My car recently developed a new hobby of not starting.
It began with a flat battery. No problem, we all have bad days. I jump-started it and carried on.
The next morning, flat battery, jump-start. The morning after, etc., etc.
By day four, I was starting to think my car had entered a toxic phase of hating to leave home.
Every morning felt like Groundhog Day, except Bill Murray probably had a battery charger.
Eventually, I called a mechanic.
I explained that I travel extensively for work, often around the upper North Island and that my car had become about as reliable as New Zealand weather forecasts.
The mechanic listened carefully, reflected thoughtfully and delivered the greatest understatement in Kiwi history.
"That's unhelpful."
That's unhelpful, really? Not: That must be incredibly frustrating, or Let's get this sorted quickly, or Heck mate, that's a pain.
Nope.
It got me thinking about all the masters of understatement we meet in life. The ones who respond to devastation with the emotional intensity of a wet flannel.
You lose your job - "Could be worse."
Your boat sinks - "Well, you won't need to clean it now."
Worse still, your life is falling apart - "Look on the bright side."
My personal favourite - "At least nobody died." Which, if we're honest, covers an awful lot of situations.
Accidentally sent an email to the wrong person? Actually, in that case, death may have seemed preferable.
The funny thing is that most people who say these things mean well. They're trying to help, to make us feel better.
Sometimes what we really want isn't a solution, we just want someone to acknowledge that what happened was a bit crap.
Just once I'd love a mechanic to look me in the eye and say: "Mate, that's bloody annoying, let's get you sorted and back on the road."
Maybe that's the lesson.
Before we jump straight to finding the positive, perhaps we should spend a few moments recognising the frustration.
After all, feeling understood is often more helpful than hearing that things could have been worse.
Validation!
If my car battery dies again tomorrow morning, I'll probably just stand there, look at it, and say "Well that's unhelpful."
Let’s talk!
The Understatement!