Why am I So Hard On Myself?

Most of us do it - over-think, over-react, over-worry, and over-analyse - and I for one am over it. But I can't seem to stop myself from doing it. I teach this stuff and even I can't think positively all of the time. Why is that, what hope do others have if I can't stop myself from doing it?

The truth is we can't stop the negative bias that is hardwired into our brain. I have met many positive people and when asked if they are positive all of the time the answer is always the same, no.

We need that negative bias to keep us safe, to keep us from making the same mistake that got us into trouble last time, to keep us from doing dumb things, to keep us on alert and to keep us at our best.

I challenge anyone to tell me that they have never had a negative thought, never sit and ponder over their mistakes, never have a thought of guilt or regret, and never wondered "What if" or "If only". History (evolution) ensures that we have these thoughts so that we can survive and thrive.

What positive people do is to manage the negative thinking by; making amends, dealing with it in some practical way, looking for the positives, or dismissing it altogether and moving on if none of the first three options are available.

That's the secret in all of this, if you can't fix it then forget it. As the over-thought comes into your head - acknowledge it, apologise or make amends for what occurred, work hard to make it right, look at what you learnt from it, - and then move on as quickly as possible.

Remember that we cannot change 50% of worry, it is hereditary. The other 50% we can change because it has become a habit. And a bad one at that.

Worry, guilt, and regret - these are the things that will take you down if you continue to let them get the better of you. (And that’s all they are, thoughts). The next thing that will happen if you keep thinking this way will be feelings of failure, that you aren't good enough, that you aren't worthy. And then will come the feelings of hopelessness and helplessness.

Stop being so hard on yourself, stop all of those dangerous over-thinking practices that you have become accustomed to, and stop those negative thoughts as much as you can. The more that you practice this the easier it will become.

Break the habit, right now. You are the only you that we have, and the world needs you.