We all want to know why it is that some people can face adversity better than others. Research conducted on those who have survived terrible events revealed their secrets.
It was found that those who bounced back quickly from adversity had the following common factors. I shortened them down (a lot) and made them relevant for you;
1. Confront fears - If you are afraid of doing something, you need to do more of it. When we are afraid of something it plays on our mind just like procrastination, all the time fearful that we are going to have to do it at some point. Ensure that you do what it is you are afraid of a small piece at a time to gradually introduce it to your brain.
2. Maintain optimism - Research shows us that being optimistic and remaining positive can add 7 years to your life, medicine can only extend your life for 3 to 4 years. If you want to hang around for a few more years, choose to be happy.
3. Accept support - Asking for help, and accepting it without question, makes us feel good inside. Additionally, our neural pathways (those things that make our brain work properly) increase and grow linking the different parts of our brain together.
4. Imitate strong people - Not just strong people, happy people. Look at what strong and happy people do and you do the same. Also, don't sit with people who moan and gossip, sit with those whose company you enjoy.
5. Rely on your inner compass - Always go with your 'gut' feeling. Know that it is not actually your gut, it is a deep part of the limbic system in your brain that is unaffected by emotion and communication.
6. Accept what you can't change – Continual change is here to stay, you can't fight it so embrace it. Also leave guilt and regret behind you, it is just wasted energy.
7. Concentrate on your health and wellbeing - Some say we only have a certain number of breaths while others will tell us they want to slide into the grave while still partying. Know that if you look after your body and your brain you will find enormous pleasure and you won't need to party all the time to enjoy yourself.
8. Find humour in adversity - Emergency service workers do this, they make a joke about terrible things that they have seen and the horrible tasks that they had to do. This lessens the impact on their wellbeing. By doing so the brain thinks the event is a joke therefore doesn't react negatively to the event.
9. Use the traumatic event to grow - Look at the positives in what happened and learn from what you didn't do so well. Mindfulness is about being in the moment and looking forward. If we keep looking back when we are walking forward we will hit something.
10. Turn to spiritual practice/s - Religion, yoga, meditation, self-talk. All of these things can help you to foster and grow. Talk to that little person who sits inside your head, you know the one, the one that you often deny is in there. He or she is there alright, we all have at least one.