Why is everything getting to me?
Lately, I’ve been feeling it.
A build-up of things not quite landing the way I thought they would.
So, as I always do, I went back to the neuroscience research, and the answer surprised me.
Disappointment isn’t a flaw, it’s a signal.
Our brain is constantly trying to predict the future. How things will go, how people will respond, how life should unfold.
When reality doesn’t match that prediction, it fires what’s known as a prediction error.
A measurable neural signal driven by dopamine that says: “That’s not what we expected.”
That ugly hollow feeling? Well, that’s disappointment.
Recent research shows it’s not just outcomes we mispredict, it’s how we expect to feel!
When that also misses our prediction, the brain registers an emotional prediction error.
Now it makes sense.
Maybe it’s not just us; maybe it’s that the world has become harder to predict.
More change, more uncertainty, more gaps between expectation and reality. Therefore, we feel it more. Here’s how I now reframe it – my brain isn’t trying to stop me, it’s trying to adjust me for the new world.
After any disappointment, it recalibrates, learns, and builds motivation to go again.
So now, when disappointment hits, I ask:
👉 What did I expect?
👉 What actually happened?
👉 What do I change next time?
If you’ve been feeling it too, that sense of things not quite landing how you hoped, know that there’s nothing “wrong” with you.
Your brain is doing exactly what it was designed to do - adjust, learn, and survive.
At the core of everything we’ve ever been through as humans, it’s adaptation that’s kept us here.
Keep feeling the feeling and change one thing next time to rationalise the outcome and feeling.
Let’s talk!
Why Is Everything Getting To Me?