With many organisations seeing an increase in angry clients and customers, we are regularly asked the question, "How do we talk to an angry person?"
Often, saying nothing or simply agreeing with how they feel can help reduce conflict.
Here are some other tips for dealing with the angry :
Stand tall with your head up, shoulders back, and hands by your side. This shows that you are open and ready to listen.
Listen to what they are saying. When they have finished their 'vent', paraphrase back to them what they said related to the facts of what they are yelling about. (i.e., you are here to talk about .....).
Reduce your eye contact to half of what you would usually do, 30% instead of 60%.
The person will come at you again, repeat the process. Keep your hand movements to a minimum.
If you can, hold something in your hand such as a notebook or pen. This will help relax your facial muscles and give you the feeling of support. (Try it now, stand up with your hands by your side without anything in your hands and then pick something up. Note how you feel more relaxed yet confident).
If you're able to, invite the person to sit down. This will reduce their anger as they won't have a strong foundation on which to rage.
Go through their issue without taking any notes, this is called free recall. Then ask them to go through it again and tell them that this time you will be taking notes. Going through it twice reduces the tension, clarifies the situation, and allows them to tell their story at least twice to ease built-up tension.
If you can, get them to make notes also. When we write words by forming letters we go to our logic brain rather than remain in our emotional brain.
Throughout the conversation, use words such as important. "I can tell this is important to you." They are in a heightened state because this is important to them, and acknowledging this will support them in feeling acknowledged and validated.
Let's talk!