Research shows us that there are unique characteristics within those who are more resilient than others. Here are 10 of them. Choose one and work on that, then choose another to work on.
· Confront your fears - Immersion therapy is a way to slowly introduce yourself to things that scare you. If you don't like talking to a crowd, sit at the front for a few sessions, then have a guest spot of a minute or two at a few sessions. Gradually build up your resilience (fear) by increasing your risk level (time) thus increasing your stamina.
· Maintain optimism - Optimism and positivity can add 7 years to your life whereas science can only add 3 years. Always look at the bright side, a cliché that actually works.
· Accepted support - Ask for and accept help readily.
· Imitate strong people - Look at those around you, identify the strong ones, and then replicate their behaviours.
· Rely on your inner compass - Call it your ‘gut instinct’, or ‘going with your heart’. Be guided by your intuition because it has evolved over time to help keep you safe.
· Accept what you can’t change - There is no point fighting a fight that you can never win. The easiest way to deal with something that you cannot change is to embrace it.
· Concentrate on your health and well-being - Look after yourself, the more that you do this the better off you will be.
· Find humour in adversity - Rather than concentrate on how bad something is, laugh at it. This re-frames the event which lessens the impact on you. Emergency personnel use ‘black humour’ to deal with their horrific work.
· Use traumatic experiences to grow - Learn from your mistakes (don't do them again) and keep moving forward.
· Turn to spiritual practices - An interesting one this, you may not be a practitioner of religion but there is no reason why you can't find some other spiritual process that keeps you centred and focussed. Perhaps even someone or something imagined to confide in.
Depending on which of these you are wanting to focus on, take small steps and make it repetitive. Depending on the habit, it can take up to 80 days to change the habit of a lifetime.