A wise person once told me that to be in business you need to be resilient. You need to be more than that, you need to be neuroplastic.
Being in business is tough - figuring out how to expand, how to meet the market and how to stay ahead.
Resilience is about adapting to situations more than getting back up once we fall.
So often we feel that we have failed when we do not meet our own expectations. Much worse, we feel like a total failure in everything we do.
I was recently told I was unsuccessful for a large piece of work that I had been hoping to secure. It was difficult to hear after so much effort and passion.
Why did I not get the contract, where did I go wrong, and what was it about me that they didn’t like?
Feeling like a failure can stem from various factors, always intertwined with our thoughts, emotions, and experiences.
👉 Unrealistic Expectations – Setting goals that are too high or unattainable.
👉 Comparison with Others – Comparing ourselves to others can make us feel inadequate, especially if we perceive others as more successful.
👉 Negative Self-Talk – Harsh self-criticism and focusing on our shortcomings can reinforce feelings of failure.
👉 Perfectionism – Striving for perfection can create a fear of failure and make any mistake feel like a significant setback.
👉 External Pressure – Expectations in society can contribute to feelings of failure if we feel we aren't meeting those standards.
If left unchecked, we can very soon find ourselves down a dark hole and get stuck there. Very few good things happen in the dark! It is lonely, hollow, emotionless, a void of despair. This is not the way to recover.
There is a way forward - and it looks like this:
👉 Recognise the Inner Critic: The first step is to notice the negative thoughts and patterns.
👉 Challenge Negative Thoughts: Question the validity of the critical thoughts. Are they based on facts or assumptions or would you say the same things to a friend?
👉 Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer to a loved one.
👉 Reframe Your Thoughts: Replace negative thoughts with realistic ones.
👉 Focus on Strengths: Make a list of your strengths and achievements.
You are not a failure; it was just not the right opportunity at this time. Life rarely gives just one chance - more opportunities will come, perhaps some even better than you imagined.
We never fail, we learn. Our strongest lessons come from our toughest times.
Let’s talk!
We Never Fail, We Learn & Understand!