Take Your Time, There's No Need To Rush.

I have been rushing for most of my life - rushing to grow up, rushing to progress my career, rushing to be the first, rushing to beat others, rushing to get to the top, rush, rush, rush.

And in my rush I have missed so much - missed being a child, missed having fun, missed stopping for a chat, missed savouring the wonderful moments along the way.

Today, our lives are so much busier than when I was growing up, we all know that. And just lately I have been getting busy with work, at home, and in my personal life. But here's the difference - today I stop and wait, I “Crouch and hold”.

If you ask me if I would like to grab a cuppa, you bet I would. If you want to chat, absolutely. If you want a hand with something, yes I can. If you ask me if I have five minutes to spare, sure I do (unless I have a prior engagement of course). If you need me today, possibly not but let’s look at when we can meet.

Since slowing down I have become much calmer - I chat more, learn more, enjoy more, worry less and aren't so stressed as I once was. I no longer fret that I may miss out if I don’t act now, I no longer pack my diary with appointments, I no longer rush to grab that bargain, I take my time and plan. Wow, what a positive difference this makes.

Slow down, smell the roses, take in the day, savour the moment, be in the moment, and live life to the max. By slowing down you will actually achieve more than you ever thought possible and you will be the better for doing so.

If it is meant to be it will be is my new mantra. And by taking my time it always ends for the better, in more ways than one.

More About My Journey Of Discovery.

Having had a brain-break in 1999, I sometimes wonder if I will ever be free of the effects of this event. Will I ever be 'normal' again, will I be free to work as hard as I used to without fear of going 'mad', will I always be worried about what others think and say about me, will I ever be totally ‘free’?

The answer is, as it is with most things, yes and. Or as we say in New Zealand - "Yeah nah!"

I learnt a lot when I went through my event. I learned that I have to look after myself, I learned that I should never have worked 12-hour days continuously for years on end, I learned that the mind is just as fragile as the body and if you mistreat it your brain will break just like the body, and I learned that I am not indestructible after all.

Going through my recovery was one of true discovery. Everything went from dark to light, opaque to clear, hazy to bright, cloudy to sunny. It didn’t happen overnight, it took a few years, three-to-five as they say. But it was a wonderful journey of discovery.

I discovered that the brain is more important than the body, that it never rests, that it makes stuff up, that it exaggerates the negative, that it will get away on me if I let it, and that it is me who ultimately has control of my brain.

I also discovered that I must take care of my brain, I must rest it when it is tired, that I must exercise it when it has been dormant, that I can work as hard as I want provided I don’t do so for years on end, that I must stop (over) reacting to my negative thoughts, that I must trust my gut instinct more, that I must listen to my brain when it is in slow mode and ignore it when it is sprinting flat-out.

I find now that I am more emotional than I ever was, I am more connected with those around me, that I am more caring about what others think and say, that I should try and help others as much as I can, that how I behave impacts on others without me ever knowing it both positively and negatively. I am more sensitive than I would ever have thought a person should or could be, and that’s a good thing.

Mostly what I learned is that I have been to a place that many of us have been to and recovered from, that I am not alone, that what I went through is normal if you don’t look after yourself, that I should have listened to those around me who had ‘been there and done that’, that I am human after all. And I wouldn’t want to change any of the effects for anything, I am living life to the fullest.

Is It More Than 1-In-4?

It is said, from statistical analysis, that one person in every four has had a diagnosis of some form of a mental illness (which I will term brain-break). The majority seems to be depression related. I often wonder if it is much higher than that?

I am fortunate enough to work with organisations whose focus is to help others by providing a service of some form or another. This includes professionals such as lawyers, accountants, bankers, engineers and pretty much every company who deals with people.

No longer am I surprised, and also very humbled, at the number of people who approach me after my presentations to tell me about their 'journey'. I would go further to say that I am no longer confident that the true figure of those who have had, or still have, a brain-break is as much as one in every two. 

Today is so fast that we seldom have time to slow down, to take a breath, to shut the world out.

I can only suggest that we all take a few minutes each day to stop, sit in a quiet room, and just breathe. In fact, breathe deeply using the 5-5-5 method. Breathe in for 5 seconds, hold your breath for 5 seconds, and let your breath out for 5 seconds. The benefits are endless and will help slow things down.

The world needs you more than you need the world. The world can wait, you can’t.

Hard Work, Was It All Worth It?

For many years now I have been working hard, in fact since the age of eight I have been in some form of paid employment. I sometimes look back on those years and wonder if it was all worth it.

By working so hard I missed out on a few things – completely enjoying my childhood, making life-long friendships from an early age, studying while young to increase my academic ability, savouring the moments of courtship, having a greater involvement in the raising of my children, being around when my wife needed me the most, being in the moment and enjoying every second of it.

Entering the third trimester of my life, I find myself wondering if all of that hard work was worth it. Where would I be now if I hadn't spent most of my life working? Should I have done things differently? What if I could go back and make it right?

I do know that I have gained a lot of things by working hard - a nice house, new cars, wonderful trips overseas, the ability to buy something if I need to. I don't have as much as I would like mind you, but I have enough to be comfortable.

Do I have regrets, yes. Am I sorry for working so hard when I should have been with my friends and family, yes. Is there some guilt inside me for not being around, some times. But it is what it was, I can't go back and change things but I can do my best to make things as right as I can and to be better at being there in the future.

So was it all worth it? Again the answer is yes, without a doubt. You see most of the time that I have feelings of guilt and regret is when I compare myself to others. I am taking on their wishes and desires, their life’s journey. And they are not me. I am who I am and lived how I chose to. Isn’t that what life is about, living life how you want to and not how others think that you should do?

For me, hard work was worth it. Sure I missed out on a few things in life, but I also gained a few other things. Not just material things, I also gained knowledge and experience that I can pass on to others. And the moments I had while working hard were also good ones and I wouldn’t have had those moments if I hadn’t chosen to work as hard as I did. Hard work set a strong platform for me to grow upon.

If I was to have the chance to do it all again would I work as hard as I have? In a heartbeat. Would I have done things differently, probably. Yet I have no regrets for working hard, hard work brings its on rewards.

There is no doubt that for most of us, the harder we work the luckier we get.

If You Don't Like It, Get Another Job. Really!

I hear it time and time again, "If you don't enjoy what you are doing then leave and get another job". Really, do you think it is that easy to find another job if you don't have the necessary skills, knowledge, experience or attributes to get another job?

I prefer to say, "If you don't like what you are doing then change something about the way in which you do your job".

Often we don't like our job because we are bored, we have been doing the same thing for far too long and have become way too comfortable, we are in a rut. Here is some things that you can do towards improving yourself;

• Set yourself a target for each day/week - try and improve the amount/quality of the work that you do.
• Request to undertake professional development opportunities - is there a secondment position, perhaps working for a short period with another company, or maybe relieving at a higher level.
• Seek out training opportunities - there are always training courses available, both in-house and external.
• Look to higher education - sign up for an accredited course from a reputable provider.
• Move to a different part of the organisation - the greater the breadth of your knowledge the more valuable you will become.
• Look at what you want to do and work towards that – if you do want to find a new job, start planning and developing yourself towards that goal.

If none of those are a consideration for you then here's some other things to try;

• Change the way in which you travel to work - train, boat, bus, bike, or walk.
• Change your work schedule - can you start later, earlier, or maybe work from home for one day a week?
• Become a social director - organise celebrations and special events within and outside of your workplace.
• Join a committee - is there a committee that you could add value to? If not, ask a manager how you can help in this area.

Rather than change your job, change something about your current job. Believe it or not your brain likes change and likes to be challenged.