As this is my last post for 2016 I want to encourage you to focus on the positives over the festive season and beyond.
Over the last few days I have been contacted by those who have had some form of tragedy in their life. The usual question is "Why do bad things always happen at Christmas". The simple fact is they don't, bad things happen every day. It's just that Christmas, and other festive occasions such as birthdays, New Year, etc., are a marker on which to place the tragedy.
Ask any emergency service worker what it is like to work on a night shift when there is a full moon, they may tell you that it is busier than any other night. Numerous studies however indicate that this is not the case. What I can tell you is that the jobs we attended during a full moon were strange therefore it felt like there was more of them.
Bad things happen. When they do we look as to why and often there is a cause that we wished we had seen coming. "If only" we tell ourselves.
Bad things happen. Instead of looking for reasons, answers or blame, focus on the positives as much as you can. Spend time reflecting on the good memories, or maybe the bad times if the former doesn't work for you. Think about how the person made your life better and that you are grieving because they came into your life. Imagine how different it would be if you hadn't known them at all?
Bad things happen. Acknowledge it, find out as much as you can about it, help yourself to come to terms with it, and then help others in whatever way you can.
Personally, I have given up on questioning why bad things happen. I now try as much as possible to accept it and make the best of the situation as much as my hard-wired brain will allow me to. May I encourage you to do the same.
By all means cry, shout, get angry, express out loud how you feel. That is a good thing to do as suppressing emotions is detrimental to your well-being. Take as long as you need, don't rush it, you will know when it is time to move on. When it 'feels' right, move on.
If you have trouble accepting the tragedy or moving forward, ask for help. There is no shame in seeking assistance, on the contrary it is a sign of strength to do so.
Bad things happen, that is a part of life. Good things also happen which is also a part of life, a bigger part may I suggest. We just don't see the good things when we are sad and down.
Forget the bad things in the past, look to the good things in the future, but always be in the moment.
May I take this opportunity to thank you for following my posts over the last year or two. I hope in some small way that I have been able to get you thinking about things differently, to look as much as you can at the positives in life.
I wish you and your family the very best for the holiday season, Merry Christmas.