Guilty As Charged!

I post frequently on ways in which to support our resiliency, in fact I coach on how to be more resilient. And for the most part I follow my own instructions, I use myself as a crash test dummy to see what works and what doesn't. There's no value in not having a vested interest in your product!

I must confess though I still worry. There, I said it. I still worry. And I worried needlessly last night. I let my brain get away on me and that is asking for trouble.

Research tells us that around 50% of worry is hereditary with the remainder being a pattern of behaviour that we have got into. Worry, for a large part, is simply a habit. And for me it has been a lifelong habit that I am starting to gain control of. Perhaps not enough it would seem.

I am not going to go on about the unnecessary nature of worry, you all know that the majority of worry is simply wasted energy. However, we still need to do a bit of worrying to prepare ourselves for the unforeseen. Worry can keep safe, can prepare us, can help us.

When we worry, we use a particular part of the brain that allows us to manage risk, to prepare for attacks, to keep us sharp, to keep us focussed. And through this process we create answers to problems that are likely to arise and we reassure ourselves that we are ready for whatever may come at us. 

On the extreme side, sometimes we forget the actual subject that we are worrying about and we start to exaggerate the worry process. We distort reality and make ‘stuff’ up. And once we have found a defensive strategy to overcome the subject that we are worrying we forget to stop at that point and search for another thing to worry about for that subject.

It was kindly pointed out to me last night by a friend that I wasn't taking note of my own message, that I was worrying about something that hadn't yet happened, that I should ignore the negative things that a few people will no doubt say about my personal story when it is aired. And my friend is right.

I was guilty of worrying about the wrong things, particularly about what people might say about me. If I have to worry, I will find something more productive to worry about. I might have been guilty of worry, guilty of worrying about things I have no control over and are irrelevant. Today that stops. I take back control of my brain and 'unlearn' a bad habit. 

Life is too short to worry about things that aren’t important. If we must worry, let’s worry about something that will keep ourselves safe and will help others.