Over the last few years of running workshops on identifying and using personal values, one thing continues to inspire me - the impact that understanding your values has on your calm, your clarity and your connection with others.
Our values are always at work, whether we’ve identified them or not.
👉 When we feel triggered, it’s often because a value has been offended.
👉 When something doesn’t feel right, it’s usually because it doesn’t align with what matters most to us.
👉 When something plays on our mind, it’s often because either we or someone else has acted against a value we hold deeply. What we often miss are the other costs of not understanding our values:
👉 Chronic frustration or resentment without knowing why.
👉 Decision fatigue, overthinking choices that should feel clearer.
👉 People-pleasing that slowly erodes self-respect.
👉 Reacting emotionally instead of responding intentionally.
👉 Feeling disconnected from work, relationships, or even yourself.
When values stay unconscious, they don’t disappear; they simply run the show from the background.
Yet when you know them, you gain a language for your reactions, you strengthen your decision-making, and you feel steadier in difficult conversations. I
’ve included an image containing our primary values. Follow this process to find your top primary values: 1️⃣ Read every word (English or Māori) without a pen in your hand.
2️⃣ Read every word a second time, this time writing down, circling underlining or putting a mark next to the words that resonate with you. Words that give you a good feeling, words you know are who you are.
3️⃣ Now select the top five of the words you’ve marked – they are your solid values to guide you.
If you’ve ever wondered why certain moments hit harder than others, or why some decisions feel peaceful and others exhausting – start with your values.
They’ve been guiding you all along.
Let’s talk!