Short or Long, Many or Few?

Last week I posted a series of short posts on ways to reduce stress - one per day. I was asked a question, "Why are your posts so short, I would love to read more of them." Another person asked me "Why do you post so frequently instead of publishing just one post every so often?"

My reply to both of these questions, "Because?" I publish whenever I have read new research, whenever someone has asked me about a particular topic, whenever I have met with someone who would like to know more on what is at the forefront of their mind, or as simple as when the 'mood' is right.

Like all business communications, there is no right or wrong answer to these two questions. If we communicate too often some will complain, not enough and others will complain, too much information and the communication is unlikely to be read, too little and it might easily be dismissed.

Personally, I like communications to be short, sharp and to the point. I enjoy reading posts but don't have a great deal of time in which to do so. The shorter the better for me. You might be the same, or you might prefer reading longer posts.

When I post, unless I state otherwise, all of the content is based on the latest research. What do I mean by research, whatever is relevant for the majority of people based on data gathering, empirical evidence, qualitative research, and the like. Generalisations might be another term.

I will continue to publish as much as I can in as many short posts as possible for those who like them this way. For those who prefer longer posts, save a few of them up and read them in one sitting as most of the posts I publish are linked in some way.

Lastly, thank you for those who have reached out to me. Whether you asked for more information on particular topic, requested the reference, or have offered your own opinion, again I thank you and ask that you please keep doing so.

Let me know your thoughts - short or long? After all, without you there is little point in me posting....  

STRESS Made Easy - 5.

Talk more, it's as easy as that. As a prolific reader of research, books, articles, flyers and everything else that I can find in my quest to identify ways of reducing negative pressure (stress), by far the most talked about method (pun intended) of reducing cortisol levels (an indicator of stress) is to talk more.

A recent study right here in New Zealand confirmed that the more we talk with other people the more relaxed we are. The caveat obviously is that you have to talk with someone you enjoy talking with otherwise the reverse will occur!

I could endlessly espouse the many benefits of talking, take it from me that it is THE best thing that you can do to help your well-being. If you don't believe me, try going for a day or two without talking with anyone - isolation can cause extreme stress that's why it is used as punishment for those who are incarcerated and in torture. Convinced yet?

How does talking reduce your stress levels;

• It helps rationalise your thoughts as you verbalise them.
• Worrying silently about your problems will only exaggerate them.
• Having someone independent can bring a new perspective to the table. 
• If you're talking to someone who is neutral, they are less likely to be biased. 
• Talking relieves pressure - a problem shared is a problem halved.

Talking was all that we had when we wanted to communicate with others, for thousands of years it was like this. It is only in the last 30 years or so that we don't have to communicate face-to-face. And because of that we no longer know how to listen, how to read visual cues, how to express ourselves as we once did.

Bottom line, talking is part of socialisation, a human need. So what are you waiting for? Let's talk.

STRESS Made Easy - 4.

Smile, just smile. Another simple thing in this series of stress buster techniques that you can do to manage stress is as easy as, smiling.

When we are under the pump for too long, our brain tends to focus on the negative of everything. Our response to this is to keep busy and as a result the pressure becomes worse. One of the first 'human' things to go is eye contact, we don't want to look at other people. The second thing to happen is that we isolate ourselves from those around us to protect ourselves.

Another 'human' act we dispense with is our smile. Apart from the fact that our brain tells us that there isn't much to smile about, all of our energy is focussed on survival. Essentially we shut off and shut down. We do the very things that make it worse for us. I often tell people to do the opposite of what your brain tells you when you are under pressure.

Let's talk about smiling, why is it so beneficial to our well-being?

Smiling releases neuropeptides which are tiny molecules that allow our neurons (brain bits) to communicate. They send messages to our entire body when we feel emotions such as happy, sad, angry, depressed, and excited. Additionally, the 'feel good' neurotransmitters of dopamine, endorphins and serotonin are released when we smile.

The immediate benefit not only relaxes us, it can lower our heart rate and blood pressure, act as a natural pain reliever, and serves as a quick anti-depressant. (Before you get too excited, those who are on anti-depressants should continue with them).

How does smiling work? There are two sets of muscles - one set on either side of your mouth and another set around your eyes - that are unique to smiling. If they aren't all engaged at the same time, then smiling won't change your mood.

Your smile must be as genuine as possible, or at the very least your brain must think that your smile is genuine. If you cannot bring yourself to produce a genuine smile, any smile is at least a start.

There is another technique related to smiling that has been proven to be very effective. Place a pencil sideways between your lips and bite down on the pencil. This will engage the relevant muscles associated with smiling and simulate a genuine smile. Yes, you can trick your brain. You may want to do this one at home rather than when out in the public.

Another fact, did you know that women smile more than men? Perhaps this is just another reason why women are under-represented in depression and suicide compared with men. That, and they talk about their issues more openly than men do.

I hope that made you smile!

STRESS Made Easy - 3

"Slow down or you will get hurt" she said, "Take your time or you'll make a mistake" he said, "Less haste, less waste" they said. "What do these people know about me" I said. Parents, they know nothing about today's busy life. Probably not, but their advice stands the test of time.

It is all great advice to get up early and exercise to start the day, to have a list of tasks so that you can remain focussed, to have a diary of your day's appointments, to have a coffee date with a colleague, to be involved in a club or committee, to volunteer for a community group, and the list goes on.

The busier we get the busier we get. No, that's not a grammatical error, the busier we get, the busier we get. A classic example; those people who get up early to go to the gym or to meditate or to do some recreational activity before work. Ever noticed how you tend to wake up earlier and earlier each day? I did it, I was going to the gym at 6am, then at 5.30, then at 5. All the time telling myself I can cram more into my day.

The busier we get the better we feel. Why, adrenaline. Our adrenal glands produce adrenaline by transforming tyrosine into dopamine. What's dopamine, a 'feel good' chemical that is associated with our reward system. The bad side of dopamine, it destroys your health with overuse.

Suddenly, the list of tasks that we made becomes obsolete, our appointment schedule is out the window, when we have coffee with a colleague we talk solely about work or maybe cancel it altogether, we start to skip club meetings or arrive late, and spend less and less time in our passion, community work. Does this sound like you?

As we get busier and faster we start to do many things at once and often it takes us longer because we make mistakes or do them badly. As we make mistakes we work harder to correct the errors and so more mistakes occur because we are rushing. Slow down, just slow down.

If you need to get something done quickly, by all means go for it. But don't rush it, control yourself. I was fortunate enough to have worked with the most elite tactical groups in the police, military, prisons, and with the FBI. They all used the same mantra - "Slow is smooth, smooth is fast". Say this to yourself when you an urgent task to take care of, watch how fast you get it done.

It is important to break the 'busyness' habit. How, mindfulness. Not mindfulness in the traditional sense. In our topic of 'busyness' this means concentrating on doing one thing at one time and doing it well. Keep your brain focussed on the one task at hand.

What else can you do to slow yourself down? Have 30-minutes of 'you time'. Spend just 30-minutes doing what you want to do, doing something that makes you happy. Try not to have any external stimulation such as a phone, music, driving, or some other distraction. Just you, in your own thoughts, for thirty minutes.

I am sorry to have to tell you this, the world will keep going without you for that thirty minutes. It's all about perspective.

STRESS Made Easy - 2

"Why am I so hard on myself?" I caught myself saying. "Why are things so hard", Why does it always happen to me", "Why do I worry so much", and "Why is the world against me?" These are things that we often ask ourselves, or worse, ask of others.

The reality for most of us is that the world isn't against us, we are simply looking at the negatives rather than the positives.

During the fight or flight response, our sympathetic nervous system is engaged and all hell breaks loose in our brain and body. If this happens often enough our brain will get into a pattern of behaviour and react negatively more and more often.

We then start to look continuously for negatives as our body goes into panic mode. It becomes a habit, a very bad one at that.

It is easy to say "All you have to do is to change your thoughts", and as we know it is much harder to do. The best way that I have found, as do many others, is to breathe correctly.

So what is a good breath - it is a long slow deep quiet intake of air to fill your lungs completely and then slowly release it taking the same time to breathe out as it did to breathe in.

In meditation, they will teach you breathe in for five seconds, hold your breath for five seconds and breathe out for five seconds. But we aren't doing meditation, we are learning how to breathe again.

Breathe in and out like this whenever you feel yourself getting angry, after a nervous event, when you feel uptight or anxious, and when you find yourself talking negatively.

Be careful not to take too many long, slow, deep, quiet breaths - you may become dizzy and in some people it can have the opposite effect. Just three of these long, slow, deep, quiet breaths is enough.

As you breathe like this, it much easier to change your thought patterns as a result. When you change your thought process you begin to engage your parasympathetic nervous system which opposes the sympathetic nervous system used in fight or flight mode.

If all of this breathing stuff sounds a bit too much for you, you could always use the tried and true method of changing your thoughts through a bit of NLP - every time you catch yourself in negative self-talk or worrying, flick a rubber band that is around your wrist. The pain will disrupt the pattern of behaviour. Many, many people have found this option helpful, but unfortunately they still need to learn to breathe properly.

It takes between 60 to 80 days to change a habit from the old to the new so you do have to work at learning to breathe properly again. But isn't everything good worth working for?