The more I work in the personal resilience space the more that I am convinced that the most sustainable way to help others is to get them to help themselves, with a little guidance if needed. Furthermore, not accepting the first or single solution may not be enough, we should keep looking for more options.
When we have a challenge/problem/issue/behaviour that won't go away or we want to change and is always on our mind, the longer that we delay fixing it the more it plays on our mind. The more it plays on our mind the higher the likelihood our brain will exaggerate the negative, the greater the exaggeration the harder it becomes to find a solution, the harder it is to find a solution, the cycle goes on.
The importance of doing something practical as early as possible cannot be emphasised enough, when we have a problem that is continually playing on our mind it becomes all-consuming. Additionally, the more we focus on the problem the greater the likelihood of tunnel vision which closes our mind.
There are many reasons why it might be best to take personal ownership of our challenges;
We have personal involvement in the solution therefore become more determined.
We have control of the solution, the journey, and the outcome.
It gives us something practical to do thus keeps our mind active and focussed on the positive outcome.
We learn about ourselves, what works best for us or what may not work as well, and we can adjust the solution as required.
The more occasions that we take practical action, the easier it becomes, the greater the reduction in stress and the easier it is to find solutions.
So, how does it work?
Find a person who you can trust, it need not be a family member nor a close friend as these people may also have a closed mind from knowing you too well.
Write down your problem at the top of the page and then start writing down as many solutions that you can think of, no matter how silly they might seem. There are many resources that you can use to find solutions, the internet is the go-to these days but ensure that you are using a credible source.
Eliminate the ridiculous solutions and then order the remaining solutions from the simplest to the hardest.
Start working on the easiest solution for a minimum of 60 days, it takes at least that time to form a neural pathway and change patterns of behaviour.
Evaluate how the solution went for you at the end of each day to see what positive changes you have made. If you find it helpful, also write down the challenges but only so that you can eliminate these from the following day.
When we want to change something, doing the same thing or doing nothing are not options. After all, nothing changes if nothing changes.