“Don’t cry.”
“Stay strong.”
“Never let them see you sweat.”
Sound familiar?
For centuries, we’ve worn this armour.
The word human comes from the Latin word humanus, meaning kind, compassionate, real and genuine. Yet somewhere along the way, we changed these rules.
Enter Stoicism. Born to help people endure hardship with reason and resilience, its purpose was noble. But over time, the message twisted: strength became silence, and vulnerability became weakness.
I first noticed it in myself. Years ago, I realised I was holding back emotions, thinking that it would make me stronger.
Then, as a crisis negotiator, I began to see the same pattern in people at their breaking point. They were in deep pain yet fighting to keep a mask of control. That mask didn’t help – it isolated them.
We were never meant to be perfect; we were meant to be connected.
Here’s what neuroscience tells us: emotions are survival tools.
Emotions are chemical signals that prepare the brain and body for action, and when we suppress them, they don’t disappear; they just go deep underground and fester.
Cortisol rises. The prefrontal cortex shuts down. And we don’t tell others how we are feeling.
Sharing emotions, whether verbally or through visible cues, rewires the brain for safety and a sense of belonging. The strongest thing you can do is feel and let others feel with you.
Despite what some may tell you, the world needs more empathy than ever before.
Our brain is now hyper-vigilant and needs to return to our hardwired compassionate self.
Let’s talk!
Don't' Cry, Stay Strong!