Frontline council workers often face some of the toughest and most unpredictable interactions in their roles. Navigating tense situations with professionalism, calmness, and confidence is crucial.
This feedback comes from someone on the front line, managing a potentially volatile encounter with skill and composure after completing a recent training session. Thank you for sharing 🙏
"I had a potentially difficult customer. As I was at his vehicle he approached in a defensive manner. I did not react. I greeted him and explained why I was at his vehicle.
Within a minute there were 6 people present - I was unaware I was outside a support hub for persons of difficult backgrounds.
These additional persons claimed to be support people. I advised them that was fine to observe but I did not require their interaction as I am talking with the driver who is fully responsible for the vehicle and the issues I raised.
In the background were an additional 2 males, one was firing insults towards me. I did not react/did not even look his way.
As I discussed with the driver the issues his attitude changed to more reasonable as I focused completely on him and lowered my volume. He responded in kind and 4 of the support persons dispersed as they realised I was not engaging with their interruptions.
The remaining 2 support persons then departed indoors.
As I continued the conversation with the driver, he became less agitated and started to offer explanations as to why his situation was as it was. In the end, he walked away with a warning and with caution that in future he will receive live infringements. He agreed and said thank you.
I believe the skills I have gained went all the way to change this situation from potentially flammable to an agreement with a driver that he is responsible and will look into sorting out his non-compliant vehicle.
I just took the situation as it occurred, remained calm and responded directly with thought as to what I say and how it may sound.
I am silently proud of the outcome as it could have taken a very different direction if I had tensed up due to the outnumbering of persons and the criticism from a third party. The situation could easily have felt overwhelming.
I feel confident going forward that I can handle any interaction and avoid conflict/confrontation. I am in control of my responses and the timing I choose, I set the pace of the interaction without pressure or trying to assess how it will unfold.
Very happy with my learnings Lance and the tools you have provided that I now have in my personal toolbox. I can go forward with confidence that I can handle awkward and difficult situations just by being calm and putting awareness in place that I can handle the public in a positive manner at all times.
I am determined to enhance these learnings and look forward to developing a stoic mindset that serves me and my public role."
Use Your Challenges To Grow
We achieve things in life despite the challenges we face earlier in life for it is those challenges that have brought us to where we are today.
No amount of academic study can replace what experiences offer us —because experience creates an emotional connection.
When looking at your past, don't let it inhibit your future - let it shape your future.
Every challenge I’ve faced has at the very least, taught me something valuable:
💡 Growing up with little money gave me the drive to move forward.
💡 Learning how to learn gave me the tools to gain numerous academic qualifications
💡 Humour comes seemingly naturally during presentations, making them relatable.
💡 The published author of two bestselling books on wellbeing with a third recently released.
💡 A personal insight into what it feels like to be at rock bottom.
💡 Ongoing checks and surgeries to maintain good health.
💡 A business I started at 57, still thriving 10 years later—with my entire family working alongside me.
💡 Successfully using the many traits that ADHD offers including OCD to minimise risk and hyper-focus to drive business growth.
We are where we are now because of what we went through before. Focusing on the positives of the challenges reveals what opportunities the negatives provided you with. Experiences!
Take the time to reflect on your life and see the challenges that shaped you.
I am here because of
I had … on my side
I had support around me from…
I have had challenges that made me who I am because of…
I….
Use your challenges to challenge yourself. Things never happen for a reason. Things just happen, it is what you do with what happened that is more important.
Let's talk!
What I Learned in 45 Years of Marriage That Transfers To Business.
Today is the Ides of March and marks 45 years of marriage to Donna. Forty-five years is a testament to the love, commitment, and partnership we have shared.
Reflecting on our journey together, here are some heartfelt lessons that resonate with me, both in my personal life and in our business:
Don’t Let Dates in History Determine Your Path: When we set our wedding date, I was warned against the Ides of March due to its historical connotations. But we've shown that dates are just markers in time, and it's the love and effort you put into each day that truly matter.
Communication is Imperative: Clear and honest communication is the cornerstone of any strong relationship. Taking the time to explain your thoughts and feelings reduces tension and builds understanding, both at home and in the workplace.
Sincerity Matters: Being sincere about your thoughts and feelings fosters trust and authenticity. Whether in marriage or business, sincerity helps build genuine connections and respect.
Be Flexible: Marriage teaches that it's not just about you; it's about both partners. Flexibility and compromise are essential, as they ensure that both parties feel valued and heard. The same applies in business, where considering multiple perspectives leads to better decisions.
Mutual Respect and Support: A foundation of mutual respect and support creates a collaborative and productive environment. In both marriage and business, this leads to stronger, more resilient partnerships.
Never Go to Bed on an Argument: Resolving issues before bedtime ensures a peaceful rest and a fresh start the next day. In business, addressing conflicts promptly can prevent them from escalating and maintain a positive atmosphere.
It’s Okay to Disagree: Disagreements are natural, but it's important to handle them respectfully and provide valid reasons for your perspective. This approach engenders healthy discussions and solutions in both personal and professional settings.
There Will Be Difficult Times: Life is full of ups and downs, and it's during the tough times that reflection and growth occur. Embracing challenges together strengthens your bond and builds strength.
Apologies Are Important: Being the first to apologise, even when you feel you haven't erred, shows humility and a willingness to mend relationships. In business, this attitude can defuse tensions and promote a culture of accountability.
Celebrate the Milestones: Acknowledging and celebrating milestones, no matter how small, keeps the journey exciting and motivating. In business, celebrating achievements boosts morale and encourages continued effort.
Just like a lasting marriage, a successful business thrives on strong partnerships, humility, and continuous effort.
Never take things for granted, always strive to be your best, and remember to stay humble. My journey with Donna is a beautiful reminder of these timeless principles. 💖
Let’s talk!
Where Has Our Attention Span Gone?
I doubt that anyone can disagree that our attention span has diminished in recent times.
Recent research shows the average attention span for tasks requiring sustained focused is estimated to be between 8:00 to 12:00 seconds!
This poses a significant risk to safety in those environments where attention for long periods is imperative – pilots, construction, first responders, forestry, farming, etc.
Our attention span can be influenced by age, environment, and the type of task we are undertaking.
Plus, the increasing use of digital devices and the constant bombardment of information results in difficulty in maintaining prolonged focus.
In our busy world, several factors occur:
➡️ Digital overload – the continuous inflow of information from our devices, social media and the internet can overwhelm our brains thus making it harder to focus on a single task for long periods.
➡️ Multitasking – constantly switching between tasks can reduce our ability to concentrate on one thing at a time which leads to a fragmented attention span.
➡️ Instant gratification – the immediate rewards we get from digital media, such as scrolling, likes and notifications, can condition our brains to seek quick short-term rewards rather than long-term focus.
➡️ Neuroplasticity – our brains are highly adaptable, and the way we use them changes their structure and function. Constant exposure to fast-paced, fragmented information trains our brains to process information in shorter bursts.
➡️ Stress and fatigue - high levels of stress and fatigue can impair cognitive functions, including attention and focus.
How can we improve our attention span? Here are some strategies to help you enhance our focus:
👉 Take regular breaks – working for 25 minutes and then taking a 5-minute break.
👉 Minimise distractions – create a workspace that is free from distractions, and turn off notifications from social media.
👉 Stay organised – keep a list of tasks and prioritise them to reduce the mental clutter that can lead to a wandering mind.
👉 Practice single-tasking – focus on one task at a time instead of multitasking and get rewarded with dopamine at the completion; slow is smooth, smooth is fast!
👉 Set clear goals: Having clear goals can provide direction and motivation making it easier to stay focused.
Doing the above will increase our attention span, leading us to increased productivity, less risk, reduced stress and a much happier you!
Let's talk!
What About When Counselling Is Over?
At the conclusion of counselling for trauma, we often find ourselves in a void of nothingness, asking, "What now?"
There are several steps you can take to continue your journey of self-improvement, adding value to the counselling you've received.
One primary method is talking about what happened. Each time we do, we delve deeper into our memory, releasing more of the emotion that holds the memory in place.
However, many people feel they've talked enough or are reluctant to discuss their trauma with anyone other than a counsellor.
While working on my book, Anxiety is A Worry, I discovered research suggesting that writing about trauma can also be beneficial.
Our brains are evolving in terms of connection. There was a time when radicalisation required face-to-face meetings; now, it can happen through videos. Similarly, online counselling, once unthinkable, has become a viable option.
Expressive writing remains a valuable tool for enhancing overall well-being. Start by writing everything you can about the incident that caused your trauma for 15-20 minutes a few times a week.
Don't worry about punctuation, spelling, or other forms of checking - it's the content that matters. Write about the smallest and greatest details; it makes no difference.
A meta-analysis of 31 studies involving over 4,000 participants found that expressive writing significantly reduces symptoms of depression, anxiety, and stress.
The timing of writing sessions is crucial, with shorter intervals between sessions yielding better outcomes.
If you want to know more about expressive writing, I've linked a great article in the comments from Frontiers in Psychology covering 40 years of analysis.
Let’s talk, or maybe write!