Wellness or Well-Being

I have never taken the opportunity to examine the difference between wellness and well-being, until now that is. I would sometimes interchange these words without knowing which word to use in what situation. (I am a slow learner). 

Wellness - One dictionary defines wellness as is an active process of becoming aware of and making choices toward a healthy and fulfilling life. "...a state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity." 

Another defines it as the quality or state of being healthy in body and mind, especially as the result of deliberate effort. So, wellness is the total health package: mind, body, and social aspects. There is no mention of spirit in the references that I read.

Well-Being - The best definition that I could find to describe well-being was one by Martin Seligman in his book "Flourish". He states that well-being has five elements: positive emotion, engagement, meaning, positive relationships, and accomplishment. The cornerstone of his work is authentic happiness which is a term that I like.

Therefore well-being is more focussed on the 'spirit' it would seem. Well-being is the intangible stuff that is difficult to measure without conducting assessments whereas wellness is something that you can often see. These are wide generalisations, I know. But that is how I find it easy to remember each one.

Which is better for you, wellness or well-being? I think neither, they go hand-in-hand. While you can have one without the other you really do need both to lead a balanced life. If you are physically fit and are healthy it is much easier to undertake well-being activities. If you are feeling 'down' (poor well-being practices) it is more difficult to undertake a healthy life because of lethargy, lack of meaning, and negative emotions.

I embrace the holistic approach in the programmes that I run. You get a bit of everything. Why, because you need both and they should be undertaken concurrently to get the fastest result at improving your total well-being. Or is that total wellness!

In short, do everything that you can to keep yourself 'well' and don't worry about the terms.

Do Motivational Messages Work?

I read a lot. Mostly I read books on resiliency, positive psychology and communications. It's part of my work so I have to keep up with contemporary research. The bonus is that I enjoy my work so it is not a chore doing so.

I also like to read short articles and posts, particularly those posted on LinkedIn. The messages vary, are helpful, and although they are one person’s opinion, I always learn something.

Then there are the motivational messages. I am guilty of making my own messages on occasion. This morning I was thinking, do these short motivational messages and words of wisdom actually work? Are they helpful, do they motivate me, do I feel better for reading them?

I came to the conclusion that, no, they don't really motivate me or change my opinion. I don't always find them informative or very helpful either. So why do I continue to read them and post my own? Because in some small way they keep my brain focussed on positive stuff, they make me smile, they leave me in awe at the intelligence of the message and at the simplicity they bring to a complicated world, and they make me feel that I am part of 'life'. 

When I read a message that says "When in doubt, just keep going", it doesn't make me immediately want to keep going. After all, I might be heading in the wrong direction! But the message does make me stop and ponder about the person who took the time to write the message. They had a reason for doing so. And maybe they are right, I should keep going.  Also, there is the fact that by posting my own messages maybe I am helping someone, encouraging them stop and ponder.  

I am sure that there is research that supports the use of motivational messages. It would probably say that the continued reading of positive motivational messages has a cumulative affect and is good for us. It changes our thought patterns.

Bottom line for me, I just enjoy reading them and I am sure others do so. Keep posting your messages and I am one who will read them.

What Not To Eat And Drink

There is so much information out there on what we should and shouldn't eat that it is getting a little confusing, for me anyway.  The same goes for alcohol consumption, is it good or bad for me? 

Looking at food from a biological perspective, when we are stressed cortisol is produced releasing sugar and fatty foods into our bloodstream to support our fight or flight reaction.  In fact we crave these types of foods in times of stress because we need them. A carbohydrate high diet is great to boost serotonin levels and serotonin is needed in our brain as a positive neuro-transmitter.  The down side of carbohydrates is that it also blocks the release of leptin, a hormone that tells us when we have had enough to eat. 

When people ask me what they should and shouldn't eat, I suggest that they conduct their own research and eat what they think is right for them knowing that there are consequences if they eat the wrong foods.  It’s not just about energy in and energy out, it’s about the right sort of energy.  The same goes with how much to eat. If you are feeling full after a meal, change your diet to something lower in sugar, fat, and protein.  Or simply eat less. You will notice the benefits of eating the right foods immediately. 

Alcohol.  Here it comes, he’s going to tell me not to drink alcohol as it is bad for me.  Nope, quite the opposite in fact.  Alcohol can also have good benefits for us provided we don’t imbibe too much.  If you enjoy a drink or two and it relaxes you then why not have a drink. The benefits of red wine consumption is well-known.

If you can’t limit your alcohol consumption to a couple of glasses or you have an adverse reaction to alcohol (you become angry or depressed) then avoid it altogether.  Certainly those who are in a depressed state should not drink alcohol at all as it is a depressant.  You may feel good at the time of drinking but you will be in a worse state when you finish. 

A good guide as to whether you should drink alcohol after a bad day, if you gulp the first few mouthfuls then limit your intake to just the one regular serve.  Gulping means that we are trying to overcome a negative emotion.   

The thing I find most frustrating about food and alcohol is that research changes all of the time and it can be a bit confusing.  It used to be that we had to avoid dripping, then it was butter, then margarine.  Now it is sugar or is it artificial sweeteners, milk or was that not good for my bones, bagels have to be good surely or are they too starchy, food fried in oil is okay though, I think. Depending on which website you visit, the list of good and bad foods change. 

It was once said that smoking was good for us because it made us cough therefore cleared our lungs.  Who would have thought?  Smoking is one thing that is bad for you, without question. There is not one positive benefit from smoking other than you get to socialise with other smokers when you are banished outside into the cold.  

I believe that sometimes we fret far too much over this stuff, particularly so if we are feeling down.  Reducing alcohol will help with your depression, there’s no doubt. Eating the right foods is the right thing to do, without question.  Reducing or ceasing to smoke is of real benefit, science proves it.  Yet it can all be a bit overwhelming for those who are already under stress when they are trying to get their brain functioning properly. 

Generally, we know what we should and shouldn't do and if we are doing something that we know we shouldn't be doing then that plays on our conscience.  If you find yourself in this confused situation then take it one small step at a time.  Reduce one cigarette each month, have one less mouthful of alcohol each week, and start eating one piece of fruit or vegetable each day.  Then settle into that pattern before reducing more of the bad stuff and increasing more of the good stuff. 

You are what you eat, drink, and smoke. So do the right thing to help yourself.

Do What You Fear Most

Sometimes we would like to do something but don't because we are too nervous or afraid of what might happen. I'm not talking about jumping out of a plane or some other adventure sport, I am talking about things at work that we don't enjoy that much. Making a speech, delivering a presentation, or holding performance improvement meetings are examples.

The most effective way that I found to deal with my nerves in these situations is to do more of them. Immersion therapy is a recognised method of getting accustomed to a situation that you find stressful. The military do this a lot in their training. They practice so much that their mind becomes accustomed to the situation and their body works on muscle memory.

An everyday example to illustrate. For most of us, talking in public is scary. Despite my involvement in public speaking for over 15 years I still find that I get extremely nervous.  I often don’t comprehend what I am saying for the first few minutes of my presentation because of anxiety. 

Being nervous is a good thing as it keeps us focussed however too much nervousness can also overwhelm our thoughts to the point that we become ineffective.  By joining Toastmasters I learnt a new way of dealing with my fear and doing so in a safe and friendly environment.

Practice operating outside of your comfort zone to get your sensors used to challenging situations, but do this gradually otherwise your stress levels will become too much and overwhelm your senses.   

Stop Worrying, It Will Be Okay!

As we have seen, our brain is hard-wired to worry. So how can we stop worrying? Unfortunately you can't, but what you can do is control the amount of worry that you do. Trust me when I say that you can control it, I am the biggest worrier in the world.

Worry starts first thing in the morning as soon as we wake up. Our brain goes straight to worrying so that we are ready for the day's dangers that lie ahead. If you do this, and I used to do it every day, force your brain to think about one positive happy thing that is coming up later in the day. If you can't think of one, then look further ahead to something positive happy thing coming up later in the week.  

Throughout the day if you find yourself starting to worry then look closely at what it is that you are worrying about. Put the topic into perspective by writing it down and then look at the facts. Say to yourself, "What is the very worst thing that could happen" then list everything that could go wrong. Beside each thing that could go wrong write down the likelihood of it happening and what you can do to stop it from doing so.

The military use a version of this when they are planning a coordinated action (battle). They say to themselves, “So what, therefore”. So what could happen and what can I do to counter it. By doing this you will find that your brain will begin to stop worrying because you have provided it with an answer for each situation. Your brain worries about the unknown, that’s how it keeps you safe.

There is a similar method that you can use if you don't like the military version. I developed a mathematical equation to make it easy to remember (I know, I am a nerd) P-A=R. Our Perception minus our Attitude equals the Reality. It is our perception of something that exaggerates our worry. Our perception is based on previous learnings, what we have learned over our lifetime. Our learnings form our attitude. Unfortunately this is the wrong way of looking at a problem. By changing our attitude into a positive one you then change your perception which brings you back to reality.

In the evening, if you are still worrying about things then again write them down and work through the pattern of 'so what, therefore' or use the PAR technique. Once you have worked through the worries you will be more relaxed and so will your brain be. Plus, by writing it down you have lodged the worry into your subconscious which will continue to work out an answer to your problem.

You can't stop worrying, but you can change how you worry.