We often think of forgiveness as something we offer to others - and yes, letting go of resentment can be liberating.
But during my Diploma in Positive Psychology & Wellbeing, I came to understand the power of self-forgiveness.
We carry so much with us – regret, guilt, shame, and we replay moments we wish we could change.
But here's the truth: you can’t be at your best while holding yourself hostage to the past.
Recently, I was berated by a former colleague, under the guise of a ‘robust discussion’, for something I had said in the media.
His words cut deep, it was a personal attack. And while I could see that he was hurting (and as we know, hurting people hurt people), it didn’t make the experience any less painful.
It took me a while to process what had happened - weeks, in fact. Weeks of berating myself.
But in that reflection, I came back to this: forgiveness is not about excusing behaviour; it is freeing ourselves from the weight of it.
I chose to forgive him. Not because what he said was okay, but because I didn’t want to carry his pain as my own.
And then came the harder part: forgiving myself. For doubting my worth. For replaying the moment over and over. For letting someone else’s words shake my confidence.
Self-forgiveness is often the most difficult kind. But it’s also the most powerful. It’s how we reclaim our peace.
So, I ask you:
• Who are you still holding in your heart with resentment?
• What part of yourself are you still punishing?
• What would it feel like to let go?
It is what it is because it was what it was; it is what you do now that matters. A simple reminder I have tattooed on my chest, I should read it more often.
Through this exercise for my diploma and in my work with those who face their own daily challenges, I’ve seen how forgiveness has a massive influence on our wellbeing.
In my own life, it has helped me move forward with compassion, for others and for myself.
Let’s talk!
The Power Of Forgiveness