You may have seen a documentary that aired on the TVNZ Sunday programme last Sunday (31st July) that featured my 'melt-down' to coincide with the release of my book - Behind The Tape. To say that I was apprehensive to undertake the filming would be a massive understatement.
I know that my brain thinks negatively, I know that my brain exaggerates things, I know that only one of my five emotions is positive, I know that I will focus solely on the detractors when I read the feedback. But that doesn't help to reassure me.
What does reassure me is the positive feedback that I have received about my disclosure - I went mad! Well, not mad, I succumbed to what many of us succumb to, being impacted by life. If I was honest, being far too sympathetic and emotional. Being human.
I could go on about the reasons I went into a dark space, and I will do so in due course. The documentary only scratched the surface. What I do want to say is a huge THANK YOU.
On the long drive back from work today, a tear (tears) came to my eye, not from road film or from pollen, from gratitude.
I am so very grateful for all of the positive messages that I have received - from past, current and prospective police colleagues, from complete strangers who either were or knew someone who were struggling, from those who are in the same dark place that I have been, from those have battled for so long to find the light, and more importantly, from those who are still in the mire.
Thank you to all of you. I will get to your messages of support eventually to personally thank you, until then please accept this open message as my way of appreciating your kindness. Know that I have left the longer messages or those that require my utmost attention until I can truly respond to you from my heart. Please know that I have read your message and you have lifted my spirits beyond belief.
Humanity is alive and well, I am so pleased that of the many messages I have received - FaceBook, LinkedIn and to my email address - not a single one has been negative of critical. I am so humbled and blessed.
Me te aroha nui ki a koutou katoa - Lots of love to you all.