After 7 years from when I first started, I’ve finally completed my Diploma in Positive Psychology and Well-being (DPP) through the Langley Group Institute and Sue Langley.
It wasn’t easy. In fact, it was one of the most challenging things I’ve ever done.
Not because of the content, but because it required me to look inward, to learn about myself, and to apply what I was learning in real time.
I left high school with no qualifications. Learning was hard for me. I didn’t understand the language, the structure, or the systems.
It wasn’t until I was 35 that I discovered how to learn. And it opened a whole new world, the world of understanding.
Since then, I’ve earned a Diploma in Policing, a Graduate Diploma in Business Studies, and a Master of Arts in Terrorism, Safety, and Security.
Each step was a struggle, but also a triumph. I still find academic language difficult.
Registering for university as an adult took me two weeks; I needed every step explained.
This latest diploma was different. It wasn’t just about knowledge – it was about implementation.
I had to apply the techniques to myself before I could use them with others. That meant facing discomfort, fear, and vulnerability. But it also meant growth, insight, and transformation.
I was recently accused of becoming “an academic” and forgetting my roots. I’ll take that any day over the ignorance I once lived with.
During the induction week for the DPP, I spoke with the wonderful Dr Denise Quinlan about the possibility of doing a PhD.
She asked me a powerful question: Who are you doing this for – yourself or others? I paused.
I realised that all my previous studies had been for me. But this next step? It was to prove a point. Maybe even to show off.
So, I won’t be doing a PhD.
Instead, I’ll write one final book, this one on essential communication skills for every challenging situation.
It will be my last personal academic achievement, and I hope it will help as many people as possible.
So, what have I learned?
You don’t have to be an academic to become one.
You don’t have to be perfect to make progress.
And if you apply yourself, you can achieve amazing things.
To anyone who struggles to learn, I see you.
Ways To Engage With Clients!
I recently ran an online workshop for a New Zealand organisation that deploys staff internationally. The feedback was overwhelming, in the best way.
Not only did participants engage deeply during the session, but many also reached out afterward to share how much it impacted them personally and professionally.
Over time, I’ve refined my approach to workshops. I’ve moved towards creating an experience that can resonate with everyone in the workshop.
Here’s what I’ve learned and what you might consider applying to your own work:
🔹 Know your audience - Before every interaction, research the organisation’s culture, needs, and expectations. Tailoring your delivery starts with understanding who you're speaking to.
🔹 Invite curiosity – I begin by saying, “Don’t believe a word I say.” Most laugh, yet it’s not a joke; it is an invitation to question, explore, and engage. Try opening with something that sparks curiosity.
🔹 Create psychological safety - Make everyone feel welcome, regardless of background or experience. When people feel safe, they participate more fully.
🔹 Draw in the quiet voices - Encourage those who hesitate to speak. Often, their insights are the most profound and will stop the room with their deep thoughts.
🔹 Be responsive, not rigid - I read the room and adjust breaks based on energy levels, not timing. Flexibility shows you’re present and attuned.
🔹 Share tools that work - Introduce simple and effective techniques that bring immediate change. People value what they can use right away.
🔹 Tell real stories - Anecdotes from your own life, particularly those that show vulnerability, build trust and connection.
🔹 Use humour wisely - Appropriate humour lightens the mood and makes learning enjoyable therefore more effective.
🔹 Respect cultural nuances - Adapt your delivery to suit the group’s culture. One size never fits all.
🔹 Facilitate connection - Give people time to talk with you and with each other. That’s where transformation happens.
🔹 End with impact - I wrap up with five key takeaways, a calming breathing technique, and two powerful quotes. Leave them with something to carry forward.
If you run workshops, lead teams, or present in any capacity, consider which of these techniques might work for you.
Because when we connect deeply, we have the opportunity to change lives.
Let’s talk!
Why Are We So Angry?
I’ve noticed it. You’ve probably felt it.
People seem angrier than ever before. Road rage, online rants, short fuses, simmering frustration and emotional outbursts that feel out of character.
So, what happened?
The answer, in part, lies in the 2020 lockdowns:
We were isolated.
Our brains were flooded with stress hormones.
We lost connection, control, and certainty.
According to recent neuroscience, the amygdala, our brain’s threat detector, was on high alert for months.
The prefrontal cortex, which helps us regulate emotions, was overwhelmed. And the brain stem, our hard-wired survival centre, took over. We were wired for threat.
And when that wiring stays active for too long, it changes us.
We become more reactive, less patient and more prone to anger.
But here’s the good news:
The brain is plastic - it can change and adapt.
Emotions can be unlearned.
Connection can heal.
If you are feeling more irritable than usual, know that you’re not alone and you are not broken.
You are responding to an extraordinary time in history.
Let’s talk!
We All Care!
"Who cares if one more light goes out in a sky of a million stars?"
Powerful lyrics in the song One More Light by Linkin Park.
When we are in pain, it can feel like our light is fading. Like no one notices and no one cares.
We convince ourselves that our struggles are too heavy, too personal, too much for others to carry.
The disconnection becomes a wall - thick, silent, and dark.
In our work, we have seen how powerful it is when someone finds the courage to speak. To let someone in and say, “I’m not doing so well.”
Because there are people who care, and people who will sit with you in the dark.
People who won’t try to fix you, they simply want to be there for you.
It starts with a conversation. And in that moment of connection, the healing begins.
So, if you are hurting, please know that:
❤️🩹 You are not invisible.
❤️🩹 You are not a burden.
❤️🩹 You are not alone.
Who cares? We all do. You just have to let people in.
It will take a bit of courage, yet you have already shown courage by working through your pain - so you know courage well.
One step, one short sentence, one massive leap for your recovery.
There is a reason we always end our posts with two simple words – because it works.
Let’s talk!
Managing Customers!
Some people just like to argue, regardless of what you tell them.
There are several ways to manage this type of person. The best way I have found is to make it all about them, more than you would with others. Use sentences like "You make a great point" or "I can see where you are coming from."
The difficulty arises when you can't actually help them. For example, company policy means you can't do what the customer is asking of you.
Honesty is the best policy but with an explanation as to why. I call it 'the reason for the reason'.
Policies are developed for two reasons;
- To protect the company
- To protect the customer
Often we will say, "I'm sorry but I can't do what you are asking because it is our company policy". You know what the customer hears when we say this - "We have rules for situations like this and I can't change them".
Try explaining to the customer why the policies are in place, to protect them.
Something like, "Lance, I apologise that I cannot do any more for you. We value our customers and have policies in place which are designed to protect everyone".
Finish off the conversation by giving the customer something that they can take away, it need not be tangible although this would be more helpful. It could be as simple as “What I am going to do is to mention your situation to my supervisor as you raise a valid point”.
Always do what you say you are going to and don’t over-promise. Under-promise and over-deliver.
The bottom line, sometimes people will need a reality check!
Let's talk!