As a child, I used to lie on my side in bed and rock back and forth for long periods. I rocked so much I broke three beds.
At that same time, I carried a handkerchief in my pocket and would rub the corner between my finger and thumb in small circles.
A few times people walked into my room and caught me rocking. Looking back, I imagine they wondered if I was rehearsing for The Exorcist.
The truth is that I had no idea why I was doing either.
While I rocked, I would disappear into my imagination, often seeing myself as the hero in whatever adventure my mind had created.
The rubbing of the handkerchief brought me joy, slowed my brain, and made me feel safe.
Sometimes I look back on those moments with sadness, and other times with joy, because rocking brought me comfort, calm, and a place where I felt completely at ease.
It has only been through my recent ADHD research that I've started to understand what may have been happening.
Research suggests that rhythmic movements such as rocking and repetitive actions such as rubbing a piece of fabric can help soothe the nervous system, regulate attention, and create a sense of calm and safety.
They are ways some people naturally self-soothe and manage a busy mind. Nobody understood any of this back in the day, least of all me.
Looking back now, I don't see a weird little boy.
I see a young boy who instinctively found his own way to slow the noise, find comfort, and make sense of the world around him.
If you have any behaviours that you thought were unique, drop them in the comments.
Let’s see how many people will open up.
Let’s talk!
How Did You Feel Safe?