. Get the balance right - we all need to rest, to take time out, to refocus and reassess, to stay grounded. Take time off and away from your business whenever you need to. There are no hard-and-fast rules, be guided by what you 'feel' is right. There are negative consequences for working too hard; loss of enjoyment, loss of family, loss of friends, and ultimately burnout. There is little point in doing all of the above to succeed if you fall at the last hurdle from overwork.

I wish you the very best for 2017. What this year brings for you in your career or business is up to you. Make it a great year.

The Influence of Social Media.

The rise of social media has been phenomenal over recent times. I suggest more so than anyone could have predicted. Evidence is overwhelming that social media has a strong influence on us all, both positively and negatively.

Dopamine, a neurotransmitter that helps control our reward and pleasure system, is released when we use social media in certain ways. It gives us pleasure when we write something and others like it, just like I am doing now.

Dopamine is also released into our brain when we read something that resonates with us and can strongly influence our behaviour.

Social media is a wonderful tool that allows us to make contact with people instantly anywhere in the world. We can also use social media to inform and to educate, we can view and what our friends and family are doing, we can even buy products through social media.

The majority of people use social media with respect, for the most part anyway. We know which sources of information to trust and we know to search other sources to confirm what we have just viewed or read to confirm the veracity of the article if we have doubt.

The majority of us also know that if we use social media too much it can be detrimental to our mental well-being. For some however, this is not the case. For some, everything that they read IS the truth and influences their thoughts, views, and behaviour.

By example, just seven years ago when I studied radicalisation, young people who were feeling disaffected and disconnected would seek out information in a hope of finding a solution to their social disconnection. Once they identified what they thought was a solution to their dilemma, they sought people of similar minds to interact with.

Young disaffected people would go to their mosque, to university, to gymnasiums, to any place where people of similar dispositions would congregate. For the majority of those disaffected people, they would find salvation through human social connections.

To become fully radicalsied only a few years ago, there had to be human-to-human connection. This is no longer the case. Some people, the younger ones in particular, can be strongly influenced by what they read and view on social media.

Those who regulate social media have an obligation. They have an obligation to regulate and control what is distributed on their platform. If an editor of a newspaper allowed fictitious or inappropriate material to be printed, they would be held to account. The obligations on social media moderators is no different in my opinion.

Articles posted on social media should be done so with the mindset that the article WILL strongly influence the reader.

Allowing videos of people committing suicide to be uploaded, viewed and distributed on social media is one such posting that is not only abhorrent, it has the ability to influence those who may be in a similar disposition as the person in the video.

It is said that there is a fine line between freedom of speech and overbearing control. In my opinion this is an argument always used when inappropriate material is aired in a public forum. It is an argument used by those who push the boundaries of decency and respect.

In a medium that has been shown to strongly influence others, there needs to be strong control.

Miscommunication Across The Generations - My Personal View.

There is no doubt that older generations sometimes have difficulty understanding younger generations when communicating with them, and vice versa. Communication style and the words that we use has changed dramatically over the last 30 years due to advances in technology, mobile phones being the primary culprit.

With the advent of text messaging in the early 1990's, we were restricted in how many words we could use in our message. Plus, we had to strike the #1 button three times to reach the letter 'C' then we had to wait for the cursor to move forward before we entered the next character.

This resulted in our words becoming abbreviated and our sentences much shorter which then carried across into our verbal communication.

As technology advanced, we no longer had to meet with people; we could now send them messages in the form of an email, video, photo, shorter message, emoticon and GIF file to express what we might previously have said face-to-face or on the phone. We still have a phone with us but would now much rather send them our message in electronic format.

As each generation was born, the uptake on electronic communications was swift resulting in reduced face-to-face interaction and the inability to learn acceptable social skills such as seeking clarification if there is a misunderstanding.

Other social skills such as your-turn-my-turn, debating, appropriately challenging what was said, and and showing facial expressions all diminished.

A small number of the experienced generation continued with their existing communication style and words, some of which are no longer acceptable in today's world. I am one of these experienced generation and sometimes say inappropriate things unconsciously because it was acceptable when I was learning and growing up. It is not until it is brought to my attention that I realise what I had said was inappropriate. This, for me, is a lifelong habit which is often hard to break.

The fault in miscommunication across the generations rests with us all, regardless of our generation, but mostly it rests with the older generation. Most of the younger generation do not like face-to-face communication conflict. Instead, they would rather express their frustrations later on, often through social media.

What we, as the experienced generation, once said to each other which was appropriate is now rightly considered to be viewed as bullying, racist, sexist, homophobic, etc. We, the older generation, need to change the words that we use and the way that we express ourselves.

It's not political correctness, it is just correctness.

Furthermore, it is incumbent upon us as the 'experienced' generation to educate the younger generation on how to communicate appropriately when they wish to seek clarification or to challenge what was said. It is up to us as the experienced communicators to show the younger generations the many benefits of communicating face-to-face in a manner which is non-confrontational.

Not all blame can be laid at the feet of the experienced generation. Younger generations need to change what they say and the way in which they say it. Mostly, they need to spend more time talking with people face-to-face and not electronically.

The only way that we can bring the generations together to avoid generational miscommunication is to talk more. Let's talk more.

Judge Me Not, Life Happens.

You might think that you know someone, please know that you do not, no matter how long or how close you have known them. We sometimes look at someone and think "I know you, you are this type of person so I will put you in this box". Or we might think "Why can't I be like you", for whatever reason that might be.

We often judge people on looks, not consciously, subconsciously. That's how we once survived, wary of danger.

Each of us is the same yet very different. We are born into the human race, and apart from some genetic differences, for the most part we are all the same. And then 'life' happens - we each grow up with different experiences, having different emotions, and learning different lessons.

No matter who you are - from a rough sleeper to a CEO, from a cleaner to a senior manager, from a corporate leader to a student - we are all the same yet slightly different.

What got us to where we are today, life. What made us different, life. What makes each of us special, life.

Some of us were privileged and born into greatness while others were born into hardship. Some of us experience good fortune while others never seem to make any headway no matter how hard we work. Some of us are lucky while others not quite so much. Some of us got through life unscathed while others of us suffered great tragedy.

Yet we are all humans, the same but different, because of life.

When you first see me, please don't judge me, please don't think that you know me, please don't put me into 'that box'. Please stop and take the time to ask me about me. Talk to me, find out about me while I find out about you. Often, we will be thinking the same thing, other times not quite the same, but by talking we will now know what the other is thinking.

Please don't judge me for who you think that I am, because I am not that person. I am me and there is no other like me. And that's because of life.

I do not need your sympathy, your empathy, your compassion, or your pity. I do not need your adoration, your praise, your applause, or your promotion. I simply need you to listen and to learn about me.

I ask you to have an open mind without judging me. I need you to talk with me, as one human being to another on an equal footing. Then, and only then, will know me. Then I give you permission to judge me.

I wish I had known then what I know now. Let's talk more.

Why Do Bad Things Happen At Festive Times?

As this is my last post for 2016 I want to encourage you to focus on the positives over the festive season and beyond.

Over the last few days I have been contacted by those who have had some form of tragedy in their life. The usual question is "Why do bad things always happen at Christmas". The simple fact is they don't, bad things happen every day. It's just that Christmas, and other festive occasions such as birthdays, New Year, etc., are a marker on which to place the tragedy.

Ask any emergency service worker what it is like to work on a night shift when there is a full moon, they may tell you that it is busier than any other night. Numerous studies however indicate that this is not the case. What I can tell you is that the jobs we attended during a full moon were strange therefore it felt like there was more of them.

Bad things happen. When they do we look as to why and often there is a cause that we wished we had seen coming. "If only" we tell ourselves.

Bad things happen. Instead of looking for reasons, answers or blame, focus on the positives as much as you can. Spend time reflecting on the good memories, or maybe the bad times if the former doesn't work for you. Think about how the person made your life better and that you are grieving because they came into your life. Imagine how different it would be if you hadn't known them at all?

Bad things happen. Acknowledge it, find out as much as you can about it, help yourself to come to terms with it, and then help others in whatever way you can.

Personally, I have given up on questioning why bad things happen. I now try as much as possible to accept it and make the best of the situation as much as my hard-wired brain will allow me to. May I encourage you to do the same.

By all means cry, shout, get angry, express out loud how you feel. That is a good thing to do as suppressing emotions is detrimental to your well-being. Take as long as you need, don't rush it, you will know when it is time to move on. When it 'feels' right, move on.

If you have trouble accepting the tragedy or moving forward, ask for help. There is no shame in seeking assistance, on the contrary it is a sign of strength to do so.

Bad things happen, that is a part of life. Good things also happen which is also a part of life, a bigger part may I suggest. We just don't see the good things when we are sad and down.

Forget the bad things in the past, look to the good things in the future, but always be in the moment.

May I take this opportunity to thank you for following my posts over the last year or two. I hope in some small way that I have been able to get you thinking about things differently, to look as much as you can at the positives in life.

I wish you and your family the very best for the holiday season, Merry Christmas.