Materialism - Does It Make You Happy?

Materialism in this context is the concern for possessions or for material wealth and the physical comfort it brings. Can buying and possessing material items make us happier?

I have often heard quoted that shopping makes you happy and if you are feeling a little down then you should go out and buy something. I have also read that when people can afford more the necessities of life then they have a significantly happier life.

Recent studies have shown that buying 'things' can in fact make you happier. However, before you buy that Ferrari or Cartier item, there is a cautionary note. Buying experiences have a longer lasting benefit to your wellness than a material item. Why - because material items become old and lose their immediate appeal very quickly whereas experiences such as a holiday a long remembered. (As an aside, it has been found that memories of holidays distort over time so we only tend to only recall the happiest parts if the holiday was a bad one.)

Additionally, numerous studies have shown that buying something for someone else makes us much happier than spending money on ourselves. Again, this seems counter-intuitive. 

The common link is sociability - or as I like to refer to as socialisation. When we spend money on an experience it is more often than not that we are spending it with another person, we are sharing the experience. When we give to another we are again sharing the experience. 

It is then perhaps not so surprising that you don't actually have to give money to receive the benefits of giving. And, more importantly, you don't have to do it every day apparently. Doing something nice for someone else - helping a friend out, giving blood, or volunteering for a not-for-profit are all ways to gain greater long-lasting happiness than buying a material item for yourself.

I still enjoy my material items and I am not for a moment suggesting you shouldn’t shop to make yourself happy. By all means if it works, do it. Just know that buying an experience has greater benefit for your emotional situation.

Lastly, a simple act of kindness to another will make you happier for longer and is something that you will probably never forget.

Food and Sleep - Is There A Connection?

We know that what we eat has an impact on our body - sugar is the new ‘fat’ to avoid - and that if we eat spicy foods there is a chance that we will suffer heartburn from reflux when we lay down to rest. But does food have an impact on our sleep patterns?

I laud the benefit of eating a small piece of solid protein immediately prior to bedtime to stop you waking at 3 to 4am and feeling worried. It works for most of those I know who now do this, research says it works for 80 to 90% of people. Cheese (crazy dreams), egg, chicken, etc. all contain tryptophan which assists with sleep.

We also know that if you eat too much food just before bedtime you will have difficulty in getting to sleep as the stomach works overtime to digest the energy before you can get to sleep. This has to do with the production of insulin which is produced in the pancreas to help break down carbohydrates and fats and enables glucose to move from the bloodstream to cells throughout the body. Glucose is of course a sugar.

Our circadian rhythm works on timing - our most common natural sleep pattern is from 11pm to 7am and is mostly due to light and darkness. This rhythm is also partly affected by when we eat.  

A 2013 study at Yale University found that eating two meals per day may be most beneficial for the synchronization of our biological clocks. The study suggested that those who wake up early in the morning, eating breakfast and lunch and skipping dinner is best for the circadian rhythm synchronisation. Night owls should eat lunch and dinner as their two meals. But eating just two meals isn’t good for our weight control.

The key to all of this secondary circadian rhythm is inside the liver, the lipid levels. (It's about now in my research that my eyes glazed over and I wanted to go to sleep so I quickly moved on).

So that I don't lose the message I am trying to make, the bottom line is that we should try to get most of our calories earlier in the day, and have lighter, earlier evening meals when possible in order to get a better sleep and to avoid putting on weight. 

You should try to eat no later than four hours before you go to bed, except for that little snack of protein of course. This gives your body plenty of time to digest the food and gain the benefits of the diet/sleep patterns. Coincidentally, or maybe not, this is usually the same time as the sun goes down. Have you noticed how you start to get tired about four hours after dusk?

So what to eat. The worst foods to eat at night are those heavy in fat and carbohydrates as well as processed foods. The best foods to eat at night are walnuts, almonds, lettuce, tuna, cheese, rice, kale, shrimps, crayfish, humus, honey and cherries.

That sounds like a pretty good salad to me if you throw in a little chicken.

First Impressions Do Count - So Make Them Strong

Research is mixed on how long it takes for us to make a first impression on those we meet. Most will indicate that when we meet someone for the first time we have around 30 seconds to make an impact - good or bad. 

There is no secret on how to make a positive impression. It's all about your appearance - what you wear, your facial gestures, eye contact and how you sit - and importantly what you first say. 

Here are some easy things that you can do to make a positive impact on others;

Job Interview

·        Dress appropriately for the role that you are going for - it is better to be dressed more formal than casual if you are uncertain.

·        Smile - when you smile, you make other people feel good.

·        Eye contact - at the first greeting ensure that you look into the other person’s eye, then pull your vision back after that to look around the eyes. Direct eye contact is great for the first engagement and then tends to get a bit ‘creepy’ if you continue if to look directly into their eye. Look just above the eyes or just above the nose.

·        Match their speech - if you can, match the other persons speed and length of sentence. This works in a similar way to mirroring body language. 

·        Sit properly in your chair - sit upright, sit forward, show an open body-language and pay attention. This will quickly establish a rapport.

Making a Speech or Presentation

·        Try to move away from the lectern - move around to maintain their attention.

·        If you must use a lectern - don't grip it like you would fall over if you let it go.

·        Keep your head up - look across the top of the heads of the audience and look intermittently at those who are smiling at you. 

·        Change your tone and rhythm - alter your voice to maintain interest and to avoid a monotone.

·        Project calmness - you may be nervous but it is important to at least appear calm.

·        Don't worry about mistakes - if you make a mistake, keep going and perhaps make a joke about it.

Don't be too hung up on trying to 'look' the part or doing the right thing. Smile, show an interest with intermittent eye contact and speak with honesty. These are the three things that we look for in others when we socialise. 

Can Writing Make You Happy?

We have all heard it - "If you are happy you will live a long and enjoyable life". And research supports this, those who are positive live on average four years longer than others. Unfortunately, there are some of us who struggle with being happy.

Just like worry, 50% of happiness is genetic and can't be altered. The good news is that you have 50% to work with. 

Recent research suggests that simply 'thinking' yourself happy is not as effective as first thought because we tend to continually recall the very thing that made us unhappy, thus reinforcing it and working against the happy thoughts.

I have spoken previously about the benefits of smiling so I won't repeat them here except to say if you combine smiling with happy thoughts you have a far greater chance of increasing your happiness. Another option is to write.

Writing provides an intense impact on our brain, more so than just talking. Maintaining a 'positives' diary is one way of using writing to help yourself become much happier.

Some would say that you should write down the thing that made you unhappy so that you can examine that aspect therefore change or avoid it in the future. This may in fact be reinforcing the negatives. Writing down positive things that occur across your day is known to reinforce the positives. Then, reading through the positive list regularly helps to continue that positive reinforcement.

Another option is to write down minute details about an earlier event in your life that made you extremely happy. This has been shown to provide a quick happiness 'fix'. 

Thoughts alone may not help you to become happier, writing these things down will. Mind and body, a thought and an action. 

Imagine It and It Will Be So - Or Will It?

Over previous years, visualisation has been touted as the way to overcome many of life’s hurdles. Think of being happy and you will be, want a million dollars then imagine that you have won the lottery!

For sports competition, or when about to present to an audience, or anything else where an 'action' by you is involved, visualisation has been proven to be effective. Visualisation provides focus as you go through the motions (in your mind) of what you are about to do. A dress rehearsal if you like.

Where visualisation has proved to be ineffective, is where you have no ability to control the outcome - winning the lottery, selling a house, becoming a millionaire, etc. Sorry, those things come down to luck or good marketing.

I read recently where visualisation, when used to imagine a new 'you' is at best ineffective and at worst, harmful. There is no doubt that imagining yourself with a slender body, dating a famous person or living a luxurious lifestyle will indeed make you feel good. That in itself is okay, however, know that you will feel worse when you fall at the first hurdle of achieving that dream.

Research has found that ‘thinking yourself happy’ may also be detrimental to you because you tend to focus on what it is that you are trying to change about yourself. You tend to obsess on the very thing that makes you unhappy. So too yelling into a pillow to reduce anger may make you angrier because you are thinking about the very thing that you are angry about and brainstorming could actually produce less ideas because you are constrained by the ideas that you are hearing around you.

As psychology evolves, we are learning more and more about these long-held beliefs and changing things for the better. Achieving goals, no matter what they are, is about having control and taking action. The ‘universe’ won’t provide for you unless you take some form of action yourself. That is why visualisation works for athletes, actors, and keynote speakers – they take action after the visualisation to achieve what they want.

In sum, by all means visualise what you want but then you must take practical steps to achieve them.