A couple of days ago, I found myself frustrated with technology.
Nothing dramatic, just one of those moments where things wouldn’t work the way they were supposed to.
I didn’t realise my words had become harsher than I intended.
It wasn’t the technology, it wasn’t the lack of internet connection, it wasn’t that I needed to access documents.
It was the pressure underneath it all, the importance of the task, the urgency, the fear of letting someone down.
That’s what was really speaking.
Neuroscience tells us that when stress rises, the brain tries to protect us by reacting fast, too fast.
The amygdala fires before the thinking brain even comes online.
Our tone sharpens, our patience shortens, our focus narrows to the threat, not to the reality.
And suddenly, we’re reacting to something on the surface when the real trigger is sitting quietly underneath.
For me, it wasn’t a glitch in a device – it was the weight of needing that device to work because what I was doing mattered.
I think this happens to all of us more often than we admit.
• We snap at our kids – not because of the spilt juice, but because we’re overwhelmed.
• We get short with a colleague – not because of the question, but because we’re already carrying too much.
• We get frustrated at a small problem – because the bigger problem is sitting in the background, unnoticed.
This is not an excuse; it is a reason.
So, what should we try to do? The true origins of Stoicism had this in mind:
• Pause – stop for a moment.
• Question your thoughts – what is causing me to feel this way?
• Act according to your values – it will be the wrong thing if not aligned with who you are.
• NOT let the emotion guide our action – and that is where I went wrong.
Awareness is powerful; it’s just hard to do in the immediate moment.
Apologise as soon as you can for behaving in a way that is not in line with your desired action, reflect on what happened, and commit to doing better next time.
Let’s talk!
Have You Ever Witnessed A Workplace Accident?
Have you ever witnessed a workplace accident?
I have.
Many years ago, as a builder, I watched a rigger fall from the roof of a commercial building I was overseeing.
On the way down, he struck a pallet of blocks.
It was surreal. And it’s an image I still see, even now.
That moment changes how you think about safety.
Not paperwork, not procedures, but people.
Over the years, I became deeply involved in workplace safety – as a Health and Safety Representative, in senior safety roles, and later investigating incidents & accidents.
Even then, one thing was clear: What we were doing 40 years ago wasn’t working.
We often discuss psychological safety.
It’s often described as feeling safe to speak up.
Psychological safety is about trust under pressure. It’s what happens when:
👉 Someone raises a concern
👉 A mistake is exposed
👉 A decision is challenged
👉 The stakes are high
And most importantly, how we respond in those moments.
Genuine psychological safety means you can speak honestly without fear of retribution.
Mistakes shouldn’t be met with humiliation; disagreement shouldn’t cost you a sense of belonging.
Many workplaces claim psychological safety, right up until someone says, 'This isn’t working, this is wrong.'
That’s when genuine psychological safety is tested. Not in policies, in behaviour.
Psychological safety matters, and in some circumstances, more than physical safety.
Let’s talk!
Lonely or Alone!
I was recently asked by my wife whether I ever feel lonely when I travel.
I am so fortunate to be able to travel and have work, so I never take it for granted.
My reply - “I’m always alone, but I’m never lonely.”
What I meant was that when I’m travelling, my days are full. There’s always something to do, somewhere to be, someone to engage with.
My busy brain tends to keep me occupied.
But there are times when that changes.
Late at night, lying in a hotel room, trying to get to sleep.
Or on a Sunday evening, travelling while the rest of the world seems to be settling back at home.
That’s when I can feel both alone and lonely.
Not isolated, not disconnected from people, just aware of the absence of real connection in that moment.
I think that’s something many of us experience. Even those with full lives, strong relationships and busy minds like me.
It is possible to be surrounded by people, engaged in meaningful work and still carry a sense of loneliness.
Especially when you’re good at coping, especially when you’re used to being fine.
Finding connection in those moments isn’t easy.
Not because we don’t want it, but because we don’t want to bother others.
So instead, we stay busy, we stay capable, we stay fine.
If any of this feels familiar, it doesn’t mean something is wrong with you.
Often, it just means you’ve learned how to manage, even when part of you would benefit from connection.
Sometimes the most important thing isn’t solving the feeling, it’s simply acknowledging it.
I am lucky to have others to feel disconnected from.
I am not lonely; I am just alone.
Let’s talk!
Managing The Increasing Event-Stress
For many I speak with, it feels like the world is coming apart. Floods, fires, political turmoil, wars.
There’s constant division, outrage and tragedy.
A question many of us are holding - Is everything actually getting worse, or does it just feel that way?
Some global risks are increasing. It’s undeniable.
But what’s also increased even more is our exposure to what is happening.
We were never meant to carry the emotional weight of the entire planet, in real time, every day.
Our brains evolved for localised threats.
Now we’re absorbing global suffering before breakfast.
To add to this, we have a brain wired to focus on danger, algorithms that reward fear, and 24/7 access to everything, everywhere.
It starts to feel like an onslaught. So how do we stay informed without losing ourselves?
Not by switching off, not by endlessly scrolling, but by being deliberate:
🧠 Choose when you consume the news
🧠 Let go of what you cannot influence
🧠 Anchor locally, control things close to home
🧠 Balance exposure with regulation of emotions through movement, nature, breath, and connection
🧠 Remember that history looks chaotic when you’re living it
Control doesn’t come from worrying or trying to stop the storms.
It comes from learning how to stay steady and choosing to show up and control what we can control.
We can 'work at worrying or work on what is worrying us', our brain is going to work regardless of which one we choose to do.
Let’s talk!
We Must Feel & Express Our Emotions
Powering through, toughening up, putting on your professional mask, and pretending that you are fine.
How often do you spend time trying not to feel things?
The reality is that feeling and expressing emotion is one of our greatest strengths, and bottling emotions up inside is bad for us.
Every time we swallow a feeling, our body stores it somewhere - the chest, the gut, the shoulders.
Unfelt emotions accumulate. That’s where burnout, anxiety, and the 'I don’t feel like myself anymore' feelings can sneak in.
Letting emotions move is how our nervous system resets itself. It’s not weak.
Feeling our emotions actually makes us more creative, not less so.
Think about the last time your creative juices flowed. Were you freely able to be yourself, or were you holding an emotion back?
Creativity does not come from a blank mind; it comes from being connected to ourself, our experiences, our curiosity, and even our frustrations.
When we allow emotions to flow, ideas spark, and solutions appear.
If we want to innovate, we’ve got to feel.
So how do we start to express ourselves at work without oversharing?
It's easier than you might think. A simple, 'That was a tough meeting' or 'I was afraid of where that might lead us' can change the whole dynamic.
Here are a few examples:
✔️ Name what you feel (briefly) - “I’m feeling a bit stretched today", or “I’m excited about this.”
✔️ Pair the emotion with purpose - "I’m frustrated because I want us to get this right.”
✔️ Use inclusive language - "Did you feel, Did you notice, or Are you experiencing..."
Start small; these small moments of authenticity build trust over time.
We weren’t designed to be emotionless creatures; we were designed to be deeply feeling and deeply connected to each other.
When we allow ourselves to truly feel, we find clarity, creativity, connection, confidence, and maybe ironically, strength.
Not the brittle kind that cracks, the resilient kind that bends, adapts, and grows. Adaptable.
Be human again, it’s what we’re built for.
Let's talk!