Why am I afraid of the dark?
I travel a lot for work. Hotels, motels, apartments; each one different yet familiar.
Recently, I stayed in a beautiful two-story apartment-style motel.
But as night fell, I found myself closing the bedroom door tightly. Not for privacy, not for safety, not that the space felt too big.
It felt, well, frightening.
I messaged my daughter and asked if she could book me places with just one room from now on. Her reply - “You can be brave 💪.”
You see, I’ve been afraid of the dark for as long as I can remember. As a child, I saw visions in the doorway, people sneaking into our home.
I’d lie frozen in bed, heart pounding, waiting for morning light to make it all go away. Pulling the bed sheets over my head to hide and listening for pending footsteps that never came.
As I grew older, I told myself it was irrational. That night is just the absence of light. That nothing changes between day and night, except that we can see better in the daytime.
Then I joined the police at the age of 35 and spent a third of my 22 years working in the dark. Patrolling streets. Entering homes. Facing danger. And still, the fear of the dark never left me.
Why do we fear the dark? Is it because most crimes happen at night? Is it because we dream more vividly, and sometimes wake up in fright? Is it because darkness hides what we can’t control?
Maybe it’s all of that. Or maybe it’s something deeper, something primal, a reminder that even the strongest among us carry shadows from childhood.
Bravery isn’t the absence of fear, but the willingness to face it. So yes, I still ask for one-room places to stay.
And yes, I will still close the door when I go back there next week.
But I also open up about it because vulnerability is a kind of courage, too.
If you’ve ever felt afraid of something others don’t understand, you’re not alone.
Let’s talk!
Why Am I So Afraid Of The Dark?