You should eat this.
You shouldn't eat that.
You should exercise more.
You shouldn't exercise like that.
You should stop drinking.
Relax, just have a couple of drinks.
You should be productive.
You shouldn't work so much.
One of life's pressures for some of us is to try and change who we are according to what our family, friends, professionals, society or others say we should do.
It's good to be fit, it's good to be mindful of what we eat, it's good to have a work/life balance, it's good to keep our minds occupied, and it's good to conform to norms when appropriate.
The problem that some of us have is that many of us spend far too much time trying to follow a strict regime, trying to get the work/life balance right, trying to conform to what others suggest of us - trying to meet all of the expectations of others and of ourselves.
A classic pressure that we put ourselves under relates to our physical health - we need to eat right, drink right, eat less, exercise more, the list goes on. Yes, these are all good things to consider, but so is your mind health.
Striving to do all of the aforementioned suggestions places us under pressure, pressure that can easily turn to anxiety and stress if we believe we aren't meeting those expectations.
Our brains are wired in such a way that it is often difficult to make changes in our lives because what we want to change is deeply ingrained in or brain. It takes to sixty (60) to eighty (80) days to change a habit. Just one, single, solitary habit.
To reduce this tension that goes on inside of our heads, choose just one thing that you want to change in your life, something that will make a real difference to you, something that you want dearly to achieve. Then, focus on that single thing for eighty days minimum. When this new habit has become instinctive, i.e. a habit you no longer have to think about, pick just one more thing to change.
Over a year, you shouldn't try to change more than three habits, your brain won't like it. If you try to change too much at once your brain will become overloaded and will resist the changes.
Each of us is very different, and that is what makes the world an interesting place.
Keep doing your best - that's more than enough. And remember, your best will look different each day.
Let's talk!
Should I Go Back To The office?
Should I Go Back To The Office?
After a few disruptive years of working from home, the global workforce is now split in various ways.
Around 43% of people have returned to working exclusively in the office. About 20% remain fully remote, working from home or other locations.
The rest of us are navigating a hybrid model, splitting our time between home and the office.
I cherish the days I work from home, developing programmes or presenting workshops online. But I also value the days I travel across the country and into Australia, meeting people face-to-face. Actual, real people.
Working fully remotely comes with its own set of challenges, and the latest research from neuroscience sheds light on these impacts:
1. Cognitive Load: Managing multiple communication tools and platforms can increase cognitive load, leading to mental fatigue and decreased productivity.
2. Social Isolation: The lack of in-person interaction can lead to feelings of loneliness and social isolation. We are social beings who thrive on connection.
3. Work-Life Balance: While remote work offers flexibility, it can blur the boundaries between work and personal life leading to overworking and burnout if not managed.
4. Stress and Anxiety: The constant connectivity and pressure to always be available can increase stress and anxiety levels.
5. Physical Health: Prolonged remote work can lead to sedentary behaviour, negatively impacting physical health and, consequently, brain health.
On the positive side, remote work can enhance neuroplasticity by encouraging the development of new skills and adaptability.
Navigating new technologies and work environments can stimulate brain growth and cognitive flexibility.
If you are working fully remotely, it's important to consider the impact on your well-being.
Those sometimes-annoying micro-conversations we have in the workplace that often disrupt us can also connect us.
They remind us that we are not alone, that there are others like us who face similar challenges.
Although our cognitive functions are adapting to remote work and electronic communication, we still need social connections.
There is a reason we sign off our posts with the words – let’s talk. It is imperative that we all do so, even if we might not always enjoy it.
Let’s talk!
Becoming More Adaptable!
There is a balance between empowering our young to prepare them for life's challenges and putting them under too much pressure. Maturity is an important aspect of managing emotions.
Too much pressure at an early age, when the brain hasn't developed adequately, may reduce a person's ability to cope later in life. Hopefully, this is helpful for you as an adult if you ever feel less resilient than others seem to be.
If you want to add to your level of resilience, there are some things that you can do to strengthen your ability to cope and adapt. We all know the benefits of having a support network, of believing in yourself, of being optimistic, of managing change.
Yet, how do we do that? Experientially is the best way.
Those who follow us know that we are fans of practical techniques. Don't dream it, don't think it, do it!
Try some of these tips to improve your ability to cope with 'life' when life happens to you:
🧗 Do something small that challenges you, often. Remember, small steps are better than no steps at all.
🎯 Set goals - goals need not be large nor long-term, but we all need something to work towards. A series of small goals is the way, layover points between each goal to rest, the mountain is yours to conquer.
🛠️ Start something new - Learning new skills keeps the brain interested, active, and alert. There are wonderful benefits in having a bucket list, remember to keep adding to it as you tick each one off.
🧩 Work on problem-solving skills - puzzles, online quizzes, a games night, wordle, whatever it takes to get you thinking.
We can become more adaptable, more able to cope with what life sends our way, we become more resilient. We all have the ability to change, this I can promise you.
Let's talk!
I Can Never Get Anything Right!
I can never get anything right no matter how hard I try.
I’m the worst person I know at everything I attempt.
I just can’t get my sh*t together.
Who puts you under the most pressure? You do. When you make a mistake, who beats you up the worst? You do.
Who do you talk to the most during your day? Yourself.
(If you’re sitting there thinking, "No, I don’t," you’re doing it right now!)
We are our own worst enemy, and we think we’re alone.
The purpose of the inner critic is to protect us from potential failure, rejection, or danger. By criticizing ourselves, we are preparing for what others might say.
Our inner critic also encourages us to conform to social norms and expectations to avoid conflict.
The problem is it has the opposite effect. It damages our self-esteem and self-worth; it can bring on stress and anxiety and can hinder performance from a fear of failure.
Like most things to do with our mind, the first step is always being mindful of our thoughts – thinking about what we’re thinking about.
The next step is to practice self-compassion, being as understanding and patient with yourself as you are with those around you.
Would you berate or belittle someone else in the same way that you do to yourself? No. So why do it to yourself?
It’s time to rewire our brains. We no longer need many of the safety features from yesteryear.
Focus on what you have achieved and how you might improve next time if you need to.
Remember that we are all better and stronger than we think we are. If you don’t believe yourself, ask someone else.
Let’s talk!
That's The Spirit!
When I first heard the statement, “That’s the spirit” - it was said after a comment I made, “I can’t be bothered”.
It made me laugh.
It got me thinking about the word ‘spirit’ in the context of determination and attitude when we aren’t feeling that way.
We all have times when our motivation wanes, when it becomes more difficult, or when energy is difficult to come by. Usually, it’s because we’ve had a setback of some sort or have been working hard for a long period of time.
How can we get our mojo back when we feel lethargic, when we can’t be bothered, and when we are tired of pushing through?
Researchers have identified 15 core motives that drive human behaviour, grouped into five categories: environmental, physiological, reproductive, psychological, and social.
These motives were developed as survival mechanisms from which Maslow built his Hierarchy of Needs model. They are ingrained in our survival behaviours.
When motivation is low and challenges feel heavy, these 15 core motives can help you reconnect with your energy and drive to achieve your goals:
Environmental:
👉 Hoard – Collect items like food, money, or even digital assets (e.g., cryptocurrency) to ensure future security.
👉 Create – Invent a new gadget, write a post/article/book, or develop a new programme, presentation or similar.
Physiological:
👉 Fear – Avoid places that make you fearful or heighten your senses.
👉 Disgust – Avoid anything that causes you to feel disgust such as a movie, a book, smelly food, etc.
👉 Hunger – Support your energy and focus by eating nourishing meals at regular intervals.
👉 Comfort – Seek places of comfort or do things that make you feel safe.
Reproductive:
👉 Lust – Be with those who you love to be with.
👉 Attract - Present yourself in a way that feels confident and polished, like you would for an important meeting or first impression.
👉 Love – Cultivate meaningful connections, whether with a partner, family member, or close friend.
👉 Nurture - Take care of a child, pet, or a plant.
Psychological:
👉 Curiosity – Read a book, watch a documentary, pull something apart or explore an area you haven’t been before.
👉 Play - Play a sport, video game, or engaging in a hobby.
Social:
👉 Affiliate - Join a club, team, or social group to feel a sense of belonging.
👉 Status – Work hard for a promotion or recognition in your field.
👉 Justice - Advocate for fair treatment and equality, such as participating in social justice movements.
These are just some examples to illustrate how fundamental motives manifest in everyday life and can motivate us through dopamine.
Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that motivates us and from which we learn from.
Going back to earlier times can help us move into the future.
Let’s talk!