I was humbled and honoured to be asked to return for a fourth year to provide a keynote at the United Fire Brigades Association annual conference.
This is a huge event for firefighters in New Zealand, and for those privileged to present. Hundreds filled the room, with thousands more joining online.
Of course, I was nervous. It was a presentation I’d never done before, built around the theme “Responding to Tomorrow”, with my focus on “Does Technology Affect Our Performance?”
What I shared was simple: when people are in need, they don’t look for technology, they look for humanity.
A gentle hand on the shoulder, a touch on the arm, the holding of a hand when all feels lost.
It’s the people that matter – those in need, and those who help them.
One message resonated deeply: those with big hearts often feel they’re too sensitive.
They hope to toughen up, or they build a protective shell to show strength on the outside while pushing away emotions that make them want to cry.
We’re quick to show laughter and anger, the extremes of the emotional spectrum. Yet sadness, tears? Many of us hold those back.
Why? Neuroscience tells us that crying is not weakness; it helps us regulate our emotions.
Emotional tears activate the parasympathetic nervous system, calming the body and releasing oxytocin and endorphins - our natural painkillers and bonding chemicals.
Yet many of us suppress tears. Historically, crying has been stigmatised, particularly for men. We’ve been taught that strength means silence.
But suppression doesn’t erase the emotion; it stores it deep inside. And what’s stored eventually surfaces, often appearing as anxiety, depression, or displaced anger.
Long-term research shows that crying:
✔️ Flushes stress hormones like cortisol.
✔️ Regulates our mood and nervous system.
✔️ Builds emotional resilience.
✔️ Strengthens social connection through empathy
Crying is a release valve. It’s how we metabolise grief, sadness, and feelings of being overwhelmed.
So, if you feel like crying, cry. Behind every strong exterior is a heart that feels deeply.
Let’s talk!
Why We Should Cry More!!