Words Control People

There are a few things that you can do to control other people through the words that you use;

  • Use the word 'important' in your communications with angry people - Saying "This is important to you" at the end of their emotional rant will acknowledge their emotion without actually saying "You sound angry". 
  • If you really need to stop an angry person mid-rant, and I couldn't imagine why you would want to, say "I have an important question I need to ask you".  The person will think that they hold the key to the important information that you need so they feel important.
  •  Rather than tell someone to take a deep breath when they are emotional, tell them "take your time".  They will in fact take a breath.
  • You don't have to put up with people using offensive language. Rather than tell them to stop swearing, tell them that they are distracting you from helping them when they swear.
  • Sad people are very emotional. If they cry in front of you, ask them how you can make it easier for them.  If you intend delaying the conversation to allow then time to gather their thoughts, give them several options to choose from.  This will give them back their control.

Most of all, make it about them. They are the most important person because they do not have control over their thoughts.  You do.  That's if you have been following my blogs of course :-).