You're Lying!

When we tell a lie our body sometimes reacts in certain ways that does not look right and others pick up on these signs.

Most have heard of the saying "You are a downright liar". This comes from the fact that our eyes dart down to the right when we are untruthful. The reason, verbal language comes from the left side of the brain while body language comes from the right. The right side of the brain is also the creative side. So, the eyes go to the creative side as the person makes up the lie. (That's to your left in case you are wondering).

Another way to tell if someone is lying is if they touch their face, particularly around the nose. This is called the Pinocchio effect which is caused by a chemical released into the mucous membranes when we tell a lie and this chemical creates an itchy sensation around the mouth and nose.

Licking of the lips originates from the same chemical reaction because the chemical dries the lips. 

The rate at which we blink our eyes is linked to whether we are experiencing pleasant or unpleasant feelings. Generally, when we are lying we will blink at a faster rate because we are uncomfortable when telling a lie.

When we tell the truth our eyes will generally look straight ahead or they may look upwards as we access the frontal lobe where most of our brain work is conducted. 

Folding the arms over the chest when we talk indicates defensiveness, as does placing an item we are holding between the two which acts as a protection ‘barrier’.

Men Don't Cry

Men are known for hiding their emotions. A bold generalisation but one that science tells us is true. So why do we not cry when we know that not doing so is detrimental to our wellbeing?

It's in our wiring. By nature, men are suspicious, competitive, controlled and defensive. If we are seen to show emotion it means that we are no longer in control of the situation or ourselves. Add to that our social conditioning which says that men must be seen to be tough, to be brave, and to act like a man.

Unfortunately that isn't any good for our mental wellbeing. When we bury our emotions there are many adverse consequences. Here's why men need to cry more;

·        Lowers blood pressure - Research shows that men who cry during therapy sessions immediately lower their heart rate and blood pressure. 

·        Lowers stress - Similar to perspiration when we exercise, tears release some of the built-up stress chemicals from the body such as the endorphin leucine-enkaphalin and prolactin.

·        Elevates mood - In a similar way, if we have too much manganese in our bodies then our mood will be low. Overexposure of manganese causes nervousness, irritability and fatigue.

·        Crying is cathartic - Crying releases the accumulation of conflicts and resentments we felt through the day. 

·        Tears release feelings - If we bottle these up it impacts adversely on our nervous (limbic) and cardiovascular systems. 

·        Expressing emotions makes you more creative - Crying engages the creative part of your brain.

·        Makes you stronger - “There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.” – Washington Irving

Of course you don't have to cry in public if you don't feel it is the right thing to do, you can go and hide first. Or, you could cry in public and show others that you are part of humanity.

What Can The Military Teach Us?

I have been fortunate enough to have worked alongside the finest soldiers in the world. Only in training mind you, I could never hope to even pass the first stage of their recruitment let alone the tough selection process. 

Here's what they taught me which I find valuable in business;

1. Be ready - Always be ready for anything and everything. Know your product/service well and if you are asked to do something that is outside of your scope try to accommodate the request. 
2. Be reliable - This flows from the first point, be consistent in your delivery and always say yes. Be the first person that others turn to when they need something.
3. Be relevant - There is always a solution to every problem and it is about finding the solution without going off on a tangent. 'Stay the course'.
4. Train - You can't do any of the first three points if you aren't competent at what you do. You must train yourself and your staff to strengthen weak areas so that the service you provide is exceptional.
5. Equipment - The first thing a soldier does when he finishes work is to ensure his equipment is serviceable, ready to use immediately if necessary. Ensure that yours is the same.
6. Appearance - Be professional in appearance and demeanour at all times. This includes physically and mentally. 
7. Collegiality - Look to your colleagues for help and support when you need it and be prepared to go the extra distance to help others. 
8. Truthful - A soldier will be truthful. They aren't afraid of what others might think of them because they believe in what they are doing.
9. Be humble - Humility is a powerful thing. Don't say something unless it needs to be said and then say it tactfully when you have to say it.
10. Fear - Soldiers are human and have the same emotions as you and I but they learn to manage their emotions so that they continue on when times get tough. They push through the hard times knowing that if they fight hard enough they will always win.

As Sir Winston Churchill once said - "If you are going through hell, keep going." (As someone who suffered from depression, who better to listen to than him).

Are You A Sitter?

Recent research has highlighted the risks of sitting still for too long. Some say that sitting is the new 'smoking' for our health - it is very bad for you. If you are someone who has to sit for long periods of time, or you watch a lot of television, here are four things to do that will lessen the risk of health problems from sitting;

1.     Water - Drink lots of it. Not tea, coffee, juice, or soda, just water. Water will hydrate you and help to flush out the plumbing and filters in your body. And of course you will have to get up out of your chair often to go to the bathroom.

2.     Breathe - When we sit we shallow-breath, we don't breath into our stomach. Once every 30 minutes, breathe deeply into your lower rib cage by pushing out your stomach to ensure you are getting the maximum amount of air into your lungs as possible. Be careful not to induce a panic attack by taking more than 4 deep breaths in a row.

3.     Stand - If you can, you should try and stand for 10 minutes every hour. More is better but 10 minutes is a start. Standing gets the blood flowing through your recently cleaned plumbing that water flushed out from point 1. If you are watching TV, stand up in the adverts.

4.     Exercise - While sitting, tense your muscles tight for about one minute and then relax them. Work your way up from your feet squeezing each muscle group up to your head and then work your way back down again. 

 Here are some other things that you can do if you are someone who sits a lot at work;

·        Get an adjustable desk that allows you to work while standing up.

·        Hold meetings standing up.

·        Hold 'walking' meetings where you get outside and walk around the block during the meeting.

·        Use the stairs not the lift.

·        Do exercises at your desk - there's plenty to choose from online.

·        Shrug your shoulders to loosen the neck and shoulder muscles.

·        Sit up straight, this strengthens your back muscles.

·        Stretch as much as you can to release tension in your muscles.

·        Exercise after work

What Have I Learned In Business So Far?

It is twelve months today since I decided to 'give it a go' and leave a secure position to start my own business. Here’s what have I learned (learnt) in this time of working for myself and running a business;

1.     Business Plan - Everyone says that you need one, 75% of businesses that fail did not have one. I have one but it is only half completed. In my rush to get the business going (and to get some money coming in) I haven't set aside time to finish it. That changes today, I am going to finish it because you need a document that expresses what you want to achieve, to indicate where you want to go, and to show you how you will get there. Without a business plan you will wander without direction.

2.     Free stuff - The more you give the more you get back. It's a funny thing and I can't explain it. When I run a free event or offer pro-bono services the work comes back to me. And it is not just because I am out there displaying my services. If I am helping someone I will check my emails afterwards and there will be an inquiry for my services from an unexpected source. 

3.     Be different - I am very different, ask anyone who knows me. I consult and coach in a way that isn't traditional. I do so in a way that I would like to be the recipient of and I make it about them. I was a practitioner first and then I studied therefore I wasn't swayed by what others taught me. I didn't take the traditional route, I came along a winding road that was unconventional and that is what made me unconventional.

4.     Relax - Sometimes I panic. I panic because I don't have enough work, I panic because I have too much work, and I panic simply because I can. It is natural to panic, the brain is wired that way. I now have learned to relax, and the more relaxed I become the easier it is for everyone, including myself.

5.     Keep going - I nearly went and found a real job once. I sat back, dropped the ball, I thought that work would come to me. It doesn't and you have to work to get work. Within a few days of applying for a job (and failing to secure one) I was back in the game. A couple of people called me after reading my posts and encouraged me to keep going so I did. Within a week I had work coming in and I am so grateful that it continues to be this way (hence I haven't posted for a few days!).

6.     Be open to new opportunities - Always look for new opportunities to add to your business and for new people to partner with. Together Everyone Achieves More. A bit of a lame saying but in business it is an important one these days.

7.     Be honest - Honesty is the most important thing that you can do for yourself and for others. If you are dishonest or lack integrity you will quickly fail. Honesty is being truthful, if you can’t do something then say so. Always under-promise and over-deliver.

8.     Change - The world is changing fast and if you don't change with it you will get left behind. Look at ways to change, to be different, to add to your strengths and weaknesses.

9.     People - You need to meet people, lots of them, as many as you can. It is those people you meet who will help you to get started, to guide you in your business, to support you, and to listen to you when it doesn't go that well. I have been very lucky, I have some good people to do this for me. People are wonderful.

10.  Family - Most importantly for me, I have a supportive family. They provide not only encouragement and physical support, they provide emotional support. When I am down, they lift me up. When I am excited, they keep me grounded. When I am lonely, they are there to talk. They are my real business partner.