Why Me?

Why me? Why do bad things always happen to me? I am a good person aren't I? Life just isn't fair! How often have you heard someone say one of those statements or perhaps you have said it yourself. Bad things happen to us all. I don't know why, it just does. Karma, the universe, the world, who knows.

The good news is that most of us have said it at one point in our life, some more than a few times unfortunately. The bad news is that this sort of comment doesn't help you much does it? What may help is to know why we feel this way and how we can avoid disparaging ourselves through our thoughts.

We all know that our brain is wired to worry in order to protect us from danger, to be prepared for anything that comes our way. The 'Why me' emotion is just an extension of worry, although a lot more direct and personal because the event has now happened. Your worst fears have come to fruition.

As my dear departed Mum used to say, "It's not all about you son". And she was right. Often these things just happen for no particular reason and it is our response to these adversities that makes us who we are, not the adversity itself.

There is a saying that goes something like this 'It's not how we fall, it's how we get back up again'. I prefer to say "It's not that we fell, it's that we got back up".  That's what resilience is, getting straight back up rather than languishing in the 'why me' response.

The next time you wonder why you lost a business contract, why you got into trouble, why something terrible happened, don't waste your energy on pondering why. Just keep going, do your best that you can in the circumstances and ignore your brain's negative thoughts.  It's just trying to help after all.