Life feels overwhelming for many of us currently, myself included. There is so much uncertainty which plays on our minds. Our brain prefers certainty and it’s currently not there.
Money is the biggest worry for most people, there is never enough. Housing, education, our health and well-being, safety and the environment. All are big topics that also consume our thoughts.
I often talk about Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and how important it is to focus on the basics to bring certainty to our life – food, water, shelter, air and sleep.
Focusing on these essentials will bring certainty and ground us. What if this is not enough to reduce our worry?
In our fast-paced and often unpredictable world, finding other ways to bring certainty and reduce worry can be incredibly valuable.
Here are a few strategies that might help:
1. Establish routines – Having a daily routine can provide a sense of stability and predictability through structure.
2. Stay informed, but limit news consumption – Being informed about our world is essential, but too much, especially negative news, can increase worry. Find a balance that keeps you informed without overwhelming you.
3. Practice mindfulness – Breathing practices can help you stay in the present moment and reduce anxiety about the future. Breathing in & out at 6-second intervals for 2 minutes is enough.
4. Set realistic goals – Break down your larger goals into smaller, manageable steps. This makes tasks feel less daunting and provides a sense of accomplishment as you complete each step.
5. Build a support network – Surround yourself with supportive friends and/or family. Talking about our worries with someone we trust can provide relief and perspective.
6. Focus on what you can control – Many things in life are beyond our control, focusing on what we can control and taking proactive steps in those areas can reduce feelings of helplessness.
7. Engage in physical activity – Regular exercise can reduce stress and improve your mood. It doesn't have to be intense; even a daily walk can be beneficial.
Remember, it's okay to feel worried sometimes, but taking small proactive steps to manage that worry will help you feel more in control through certainty.
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A Journey Of Discovery!
A Journey of Self-Discovery at 67
As part of working towards my next diploma, I had to complete an exercise called Best Self.
Those who know me understand that I hate to focus on myself, so this was the most uncomfortable thing I’ve ever had to do.
I had to write to friends and family and ask them for a short story about when they saw me at my best.
At the age of 67, I thought, "I’m all good, thanks!" I even asked my tutor if I could use unsolicited feedback from clients instead. But the answer was no.
The purpose of this exercise was to go through the challenges and emotions it would bring.
You can only imagine how difficult it was to ask people to go out of their way and send me something about me. It felt so self-centred.
But the responses I got back from family and friends were humbling and emotional, and many brought me to tears.
I made the mistake of reading some of them during a break in a workshop I was running. It took lots of deep, slow breathing before I regained control of myself and could continue.
We often see ourselves in a different light; we think we never fit in, that we don’t care enough, that we are selfish, that we are... not enough.
Additionally, we never realise what an impact we have had on others until we ask for their feedback.
The truth is that we do fit in, that we do care enough, that we aren’t selfish, that we are... enough.
If you don’t believe that you are good enough, if you don’t believe that you fit in, if you don’t believe that you care, if you don’t believe that you are unselfish – ask your family or friends.
It will blow you away. And it will keep blowing you away for weeks afterwards.
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What Helps Connects Us to Our Workplace?
On face value, it’s easy to assume that the bean bags, barista coffee, and a ping pong table signal a great place to work. And while those things can be fun, they’re not what truly makes people feel connected to their workplace.
We’ve been fortunate to work alongside some truly great organisations over the years—and there are a few things they all seem to get right. Here's what we've noticed 👇
💡 Ownership - Have clear direction; know where you are going, and how you will get there and communicate this effectively. Provide the tools to allow your staff to do their work and leave them to get on with it. Continue with plenty of informal feedback, whilst avoiding micro-managing.
💡 Career - Give people something meaningful to work on outside of their day-to-day work. Ideas on work practices and change processes (the way change is implemented) should be from the bottom up, not the top down. Encourage participation in projects outside of their usual role, should they have the capacity to do so.
💡 Environment - No one likes working in a cramped dark cold cupboard. Have plenty of natural light, provide places to relax and make these places feel like 'home'.
💡 Happiness - happiness keeps people motivated. Value each person; celebrating birthdays and festive events.
💡 Fantastic Managers - They genuinely care for their people. They don't refer to them as employees, workers, or staff, they always refer to their 'people'. Regardless of how busy they are with their own work, they are curious and engaged with their team members
Imposter Syndrome!
"Who do you think you are? You don’t have the skills. What if you cause harm? You’re nothing better than a simple builder."
During a workshop for over 500 forestry workers in Canada, I had a mild panic attack.
At the end of every presentation, I guide the audience through a breathing technique with their eyes closed. Halfway through, I stop counting, and they continue on their own.
Three years into my consultancy and coaching business, with a Master of Arts and two Diplomas in Human Behaviour through neuroscience, I looked up at the audience and felt a rush of self-doubt.
After my presentation, the conference organiser said, "You hit that out of the ballpark."
But self-doubt persisted. "Did I really? Was everyone helped? Did I cause harm?"
Imposter syndrome is a psychological pattern where we doubt our accomplishments and fear being exposed as frauds.
Despite success, we often feel undeserving, attributing achievements to luck or external factors.
From a neuroscience perspective, imposter syndrome involves:
🧠 Elevated Cortisol Levels: Constant worry triggers the amygdala, releasing cortisol, leading to anxiety and health issues.
🧠 Reduced Neurotransmitter Levels: Low serotonin and dopamine levels affect mood and satisfaction.
🧠 Evolutionary Roots: Traits like social comparison and threat detection, once adaptive, now contribute to feelings of inadequacy.
Personal factors include:
👉 Perfectionism: Setting high standards and feeling like a failure when not met.
👉 Family Dynamics: Growing up with high achievement expectations or constant comparison.
👉 Work Environment: High-pressure jobs exacerbate feelings of inadequacy.
👉 Personality Traits: Anxiety, neuroticism, and low self-esteem are linked to imposter syndrome.
👉 Social Context: Being in a minority group or feeling different from peers.
To reduce imposter syndrome:
✔️ Recognize and Acknowledge: Understand it's common among high achievers.
✔️ Gather Evidence of Success: Keep a record of achievements and positive feedback.
✔️ Set Realistic Goals: Define success clearly and celebrate small victories.
✔️ Seek Support: Talk to mentors, colleagues, or friends about your feelings.
✔️ Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself; mistakes do not define your worth.
We all have feelings of self-doubt. You are not an imposter, it is your brain that is an imposter, so tell it to sit back down. You’ve got this.
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I Wish That I was Tougher!
I Wish I Was Tougher!
When down in the dark hole of depression, I often thought about how my life might be different if I was tougher.
If I was tougher, making mistakes would just be a part of life and I might just learn from them.
If I was tougher, I could manage a heavy mental workload and not worry about burnout.
If I was tougher, those things I had to see and do would be quickly forgotten, never would they return to haunt me.
If I was tougher, those times I was bullied would be laughed off, dismissed as simply coming from someone who is hurting.
If I was tougher, I would be able to ignore hurtful comments, just brush them aside.
But I’m not tougher, I’m not harder, I am not stronger, I am a person.
A person that has emotions, a person that cares about what people say and do, a person with a heart that hurts.
In my long years I’ve come to realise that it is the things that hurt us that make us who we are.
They say it’s not about how we fall but how we get back up that matters the most. Not for me, not in my world.
For me it is about the fall. We fell because we cared, we fell because we were hurt, we fell because we had a heart.
Never ever wish you were tougher, never ever wish you were harder, never ever wish you were stronger.
For you are a beautiful person with a big heart. And the world needs more of us, now never more than ever.
Let’s talk!