You Are Stronger Than You Think You Are.

Your mind and body are stronger than you think!

I recently completed a 6km obstacle course, Ultimate Athlete. A challenging course along the sand (yep, sand running!) with 20 obstacles including a skate ramp, inverted wall and jerry can carry.

Unfortunately, in the days prior, I faced an early obstacle (pun intended). Battling a case of food poisoning. The night before the big day, I was up sick for most of the night and had very little sleep.

On the morning of the race, in crept that little voice, you know the one:

🗣️ “You’re not a runner.”

🗣️ “You have just had food poisoning. Are you insane?”

🗣️ “Everyone else there is so much fitter than you.”

🗣️ “You aren’t strong enough to complete those obstacles.”

🗣️ “You might be sick on the course.”

🗣️ “You will look stupid when you don’t finish”

🗣️ “This is something your father would do!”

6:30 am - decision time. To let the team know I couldn’t make it, rest and catch a bit of FOMO – or show up.

Couldn’t let the team down, who does that? I told my team that I would be there, and I want to be there for them. The worst-case scenario is: to arrive and be too sick to complete the race. It’s game time. Down a little concoction – electrolytes, an anti-nausea pill and a shot of espresso. The next minute, there I am standing with my team at the start line ready to head off for the beach run.

Guess what happened? No throwing up. Ran (almost) the entire way. When the thought of giving up came to mind – those around me gave me an extra boost to keep going.

I completed the race and got a cool medal to show for it.

Now, let’s break down some of the thoughts I had prior:

“I’m not a runner.” I have always told myself this. However, knowing this challenge was coming up, I had been heading out for runs, trying to tick something off I wouldn’t normally do. Taking the small steps to make this big thing happen. 

“You’ve been sick. Are you insane?” – potentially true, but this kind of self-talk is a little harsh don’t you think? Let’s reframe it, “Haley, you are so ambitious.” – hah.

“Everyone else is so much fitter than you.” Also accurate, but if we all thought this way - none of us would achieve anything.

“You aren’t strong enough to complete those obstacles.” Turns out this one was also true. With the support of my team, however, I got through it. We can achieve more than the mental barriers we set for ourselves with the right people around us.

“You might be sick on the course.” A perfectly valid concern - my risk management tool (mind) is working as it should be here.

“This is something your father would do.” Comes across as a little aggressive, and perhaps a little critical towards him (love you, Lance Burdett!). Note: his first comment after finding out what I did was, whilst shaking his head, “Haley, you are too much like me.” In reality, how much has he achieved? Is he successful? Is he doing things he never thought he could? I think we all know the answer to that – perhaps following in his footsteps IS the right thing to do.

So, would I recommend you do what I did, and complete a race on very little fuel and very little sleep? No... You might ask why I’m sharing all this then. To show how we are all better and stronger than we think we are. We can push past our barriers, and we can work with that little voice inside of us. We can take on challenges that come our way or we can retreat from them. Growth comes from doing, not from retreating.

Additionally, having good people around us who are willing to lift us up - whether that be by cheering you on from the sidelines or by literally hoisting you up – (as pictured) can make a world of difference to your achieving your goals.

Haley Burdett - Online Learning Manager - WARN International Ltd

#mindhealth #mentalhealth #personalgrowth #personaldevelopment #courage #goals #goalsetting

Managing An Angry Person.

When people are in a heightened state, they can find it hard to focus on rational thoughts.

➡️ Often, saying nothing or simply agreeing with how they feel can help reduce conflict.

Here are some other tips for dealing with the angry 😡:

👉 Stand tall with your head up, shoulders back, and hands by your side. This shows that you are ready to listen, and also indicates that you are not going to be submissive.

👉 Listen to what they are saying. When they have finished their 'vent', paraphrase back to them what they said related to the facts of what they are yelling about. (i.e., you are here to talk about .....).

👉 Reduce your eye contact to half of what you would usually do, 30% instead of 60%.

👉 The person will come at you again, repeat the process. Keep your hand movements to a minimum.

👉 If you can, hold something in your hand such as a notebook or pen. This will help relax your facial muscles and give you the feeling of support. (Try it now, stand up with your hands by your side without anything in your hands and then pick something up. Note how you feel more relaxed yet confident).

👉 If you can, invite the person to sit down. This will reduce their anger as they won't have a strong foundation on which to rage.

👉 Go through their issue without taking any notes, this is called free recall. Ask them to go through it again and tell them that this time you will be taking notes. Going through it twice reduces the tension, clarifies the situation, and allows them to tell their story at least twice to ease built-up tension.

👉 If you can, get them to make notes also. When we write words by forming letters we go to our logic brain rather than remain in our emotional brain. Use the word important throughout the conversation, because it is important to them.

Is Journaling Worth It?

✍️ Journaling - is it worth the effort?

We are all different, what works for one person may not work for another.

For me, I prefer only to record the good things. As another friend described "The glass half full approach". For me, writing something bad down to change or to avoid it next time does not work. If journaling what you want to change or to avoid works for you when bad situations occur then go for it.

Here are my tips if you wish to get started:

💪 Reinforce your strengths: Write down three strengths and when you use them - write down the positive result

📈 Improve your strengths - Write down the areas you wish to improve on, and how you might do that

🙏 Gratitude: List 5 things you are grateful for - then write out how you can engage in activities that include one or more of those things in your life. For a simpler approach, start with writing just one thing you are grateful for each day.

➡️ Change something: Write down what it is that you want to change and how you could best introduce that change by doing one thing each day towards that goal.

It's Not Always About The Material Gift This Christmas.

With all of the Black Friday and Cyber Monday deals around, it has got us thinking... Material things - can they make us happy?

It is said that material items cannot bring us true happiness because happiness cannot be purchased. Once you buy that thing you've been hankering after, the excitement wears off. It's only a temporary distraction, and the more you have the more you crave. The reality is, having less stuff equals less stress.

There are, however, some things we can buy that will make us happier. Buying experiences has a longer-lasting benefit to our wellness than buying material items because experiences such as holidays will long be remembered. Plus, it has been found that memories of holidays distort over time so that we only recall the happiest parts of them.

Additionally, numerous studies have shown that buying something for someone else makes us much happier than spending money on ourselves. Again, this seems counter-intuitive.

🤝 The common link is sociability - or as I like to refer to as socialisation. When we spend money on an experience it is more often than not that we are spending it with another person, we are sharing the experience. When we give to another, we are again sharing the experience.

It is then perhaps not so surprising that you don't actually have to give material items to receive the benefits of giving. And, more importantly, you don't have to do it every day apparently. Doing something nice for someone else; helping a friend out, giving blood, or volunteering for a not-for-profit are all ways to gain greater long-lasting happiness than buying a material item for yourself.

I still enjoy my material items and I am not for a moment suggesting you shouldn’t shop to make yourself happy. By all means if it works, do it. Attaching an emotion to the material item is what I look for.

💛 Lastly, a simple act of kindness to another will make you happier for longer and is something that you will probably never forget.

How Are We So Lucky In Business?

Pondering this morning at the end of a very busy week, sitting tired and content in the lounge at home, thinking how lucky we are in our business. What got us to a point where this week I presented to diverse organisations such as Mini Storage, Emergency Care Training Providers, 3 rural communities in Otago, Network Waitaki, the senior leadership group of Auckland Hospital, Astute Financial, and the Public Trust Office.

The 'three H's are a big factor in our work - Honesty, Humility, and Humanity - would best describe our fortune.

Honesty - "No we can't do that, what we can do though is...." "Yes, it is based on valid neuroscience and research which we can provide to you." "This is not something we specialise in; we do have connections who can do that for you." "These techniques won't work every time, just the majority of the time." If you are honest then you will always meet expectations.

Humility - "We do not try to change people, just guide them." "I am not an expert in anything, we are specialists in certain areas." "My mistake, you are right, absolutely, I can't disagree with you." Being humble places you beside people, not above them. None of us have all the answers, we can simply try to assist with the skills we have gained.

Humanity - "We have reduced our fee for you given the wonderful work that you do." On this occasion we will allow you to record the presentation for those who can't make it." "Yes, we do provide pro-bono presentations for organisations such as yours, those who help others who cannot help themselves." "We also provide complementary..." Always say yes for organisations who help people, particularly children, and who have no means to fund the presentation. Give back for the luck you have received. As a species, we have survived by working together.

There is a fourth 'H' - humour. Make people laugh, appropriate to the audience of course. There is no doubt that laughter is the best medicine when we are struggling.

As I look ahead to the end of the year, we are lucky to be fully booked and now booking into next year. How lucky are we? The 4 H's I suspect has a lot to do with it. Plus, surrounding yourself with good people, in our case it is family who do wonderful things in our business with each playing their part to support those we help. And, a bit of hard work also helps.

I do not know how the universe works: luck, happenstance, coincidence, karma. What I do know without any doubt, the more you give the more you get back. What a wonderful world we live in ❤.

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