In the early days of running workshops, I would actively seek out negative feedback to find where I thought I had gone wrong.
If I’m honest, I often defended myself internally.
That’s just them.
What would they know?
They don’t get the work.
The feedback felt like a threat.
These days, I still seek out challenging feedback, but for very different reasons - to see what I can learn and improve on.
There’s another blind spot I’ve come to recognise, when I focus solely on negative feedback, I miss something just as important.
The opportunity to acknowledge, absorb and savour the positive feedback.
Our brains are wired with a negativity bias; we look for danger by comparison.
Many of us scan for what’s wrong. Whether it’s in our work, our relationships, or our days. We move straight past what’s going well.
I often say it’s not about stopping to smell the roses, but taking time to admire them makes a real difference to our wellbeing.
Recently, I received some genuinely positive feedback – “A big thank you for your fantastic presentation and the genuine way you connected with everyone, it truly made the day memorable. The content you shared resonated deeply.”
Instead of skimming over it or brushing it off, I read it slowly and sat with it. I felt content.
It reminded me why the work we do is so important and reconnected me to my sense of purpose.
How often do you deliberately look for what’s going right or let positive feedback stay with you for more than a few seconds?
Simple reflections on the small positives, the kind we usually rush past, can remarkably improve our sense of self-worth.
Growth isn’t just about fixing what’s wrong. Sometimes, it’s about finally allowing ourselves to acknowledge what’s right.
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