Moods - It's All in Your Mind

Apart from those of us who suffer from a diagnosed mental illness, our mood swings originate from our mind - our thoughts. Because of this it is possible to change your mood from negative to positive just by thinking about.

I was sceptical about this assertion just like some of you reading this post. Ha, change my mood by changing my thoughts, rubbish. "Walk a mile in my shoes and see what I have to put up with each day. You have no idea what it's like for me."

I have walked in your shoes and I do have an idea of what it is like for you. I will admit that some of us do have bigger shoes than others, more 'stuff' seems to happen to them than to others. But generally, we all go through times where our mood drops. And some of us drop a lot further than others. Know that the further you drop the harder it is to climb back out so prevention is the key.

For most of us the negative thoughts are in our heads, it's how we think about things. Here's a simple example. I bet that you have been somewhere where you would rather not be - in a boring meeting, stuck in a conversation that you are not enjoying, doing a job that is tiresome or monotonous. You feel low.

And then you think of something happy that is coming up. You suddenly remember that you are meeting with friends later that day, going to a concert, travelling somewhere, or maybe you simply remember that it is Friday. In a split-second your mood lifts. You feel much better and you may even breakout a smile.

So what happened around you to make you feel better? Nothing. There was other influencing factor. Your mood was uplifted by just changing your thoughts. And if you keep thinking these positive thoughts going, your brain will learn to look for more of them. I use to dismiss the saying "Think happy thoughts". Now I don't. 

Positive psychology works on little tricks like this to help your brain. It is intuitive, you just need someone to show you how to switch it on. 

More Brain Help

Sleep, exercise, and socialisation are the three most important things that you can do to maintain your wellbeing. Research tells us that there are some other things that you can do to change your mood when are feeling down. These are not techniques that are common but they work;

1. Hugs - This produces oxytocin (the love drug), lifts mood, increases serotonin, helps the immune system, and lots more.
2. Positives diary - Don't write down the bad things that happened during the day so that you can avoid the situation in the future, write down the good things so that you can remember them and look for more of them.
3. Look for positives in the morning - Your brain is hard-wired to worry and it starts this as soon as you wake up. Immediately look for positive things that are coming up each day.
4. Do the opposite - When we feel down all we want to do is curl into a ball, the foetal position. Stretch out straight and breathe slowly to get the oxygenated blood circulating properly.
5. Use self-talk - Talk to that person inside your head and tell it how good you feel.
6. Fix the small stuff - Small stuff becomes big stuff if you don't do something about it.
7. Procrastination - Leaving something unfinished plays on your mind, get on with it and 'just do it'.
8. Laughter - Watch lots of comedic shows, joke with friends, even smiling will change your mood.
9. Positive people - Hang out with positive people, not those who are always negative, talk disparagingly about others or who spread gossip.
10. Be gentle - To yourself and to others. We all make mistakes, none of us are perfect (sorry about that). Forgive yourself and those around you.

Fix Me Quickly

In today’s busy world we want everything to happen now. Unfortunately when it comes to our wellbeing, it takes time. So, is there a fast way that I can change my emotional state when I am continually feeling down and having negative thoughts? You bet.

It can take up to 80 days to change a habit, this exercise will take just 20 days to change your negative mood into a happier one. Now for the small print - if you are really struggling you need to seek professional help.

The 20-20-20 method is a proven technique that works the quickest of all resiliency techniques. Unfortunately there is a bit of work involved but when you aren't feeling the best I am sure that you will find the time.

• Exercise - 20 minutes of exercise every day. A medium to fast-paced continuous walk is enough to get your blood circulating through your plumbing and filters a few times. The heart rate must rise to get the blood pumping. (Physical component)
• Look Forward - 20 minutes of thinking about happy events that are coming up in your life or of thinking about your 'happy place'. This need not be continuous. Some people place stickers around their house and every time they look at one they stop for a few minutes and think about happy things. (Psychological component)
• Laughter or Smiling - 20 minutes of laughing or smiling creates endorphins. Endorphins affect our brain positively. (Physical and psychological component)

As our brains and bodies are inextricably linked, by combining physical and psychological elements in this exercise you will get a faster result.

That's it, simple. Within 20 days of sticking to this regime you will soon see your mood lift.

Performance Management - Time for a Change?

Don't you hate this time of the year, performance reviews and engagement surveys. There aren't many organisations that don't have them and they can be a real challenge to complete. What would happen if they became enjoyable to conduct?

I was interested in recent research which suggests that focussing on what people should improve upon actually causes their higher skills to deteriorate with little impact on improving what you have asked them to improve upon.

When you think about it, the reason that we are poor in certain areas of our work is because we are either afraid of that area or just useless at it. So why would we want to focus on that? Why would we want to focus on the negative?

The same research also suggests that focussing on the employee's higher skills will lift their weaker areas as a consequence. All you have to do is to indicate that you would like them to lift their skills in the weaker area/s but that they won't be monitored on them.

This motivates the employee, they become excited about their achievements and want to improve their weaknesses as the enthusiasm grows with success in their strong area.

Focussing on the employee's strengths also makes it easier for the supervisor during performance meetings. Praise comes easy, criticism can be difficult. 

Try it, what do you have to lose?

Men Can help Themselves

Men are over-represented in depression by about 2 to 1. I have a view on why it is that men get unwell (brain sickness). I believe it's because we are tough (stupid).

When women have a problem they talk to their friends, when men have a problem they talk to themselves. When women want someone to listen to them they find a close friend and ask for their opinion (no point talking to a man because he will go straight to problem solving), when men want someone to listen to them they listen to themselves.

If women get sick they go to the doctor, us men 'work through' the sickness because we can. If we are really concerned about our sickness we will put pressure on ourselves to see if we are actually sick. When men get an injury, we will go for a run or to the gym to see if we are in fact injured. Usually we are and will make it worse!

When women meet up with friends they talk about their problems, their pleasures, their family, their work, and a whole heap of other stuff. When men meet they talk about work and sport.

I wonder what would happen if men started following what women do? Don't be silly, we do okay by ourselves.