Turn Anxiety Into Excitement!

The feelings we experience during anxiety (a fearful/worried state) and the feelings we experience during excitement are physiologically the same. In both situations we breathe shorter and shallower, our heart beats faster, cortisol surges through our veins, and the body prepares for the action of fight or flight.

The only difference between the two is that excitement is a positive emotion whereas fear is not. Alison Wood Brooks from Harvard Business School discovered that people who reappraise their feelings of anxiousness as excitement, felt more excited and performed better in most situations.

When in a state of anxiety, we are reacting from our limbic system, the automatic part of our brain where no thought is required. We are in panic mode to react quickly. When we are excited, the same thing happens, we are reacting from our limbic system. So, what is the advantage of turning anxiety into excitement? When excited we are more likely to take on the challenge.

Fear is an emotion used to keep us safe, usually by avoiding the situation or by going through it with so much caution that we won't perform at our best. If we continually avoid a situation each time that we became fearful we would never learn from the experience and would remain static (stagnant).

It is about changing the way we view our reaction - are we afraid or are we excited? Always choose the latter.

Here's how to change anxiety into excitement. Whenever you feel in a state of anxiety or fear, follow these steps:

  1. Tell yourself repeatedly that you are excited about what is happening around you. If applicable, say it aloud.

  2. Remember that the emotional reaction you are feeling is the exact same reaction as being excited.

  3. Feel the excitement, notice the feeling in your stomach, notice your fast breathing and your heart pounding.

  4. Slow your breathing by taking longer and deeper breathes - slowly inhale for as long as possible, slowly exhale for as long as possible.

  5. Now notice your feelings again, they are the same but 'feel' more positive. Embrace that feeling, get comfortable with it.

Notice the difference, they are the same feelings however your outlook will have changed, you will be in a positive mindset to take on what is confronting you. Simply slow your breathing by inhaling and exhaling deeper. Slowing our breathing slows our heart rate which slows our thoughts, and we will be more likely to take on what's challenging us.

The more I read about the brain the more it is evident that working against it, i.e., forcing ourselves to calm down in an anxious situation, the less likely we are to succeed. It is difficult to calm down with high levels of adrenaline and cortisol surging through our body and brain. Forcing our thoughts does not work, usually it makes things worse.

Simply, changing our physiological response by slowing our breathing results in us more likely to overcome our anxiety and fears. Furthermore, focusing on the positive outcome of overcoming what is causing the anxiety rather than just focusing on the negative emotions will increase the opportunity to turn anxiety into excitement.

As we move into the 2023 working year, we will all be facing new challenges. Start the year with a positive mindset of taking on all new challenges in both your work and personal life, don't shy away from them. For we are all better and stronger than we think we are, we just need to keep reminding ourselves of it.

Getting comfortable with the uncomfortable makes the uncomfortable more comfortable. Just slow your breathing!

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You Are Stronger Than You Think You Are.

Your mind and body are stronger than you think!

I recently completed a 6km obstacle course, Ultimate Athlete. A challenging course along the sand (yep, sand running!) with 20 obstacles including a skate ramp, inverted wall and jerry can carry.

Unfortunately, in the days prior, I faced an early obstacle (pun intended). Battling a case of food poisoning. The night before the big day, I was up sick for most of the night and had very little sleep.

On the morning of the race, in crept that little voice, you know the one:

🗣️ “You’re not a runner.”

🗣️ “You have just had food poisoning. Are you insane?”

🗣️ “Everyone else there is so much fitter than you.”

🗣️ “You aren’t strong enough to complete those obstacles.”

🗣️ “You might be sick on the course.”

🗣️ “You will look stupid when you don’t finish”

🗣️ “This is something your father would do!”

6:30 am - decision time. To let the team know I couldn’t make it, rest and catch a bit of FOMO – or show up.

Couldn’t let the team down, who does that? I told my team that I would be there, and I want to be there for them. The worst-case scenario is: to arrive and be too sick to complete the race. It’s game time. Down a little concoction – electrolytes, an anti-nausea pill and a shot of espresso. The next minute, there I am standing with my team at the start line ready to head off for the beach run.

Guess what happened? No throwing up. Ran (almost) the entire way. When the thought of giving up came to mind – those around me gave me an extra boost to keep going.

I completed the race and got a cool medal to show for it.

Now, let’s break down some of the thoughts I had prior:

“I’m not a runner.” I have always told myself this. However, knowing this challenge was coming up, I had been heading out for runs, trying to tick something off I wouldn’t normally do. Taking the small steps to make this big thing happen. 

“You’ve been sick. Are you insane?” – potentially true, but this kind of self-talk is a little harsh don’t you think? Let’s reframe it, “Haley, you are so ambitious.” – hah.

“Everyone else is so much fitter than you.” Also accurate, but if we all thought this way - none of us would achieve anything.

“You aren’t strong enough to complete those obstacles.” Turns out this one was also true. With the support of my team, however, I got through it. We can achieve more than the mental barriers we set for ourselves with the right people around us.

“You might be sick on the course.” A perfectly valid concern - my risk management tool (mind) is working as it should be here.

“This is something your father would do.” Comes across as a little aggressive, and perhaps a little critical towards him (love you, Lance Burdett!). Note: his first comment after finding out what I did was, whilst shaking his head, “Haley, you are too much like me.” In reality, how much has he achieved? Is he successful? Is he doing things he never thought he could? I think we all know the answer to that – perhaps following in his footsteps IS the right thing to do.

So, would I recommend you do what I did, and complete a race on very little fuel and very little sleep? No... You might ask why I’m sharing all this then. To show how we are all better and stronger than we think we are. We can push past our barriers, and we can work with that little voice inside of us. We can take on challenges that come our way or we can retreat from them. Growth comes from doing, not from retreating.

Additionally, having good people around us who are willing to lift us up - whether that be by cheering you on from the sidelines or by literally hoisting you up – (as pictured) can make a world of difference to your achieving your goals.

Haley Burdett - Online Learning Manager - WARN International Ltd

#mindhealth #mentalhealth #personalgrowth #personaldevelopment #courage #goals #goalsetting

Managing An Angry Person.

When people are in a heightened state, they can find it hard to focus on rational thoughts.

➡️ Often, saying nothing or simply agreeing with how they feel can help reduce conflict.

Here are some other tips for dealing with the angry 😡:

👉 Stand tall with your head up, shoulders back, and hands by your side. This shows that you are ready to listen, and also indicates that you are not going to be submissive.

👉 Listen to what they are saying. When they have finished their 'vent', paraphrase back to them what they said related to the facts of what they are yelling about. (i.e., you are here to talk about .....).

👉 Reduce your eye contact to half of what you would usually do, 30% instead of 60%.

👉 The person will come at you again, repeat the process. Keep your hand movements to a minimum.

👉 If you can, hold something in your hand such as a notebook or pen. This will help relax your facial muscles and give you the feeling of support. (Try it now, stand up with your hands by your side without anything in your hands and then pick something up. Note how you feel more relaxed yet confident).

👉 If you can, invite the person to sit down. This will reduce their anger as they won't have a strong foundation on which to rage.

👉 Go through their issue without taking any notes, this is called free recall. Ask them to go through it again and tell them that this time you will be taking notes. Going through it twice reduces the tension, clarifies the situation, and allows them to tell their story at least twice to ease built-up tension.

👉 If you can, get them to make notes also. When we write words by forming letters we go to our logic brain rather than remain in our emotional brain. Use the word important throughout the conversation, because it is important to them.

Is Journaling Worth It?

✍️ Journaling - is it worth the effort?

We are all different, what works for one person may not work for another.

For me, I prefer only to record the good things. As another friend described "The glass half full approach". For me, writing something bad down to change or to avoid it next time does not work. If journaling what you want to change or to avoid works for you when bad situations occur then go for it.

Here are my tips if you wish to get started:

💪 Reinforce your strengths: Write down three strengths and when you use them - write down the positive result

📈 Improve your strengths - Write down the areas you wish to improve on, and how you might do that

🙏 Gratitude: List 5 things you are grateful for - then write out how you can engage in activities that include one or more of those things in your life. For a simpler approach, start with writing just one thing you are grateful for each day.

➡️ Change something: Write down what it is that you want to change and how you could best introduce that change by doing one thing each day towards that goal.

It's Not Always About The Material Gift This Christmas.

With all of the Black Friday and Cyber Monday deals around, it has got us thinking... Material things - can they make us happy?

It is said that material items cannot bring us true happiness because happiness cannot be purchased. Once you buy that thing you've been hankering after, the excitement wears off. It's only a temporary distraction, and the more you have the more you crave. The reality is, having less stuff equals less stress.

There are, however, some things we can buy that will make us happier. Buying experiences has a longer-lasting benefit to our wellness than buying material items because experiences such as holidays will long be remembered. Plus, it has been found that memories of holidays distort over time so that we only recall the happiest parts of them.

Additionally, numerous studies have shown that buying something for someone else makes us much happier than spending money on ourselves. Again, this seems counter-intuitive.

🤝 The common link is sociability - or as I like to refer to as socialisation. When we spend money on an experience it is more often than not that we are spending it with another person, we are sharing the experience. When we give to another, we are again sharing the experience.

It is then perhaps not so surprising that you don't actually have to give material items to receive the benefits of giving. And, more importantly, you don't have to do it every day apparently. Doing something nice for someone else; helping a friend out, giving blood, or volunteering for a not-for-profit are all ways to gain greater long-lasting happiness than buying a material item for yourself.

I still enjoy my material items and I am not for a moment suggesting you shouldn’t shop to make yourself happy. By all means if it works, do it. Attaching an emotion to the material item is what I look for.

💛 Lastly, a simple act of kindness to another will make you happier for longer and is something that you will probably never forget.

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