The more that I interact with others, the more that I present to audiences, the more questions that I am asked, the more research that I carry out, the more studies that I read, the more and more that I realise that we are all so similar.
Yes, there are gender difference, ethnicity differences, generational differences, personality differences, social differences, the list goes on. However, we are all so similar in our thoughts that we can focus on generalisations to help ourselves. And, isn't that what research is, for the majority?
Here's a list of things that you may have thought you were alone in your thinking, and ways to help overcome them;
- I am not good/strong enough - Imposter syndrome, you are good enough, you can always do better, that's why you are where you are today.
- I need to wait until - Your brain likes to run in patterns of behaviour, habits. There is no waiting, start today, right now, this instant.
- He/she is successful because of... - They are successful because they took a risk, they were committed, they worked hard, they had passion, they drove themselves to succeed. You can do the same if you behave the same way.
- I wish I could laugh/cry/yell more - You can, but why do you need to? These are simply emotions and emotions are nothing more than information pertaining to a particular situation. Data in a computer as it is often described.
- When I get this done I can relax - You will never finish, there's always something else to do, there's another job to do. So, relax in the knowledge that you are working towards being a better person, helping others, and contributing to society.
- The person I talk to inside my head is much younger than I am - Yes, we all have a much younger person as our inner guide. Acknowledge him/her, just don't let him/her hold you back. It is an immature you who is afraid to move forward in case you make a mistake.
- I am getting old - Reflection comes with age, as does wisdom. Focus on the present, make the most of the time you have, resist the aging process, embrace that the fact that you are currently alive.
- Life is passing me by way too fast - It's not, physics tells us this. You are busy, which is a good thing, you simply aren't focussing on the here and now. Bring yourself back to the moment and stop that continuous self-talk.
- I wish I had/hadn't - Guilt and regret are designed to remind you of risks/danger and to add to your pile of learning. Instead, reflect on the good that you have done and add to your pile of good things.
- Why can't I be like everyone else - You are, in so many ways. There's about 10% difference in all of us, the circumstances into which we were born. The rest is so similar it will reassure you that you are not alone.
How many of these 10 items did you think that you were alone in? At least two I suggest. Socialisation is the key to most things in life, talking with others. Imagine if you told someone what you were thinking, in a nice way of course.
Our brains are hard-wired to socialise. Let's talk!