Change - The 12 Stages

It used to be that I thought there were only five stages that we all went through when faced with change. These stages were similar to the five stages of grief - denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

John Fisher conducted research on the early 2000s and discovered that there can be up to 12 stages in the change process;

1.     Anxiety - We feel a lack of control, of uncertainty, and a bit of fear. This is because the change is new and our brain dislikes the unknown.

2.     Happiness - Believe it or not, for some of us our brain likes change. Change can be exciting, a relief that someone is doing something, an opportunity for progression.

3.     Denial - Those who dislike change will ignore what is going on around them. "I've seen it before, it works in cycles" they will say.

4.     Fear - A sudden realisation that things will be different and we don't know what it is or how it will impact on us.

5.     Threat - Our choices have suddenly become limited, old ways are no longer available so “How will I cope?”

6.     Anger - Not anger at the change but anger at themselves for not doing more in their work so that change wouldn't be required.

7.     Guilt - Linked to anger, people may feel a sense of blame as they believe the change arose because of them.

8.     Disillusionment - Some will feel this if they the change conflicts with their personal practices and beliefs.

9.     Depression - Confusion, a lack of drive, and a reluctance to change leads to negative thoughts.

10. Hostility - Some will dig their toes in with the hope that the change won't go ahead if they keep resisting it.

11. Gradual acceptance - It is not immediate, eventually people will accept change once they know that it is inevitable.

12. Moving forward - Things seem more positive as people get to understand the change.

So how does this help you in managing change? Three things to remember;

1.     Each of us reacts differently so you will need to take a holistic approach when introducing change. Try different things at different times (As Mr Google how).

2.      Communicate to staff early using the four Ws & the H - what, when, where, why & how.

3.      Get everyone involved. You know where you are and where you want to be, get your staff to show you how to get there. Change comes from the bottom up, not the top down.

To Maslow or Not to Maslow

Like everything to do with academia, there are supporters of theories and there are detractors. I like to listen to the supporters. What I have found in my 30 years of academic studies is that the main drive of detractors is to disprove a theory. Not for academic purposes mind you, they do it so that they can say 'look at me, look at how I found that this was wrong". Conspiracy theorists.

Maslow’s theory of our hierarchy of needs is one such theory that comes and goes. People either like it or rubbish it. Why do some dislike it, because his theory was based on observation and not on research? Sorry, isn't observation a type of research?

Maslow proposed that we have a hierarchy of needs in the shape of a pyramid. At the base of the pyramid (the widest part therefore the most important) is our physiological needs; air, water, food, shelter, sleep. That makes sense. I would add to that these days - money. Most of us need money for food and shelter.

The next layer on the pyramid is safety; family, health, employment, etc. Again it makes sense to me. The third level of the pyramid is belonging; socialisation, family, community, friendship. We need to feel loved, to feel wanted, to be listened to and heard. By the way, so much of this layer is missing these days because of urban sprawl and electronic communication. We don't talk enough! I digress.

Then Maslow suggests that our next need is esteem; self-confidence, achievement, the respect of others. This is the 'look at me' stuff that I was talking about earlier, the detractors. I bet the detractors wouldn't spend as much time as a detractor if they didn't have a home, food, or a job.

Lastly is self-actualization; problem solving, accepting of facts, lack of prejudice, getting ahead if life. Isn't this the last thing on most of our minds? We just want to have nice things, live a good life, and look after our health and wellbeing. 

So, what do you think? Where do you sit on this? Doesn't this pyramid make common sense to you? Didn't it 'feel' right when you read it? Is there some other way of arranging the pyramid? For me, it makes sense and Maslow’s theory is still relevant today.

I Hate Disruptions

Just as your day is going great, something happens to interrupt it and we go into a spin. The reason, our brain hates surprises. I liken our brain to a computer, if everything works well then our frontal lobe is happy whirring away. If something out of the ordinary happens, the little wheel starts spinning out of control.

Previously, I was one of those people who would let everyone know how I felt about the change in my situation. I would get grumpy and say things that I would later regret. I would then have to apologise which would make me feel worse still.

Through my learnings and study, I have now found that the right way to deal with disruptions is to relax, make a joke about it, and 'go with the flow'. It is still damn annoying when things go wrong but it now doesn't impact on me like it used to.

Here's an example. Yesterday I had a busy day providing workshops in Rotorua and Christchurch, two cities in New Zealand. I managed to get to each venue with minutes to spare and then the country's radar failed. All flights were grounded.

I could have panicked, which I would have done previously. I could have told the airline how much they had inconvenienced my day despite it being no fault of theirs. I could have demanded a refund and hired a car to drive the 6 hours home. I could have done lots of things that would make me look like a fool.

Instead I joked about the situation. "Can't the pilots just look out the windscreen" I quipped. I sat down and completed my emails, planned the next week, wrote another coaching programme and watched a bit of television. There was nothing anyone could do about the situation so why fight it.         

By embracing the situation and using it to my advantage (looking at the positive side of things) I was content and had completed work that I would otherwise had to complete at another time. I went to bed relaxed and slept well knowing that I was on top. I had used a bad situation to my advantage.

I wonder why it took me so long to figure this stuff out. I guess it is called life.

I Want To Be Someone Else

How many times have you thought to yourself, "I wish that I was 'that' person." You see someone on television who is living a dream life, maybe watching a sports professional that you would like to play just as well as, or maybe a business person exceeding in their professional life.

The fact is, while these people may be the best at what they do, they have the same worries as us, the same issues as us, the same worries, and the same fears. Oftentimes their 'issues' are worse than ours.

It is one thing to admire these successful people, it is another to want to be them. When we do this we are telling ourselves that we aren't successful, that we aren't worthy, that we are in fact never going to be successful. And that is rubbish.

You may never be what you wish you could be, and that is just a reality. However, who is to say that you will never be the successful person that you desire to be? Only you, no one else. We all have self-doubt. It is a researched fact that most people do not believe they should be where they are in life and they wait for someone or something to bring them down.

You are where you are because of the road you chose. Or maybe life threw you a curveball. Accept that and look to the future. Don't let your past hold you back, set yourself some goals and keep moving forward. Look to those successful people who have achieved and work to be like them, not actually them.

Also remember, most of them came from the same place as you and I.

What Does It Take To Be Great

You have heard it said that to be great you need a far-off goal, support from others, dogged determination, and to just keep going when things get tough. We look up to those of you have done just that, who have made it, who have had a dream and realised it. So often this person is someone who is very wealthy and/or prominent. We celebrate your success.

But what about those amongst us who are working just as hard, have modest dreams, have support from family and a few friends, are determined to reach their realistic dreams yet are easily swayed to take a different path, and want to succeed but success to them is a modest life-style.

For me, those people are also leaders amongst us. These people are doing wonderful things, working each day to ensure that they can achieve what they set out to do and making a difference in peoples lives along the way.

For me, those people are the ones that we should look to in awe. They are the people just like you who go to work each day, doing your very best that you can, looking after yourself and your family. 

You are the ones who work as hard as you can in support of the people that you work for. You get up each day, travel to work in congested flows, work 8 to 10 hours each day with overtime thrown in if 'they' ask you to, then travel back home in the same congested flows you travelled in earlier that day.

You are the people who keep businesses going. You are the people who complete the often tiresome work for your employer. You are the ones who want your company to succeed. You are the ones who are forgotten about unless you do something wrong, which isn't that often.

For me, you are the leaders that we should also look up to. Thank you for doing what you do each and every day.