I'm sorry for the hurt that I have caused, I'm sorry for the bad things I've done, I'm sorry for the pain, the grief, the distrust, and all of the other things that I was responsible for that were wrong.
Without question, all of us have done something that we later regret. A bad word, a hurtful comment, spreading rumours, continuing a stream of gossip, maybe something said in the heat of the moment. Aren't we all guilty of an event that we regret at some point in our lives and now we feel guilty about?
Our 'go to' word when we want to make amends is always sorry.
And for the most part, is is a word we say because we mean it. If we could take back all of the hurt, grief, distrust, and other negative effects that we caused by our actions, we would. But we can't, it's done, there's nothing more that we can do except use a simple word, sorry.
Or is there? What if we could do more than just utter a single word, what if we could use two or three words, maybe even a sentence to show how sorry we are. What if we added the words 'so' and 'causing' and 'I'm' and perhaps those other words to describe what we caused by our ill-considered actions. What if we said "I'm so sorry for all of the pain and hurt I caused you", and added another sentence to show that we really meant it?
In the end, they are all just words, simple words.
And for some of us, words will never be able to make amends for what we have done. Maybe we need to take action, maybe we need to show the ones who we hurt that we really are genuine with the words we now use to apologise and we showed how sorry we were by changing our behaviour. Wouldn't that be something?
There are some things that we would love to say sorry for and to take back or rectify what did or said, but we can't for whatever reason. What then? Well, how about working hard so that others don't make the same mistakes as you by showing them your mistakes? Is that not another way of saying sorry?
Can't do that, then why not do as much good as you can in the world to balance the scales back the other way?
There is always more that we can do than simply saying that we are sorry. Find your way of doing something positive to balance the scales. It will help make amends and possibly avoid the self-loathing trap that guilt and regret brings to us every day for what we did.
Remember that you are only human, you have many flaws, we all do. It's how we deal with those flaws that also makes us human, because we care. Be kind to yourself, be kind to others, be as kind as you can, just be kind.
If none of this resonates or works for you then go back to the top of this post, say sorry. It's a start.
Let's talk!