Righto, confession time.
I am absolutely hopeless at making decisions.
Honestly, if there were an Olympic sport for thinking about deciding, I’d have a gold, a silver and a ‘just checking I made the right call about entering’ medal.
Whenever I need to make a big decision, I do what any highly trained professional would do - I make a cup of tea and hope the universe sorts it out for me.
To be fair, sometimes it does.
Most of the time, I just end up hydrated and still confused - and then beat myself up about wasting time!
Recently, I was speaking at a conference and came across the Eisenhower Matrix.
Now THIS looked promising. Four boxes - how simple can this be:
✅ Do it now.
✅ Decide when to do it.
✅ Delegate it.
✅ Delete it.
I thought, finally, a system for people like me. Those who can’t even decide what to decide about before making a decision.
I gave it a crack. Started with the low-hanging fruit, which, it turns out, is a classic brain trick called attentional narrowing.
Basically, when our brain has no idea what’s going on, it goes - let’s just look busy.
So, you end up replying to emails from 2017, reorganising your desktop and suddenly feeling like a productivity ninja without actually achieving anything.
It’s like mowing the lawns when your entire life is falling apart. Great straight lines though!
Here’s my problem: Everything feels urgent.
That email? Urgent. That report? Urgent.
I sit there staring at the matrix thinking, Is this urgent or is it just me being dramatic again?
Before I know it, I’ve spent 15 minutes trying to decide which box the task belongs in, which I’m pretty sure needs its own box.
Don’t get me started on “Delegate it.”
Who am I delegating to? My dog Bailey? Historically, that hasn’t worked out great.
Mate, if I start deleting things based on uncertainty, I’m one bad decision away from deleting my entire life and moving to a cabin in the Coromandel.
Here’s where I’ve ended. The Eisenhower Matrix is about getting out of my own head long enough to just pick something and move.
Doing something slightly wrong is infinitely better than doing nothing perfectly.
(Although I’m still work-shopping whether that sentence belongs in “Do” or “Decide”)
Anyway, if you see me staring blankly at a to-do list this week, don’t worry. I’m not stuck; I’m just making a very strategic cup of tea before taking decisive action.
Am I the only one who thinks everything is urgent, or is that just how our brains keep us entertained? 😄
Let’s talk!
Challenge Accpted.
Does being told you can't do something immediately make you want to do it?
When I was in the police, staying fit wasn't optional. As one of the more senior (older, ancient, fossilised) officers, I had to keep passing the Physical Competency Test.
I decided to get into running rather than lifting iron (tin in my case).
I'd heard exercise was good for you. Apparently it helps with fitness, mental health and all sorts of other things sensible people talk about.
I was also coming out of a short dive into depression, so I thought running might be a good idea.
Twice a week I'd run 10 kilometres. On alternate days I'd do weights.
Everything was going brilliantly until my shins decided they had other plans.
What followed was a spectacular medical investigation. Scans, specialists, more scans.
At one stage they injected me with something radioactive. I should be okay, “Just don't stand too close to pregnant women for the next few hours.”
Eventually I found myself at the Adidas Sports Clinic.
After months of tests, consultations and enough orthotics to support a small village, the specialist sat me down and delivered the verdict.
"Lance, some people just aren't meant to run."
Now, he probably thought he was being helpful. What he didn't realise was that he'd just activated the most dangerous words in the English language.
“I’ll show you!”
I've been running ever since. Not always well, not always enthusiastically.
For several years I absolutely hated it, but I kept doing it.
Fast forward to yesterday when my ankle was sore. Not ‘slightly uncomfortable sore’, more like ‘common sense says stay at home’ sore.
So naturally I went for a run. Probably to see if it was serious, but hey, what's the worst that could happen?
As it turns out, things can actually get worse. Go figure.
As I limped home, I started asking myself an important question… Why do I keep doing this?
Who am I trying to prove something to? Is it ADHD, which I blame for all sorts of things? Is it stubbornness, most likely. Or a refusal to admit I can’t.
Or is it simply that every time someone says, ‘You can't’, a small voice in my head immediately replies, ‘Watch me.’
I've come to realise I may never know the answer as to why I do it, push myself beyond my own limits.
What I do know is that if life has taught me anything, it's that when a medical specialist says, "Some people aren't meant to run," they're talking about other people.
Not stupid people like me who knows better.
Let’s talk!
Ghosting!
Ghosting, it’s come a long way.
Back in my day, ghosting wasn’t something you did to people. It was something that happened to our photos.
You’d load a roll of film, 24 shots if you were careful, 36 if you could afford it.
Every click mattered because each one cost money. No 47 selfies hoping for a decent one.
You’d take those photos over weeks, then head to the local chemist and hand over your roll like it was gold (the packaging was actually gold coloured).
And then, you waited. A long 1 to 2 weeks.
Finally, the little paper envelope arrives. You tear it open, hoping for magic, only to find a few out of focus, a thumb making a guest appearance and at least one with ghosting.
That odd double image making Uncle Dave look like he’s in two places at once. That was ghosting.
Fast forward, and the meaning’s had a serious upgrade. Now ghosting is:
👻 Reading a message… and replying sometime before retirement
👻 Saying “let’s circle back” and quietly disappearing
👻 My personal favourite - sending an email and waiting indefinitely for a response
I once emailed a client in Sydney, followed up a few weeks later, and waited.
18 months later, I get - “Apologies for the delay, it’s been a busy time.”
Busy time? That’s a whole career for some people!
Yet, a few weeks later, I was in Sydney delivering a workshop. Proof that sometimes people aren’t ghosting you; they just have a slightly different timeline.
From double images in old photos to double-taps without conversation, ghosting has evolved.
Sometimes what feels like ghosting is simply silence.
In that silence, we get to choose the story we tell ourselves.
Behind every ‘ghost’ is still a person. A person just living a life we can’t always see.
Let’s talk!
Tension Is Rising.
For many organisations, the struggles are real. We also feel it despite the work still flowing.
You’ve built the programmes, refined the service, covered every avenue.
The feedback is strong, the results are there - and yet it feels like the market has gone quiet.
Right now, many workplaces are in limbo. Budgets are tight, and people are fatigued
Yet, beneath that, there’s something else going on.
Aggression is rising, tension is building, and leaders are under pressure.
Many staff members are unintentionally escalating situations rather than calming them. When under pressure, the brain reverts.
After 22 years as a crisis negotiator, dealing with people at their absolute lowest, I’ve learned the behaviour we are now seeing in workplaces is the early version of what I used to deal with at the extreme end.
It’s happening every day in customer interactions and in team conversations when people are stressed and fatigued.
But the shift I’ve had to make myself is to stop trying to show everything I can offer and start talking about the one problem that matters right now?
Difficult people do not cause most workplace conflict. It’s caused by how we respond in the first 30 seconds.
When that response goes wrong, it costs:
👉 Complaints
👉 Stress
👉 Damaged relationships
👉 Safety
It’s about understanding behaviour under pressure, and knowing what to do in the moment that matters.
I’m still learning, still adjusting, still sharpening like everyone else.
What are you seeing right now in your workplace? More pressure? More tension? More difficult conversations? Or something else entirely?
Let’s compare notes 👇
Importantly, let’s talk!
When The Day Feels Heavy.
Ever had one of those days where everything feels heavy, and even the smallest task feels difficult?
You’re not the problem. Blame the world!
Constant change, broken sleep and relentless pressure.
It can feel like the world is coming at us, and our brain responds exactly as it’s designed to.
Under stress, it shifts into survival mode. Our motivation drops, our focus narrows, and even simple things feel harder than they should be.
The reality is that motivation is something you create.
Neuroscience shows that action drives motivation, not the other way around. Small steps release dopamine, the brain’s progress chemical, and that’s what builds momentum.
So, when you’re feeling flat, try these techniques:
1. The 2-Minute Start
Instead of tackling the whole task, just start for two minutes. That small step signals safety to the brain, reduces resistance and often leads to more action.
2. The One Thing Forward Rule
When everything feels overwhelming, ask yourself: what is one small thing that moves me forward? Just one small task; it doesn’t need to be perfect or everything at once.
Progress rebuilds motivation - you just need to start.
Sometimes the smallest step is the one that gets you back on track.
Small steps done consistently lead to big changes.
Let’s talk!