When grief comes, it doesn’t ask permission. We’re often told to stay strong, to hold it together, to be positive.
I believed that for years, until life taught me a deeper lesson: feelings don’t disappear when we ignore them; they just go quiet and go inward.
In my TEDx talk, I shared how suppressing emotions can pile stress onto the body and brain.
It can look like fatigue we can’t shake, irritability we can’t explain, or numbness that creeps into the best parts of our lives.
In grief, I’ve learned from two people I deeply respect: Dr Lucy Hone and Dr Denise Quinlan.
Their work doesn’t offer quick fixes. It offers something better – permission.
Permission to honour your pain and to keep living alongside it.
Denise facilitated my Diploma in Positive Psychology and Wellbeing; her presence modelled compassion in action.
I have admired Lucy’s work for many years, which I try to emulate – practical, kind and real.
There is no right way to grieve, only your way.
Some people speak. Some write. Some move, garden, pray, surf, build, sit quietly, or cry loudly.
The point isn’t to perform resilience; the point is to practice it.
As a family, we have been through tremendous grief, as have we all.
Sharing emotions hasn’t made the grief vanish. It has made room for love to keep breathing.
If you’re reading this in the thick of it, here’s what I hope you hear today:
❤️🩹 Your way of grieving is valid.
❤️🩹 You can let your feelings out slowly.
❤️🩹 You don’t have to be okay to be loved.
❤️🩹 Help is a strength, not a verdict.
If you have the capacity, check in on someone quietly carrying a heavy load. Not with solutions, just with presence. Ask one kind question and stay for the answer.
Thank you, Dr Lucy Hone and Dr Denise Quinlan, for your practical, compassionate wisdom.
And to anyone navigating loss, we are with you.
Let’s talk!
Navigating Grief.